These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living. At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.
Priority #5 – Children (Emotional Health)
Goal – March 2012
Invest in the emotional health of my children by revising our chart, chore, allowance, and behavior system. Specifically this means:
Revising our list of morning, afternoon, and evening routines/chores.
Developing an easier system of connecting routines/chores to an allowance. The system must be easy to record and monitor.
Developing effective and easy to implement consequences for misbehavior.
ORDER – Obedience – Kindness – Peace – Honesty = BOWMAN FAMILY BEHAVIOR PLAN
Our method for managing the behavior of our children is captured in five words.
ORDER refers to Daily Routines (Charts), Chores, and Allowances.
Chores are different than routines. Chores typically take longer to complete than routines and are not necessarily done every day (although not always the case).
I am a fan of chores. Chores teach responsibility and hard work. They allow a child to positively contribute to the family.
There is no right or wrong way to do chores.
Amy has a unique system where most days she gives each of our girl’s three chores and writes the chores underneath their name on the white board in our living room. If necessary, there are also directions and a time frame written with the chores.
After our girls complete a chore they check off or place a line through the chore indicating it has been completed. These chores typically change every day and are based on what Amy needs done around the house.
But the three chores a day system isn’t the only way to distribute chores. You can also assign children specific chores to do every day for a specific period of time (week, month, etc.). For example, one child may do the dishes for a week while another is responsible for vacuuming.
There are probably many other ways to distribute chores along with a million chores children could complete.
The expectation in our home is that chores should be completed within the communicated time frame without complaint or argument.
I have added Chores to the Evening Routine Chart. Chores are assigned throughout the entire day and in the evening we determine whether chores were completed correctly or not. Chores must be completed properly and without complaint in order for this box to get checked on the Evening Routine Chart.
Complaining results in an automatic loss of allowance. Refusal to complete the chore results in a significant consequence.
In our home, chores are mandatory. And our girls are expected to do as much or as little as Amy and I feel we need them to do. Some days we work them hard. Other days not so much.
Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1