Forced Rest

{I am participating in 5 minute Friday. We are given a word, then write 5 minutes. Today’s word is REST.}

And…Go:

REST

I sit in this room where rest has been forced.

Our dear friends, a car accident, a traumatic brain injury & months of healing and rest.

In this room I’ve witnessed pain, determination, suffering, triumph, tears, celebration, testimony & rest.

I’ve watched a hero cycle. He goes from working hard therapy, back to rest. Over & over. These are days of healing and relearning. Small increments of healing that over time add up to miracles. Days have turned into weeks that turn into months & he fights. I am a witness of this hard healing & I watch in awe.

I’ve watched his wife so brave, and although at times, stressed to the max, she is still at rest. She points consistently to the One who provides this. The One who holds her heart pieces together when it breaks. She is real with pain but still testifies how faith is made strong in weakness. She knows when she is weak God is strong and leans heavy on Him and in turn is made strong. She is another fighter who cycles, acknowledging stress then choosing to rest.

This is her lived out testimony:

“Yes, my soul, finds rest in God. My hope comes from Him.” Psalms 62:5

Stop.

—-

Would you be willing to know more about our dear friends and consider giving toward a fund we set up to help lighten the load? We are getting close to the goal and I know every bit helps and so appreciated!

If you are unable to give, will you pray for them? The journey has been long and the road is hard. I know your prayers will bring continued rest.

5 Minute Fridays/ Spiritual

Trust & A Health Update

Participating in 5 Minute Fridays. 5 minutes to write about one word. Unedited.
This week’s word: TRUST
………………..
GO:

My last health update was last May, and I was in searching for answers for an extreme nausea that I had been experiencing for weeks.

20 pounds lost, watching the scale go down brought on such fear and anxiety.

A summer full of tests & more tests, still no answers.

No sign of cancer brought some relief to my fear, but unknowns still abound–yet I will trust.

I went off cancer meds, thinking they were the culprit, but they were not. Adjusting to going off of them & then back on was — an adjustment. Chemical menopause, then not paused, then chemical menopause once again brought more than pause, it stopped me in my tracks. There were many days of crying out to God in despair. I wanted answers. I wanted normal. I wanted to be able to feel well again & write well again, instead of forcing yet another recipe post.

I am feeling better and finding my normal. Anti-anxiety medication seems to be the answer I needed to bring back normal, for cancer meds don’t just steal my hormones but what seemed to be the whole of who I am.

The nausea still lingers in the mornings, but yet another medication has taken the severity of it away and I am able to eat again and my weight has stabilized. I am so. very. thankful. A bit of weight has been gained, & so has my trust.

God was near this past year. I have been running hard to Him in the hard moments, for hard moments turn to precious in His presence. It is in these hard life moments when desperation gives no choice but search His words for help and hope, & He is always there, saying “Trust.”

STOP.

…………….

5 Minute Fridays/ Spiritual

Being Found + 16 Of God’s Promises

Participating in 5 Minute Fridays. 5 minutes to write about one word. Unedited.
This week’s word: FIND
………………..
GO:

Seek me and you will find:

Peace

Hope

Goodness

Love

Clarity

Think this is too good to be true? It is not.

His promises reign true.

Are you in a season of hopelessness? Seek Him & Find Him. Allow Him to do what He does best, changing what was meant for harm to good.

Will He immediately change your circumstance? Will He immediately heal?

Sometimes. Most times, not immediately.

Most of the time healing is a process, and one that must be sought after with all that we are. Persevere my friend. Hang on.

God will be with you. He is found with promise after promise to work all things out for the good who love Him. Seek those promises, they will be a light for you in the dark, a hammock for you’re hurting heart.

Keep seeking. Keep looking for answers, for healing.

Know that our keeper sees you, knows you, and you are found.

STOP.

————-

16 of God’s Promises

{From God’s Promises For The Hungry Heart}

1. I can use evil things that happen to you to accomplish good things. Genesis 50:20

2. I will cause your life to draw others to Christ. Matthew 4:19

3. While you depend on Me, I get things done for you. Exodus 14:14

4. You can have My comfort and be satisfied. Matthew 5.4-6

5. I will never lie to you. I’ll make good what I say! Numbers 23:19

6. When you’re merciful – you’ll enjoy My mercy. Matthew 5:7

7. Trust Me. I keep my word. Forever. Deuteronomy 7:9

8. I have a reward for you in Heaven because you endured hard times here. Matthew 5:11

9. When you soak yourself in My Word, you’ll have success. Joshua 1:8

10. Put Me first – I will give you all your need. Matthew 6:33

11. You can be fearless in any situation because I’m with you. Joshua 1:9

12. I want to give you good things. Matthew 7:9-11

13. Every promise you find in My word will happen. Joshua 21:45

14. Do My will and you’ll go to heaven. Matthew 7:21

15. Share my love with others – I’ll reward you! Matthew 10:42

16. Give me your burdens and you’ll receive My rest. Matthew 11:28-30

5 Minute Fridays/ Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Spiritual

Health Is A Gift – 5 Minute Friday and A Health Update

Participating in 5 Minute Fridays. 5 minutes to write about one word. Unedited.
This week’s word: GIFT
………………..
GO:

Health is a gift.

On Tuesday I had a CT scan and a bone scan, as it had been 2 years and I have been having health problems.

On Wednesday I get the call that they saw no evidence of disease. Such a gift! I rejoice.

On June 17 I will meet with a Gastroenterologist and there will be more looking on the insides for answers. Oncologist tells me they have tests that can show what scans can miss, and maybe answer questions. Why weight loss? Why the daily nausea and digestive issues? I hope to get some answers.

Appetite is a gift.

Stomach growling is a gift.

Even weight gain is a gift when one sees the scale sliding down, down, down and has no idea why.

But here is where I really want to be.

I want to be in the place where all is a gift, embracing all that God has allowed to go through His hands and onto me, His child.

Even the hard stuff.

I’m not there yet…not even close.

When cancer treatment caused the symptoms, I was closer, as symptoms were expected and let up in time.

In this unexpected and unknown, it has been harder.

I want easy and let’s get real honest, I want perfect. I fight perfectionism, a battle that has crept back up.

I am being stripped of perceived perfect and that is a gift.

I feel like I’m flailing and falling through this life of nausea, just wanting stillness.

And the I get a glimpse, on Wednesday, when girlfriends surround and make a cross on my forehead with anointing oil and pray to our great God for answers and healing and ultimately, His will– whatever that might be.

With hands laid, prayers lifted, a breeze coming through the open window and robins chirping, I find not what I want, which is health, but what I need.

The gift of stillness.

STOP.

…………….

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

5 Minute Fridays/ Spiritual

Simple Steps To Meeting With God

Participating in 5 Minute Fridays. 5 minutes to write about one word. Unedited.

This week’s word: MEET

………………..

GO:

Come, meet with me, meditate on my truths

Meet with me in the morning for there you will find my mercies are new

Visualize what I can do in you, visualize how you see your future

Speak with me, pray my name

Speak to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things

Quiet your thoughts, turn down thoughts spinning, turn up my truth and use it as meditation.

Skip the morning? Then find me in the night.

Just come

Come quiet, let’s meet.

Simple Steps Of Meeting with God:

~Grab pen, journal, Bible

~Find a quiet space

~Light a candle

~Come quiet

~Meet Mercies

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22,23

~Pray my name

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, Matthew 6:9

~Meditate on my Truth

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. Psalm 1:2

~Visualize my promises

~Ask and receive

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete. John 16:24

~Seek and find

I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. Proverbs 8:17

~Be anxious for nothing

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

~In everything give thanks

~Turn on songs

~Listen & receive

~Meet.

STOP.

………………..

Want to see more 5 Minute Fridays?

1 Staying Open When You Want To Grip Closed

2. To Write The Mind Alive

3. So Long Last Year, Welcome This Year

4. The Whispers I Hear

5. Finish Strong

6. Oh She Glows

7. Friend

8. Wait

5 Minute Fridays/ Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Spiritual

Staying Open When You Want To Grip Closed

Participating in 5 Minute Fridays. 5 minutes to write about one word. Unedited.

This week’s word: OPEN.

………………..

GO:

“Open your heart, open your hands, keep open to me, my Darling.”

My Savior woos.

This temptation to grip tight & close, to go inward–it is especially strong as of late.

My actions would match the pit in my stomach, tight & gripped.

I know He has plans and purpose, even in the struggle…especially in the struggle.

This physical body, this shell I live in…it can be such a complicated thing. Physical, emotional, spiritual. All entwined.

Yesterday I read the report of my physical body. A simple blood test brought rave reviews! High vitamin D levels, perfect blood levels, normal cholesterol. Blood pressure is nice and low. Oh, how I praise You! I get to live!

So here is my prayer. Lord, hear my cry!

Lord? These medications I take to keep this shell of mine free from that which would kill me?

I don’t like them. I’m thankful for them, but I don’t like them.

They make my stomach clench closed.

But here is the deal. I will remain.

I remain in you. You hold me and have me. Your hand is open, holding, cradling, full of the whole world and me.

I will remain in you. I will open to your plan. I will obey & humble & search and find.

I will walk, even stumble forward and will not give in to despair.

I will seek, I will find. You are here as You always have been, and always will be.

I will open.

STOP.

………………..

As you can tell, I’m still struggling to find my center. I feel we are close to finding some answers to make the medications I take a bit more bearable emotionally. In a nutshell, the shot I talk about here and another medication that I take to sweep up every bit of estrogen and progesterone in my body seems to sweep up more than just hormone. It sweeps up my spark, too, and it has been the biggest of challenges.

We are searching and finding some answers, but it all takes time. In the meantime, I covet your prayers.

………………..

Can you relate? Has depression put a lid on you? Has anxiety got your stomach in knots?

There are answers. Search for them. Fight for health. Do what it takes. Do not be afraid to reach out. Find a counselor. Find a trusted psychiatrist. It is worth it, you are worth it.

Some simple things you can do for yourself at home that might help?

~take a detox bath

~meditate on the Truth of God’s Word

~tell a trusted friend

~take vitamins and supplements

~exercise…even if just a short walk

~take melatonin for sleep (ask your doc first)

~wake a bit early for quiet time, especially if it is the only quiet you get in a day

~never lose hope

5 Minute Fridays/ HOME/ Spiritual

Wait – Five Minute Friday

I’m happy to be linking up to Five Minute Friday.

Five minutes to write on the word: Welcome.

Write–don’t edit–just 5 minutes to be in the moment–

————————

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
they walk and don’t lag behind.

Isaiah 40:31

Go:

Wait.

The month of January, this year of 2015, is a month and year where I have placed & prioritized stillness, quiet, meditation & waiting, into my day.

I realized I am responsible for my own spirit, and that we are to take inventory of how our spirits are doing, for what flows out of our spirit is what flows– into our day, into life.

The time I found to wait & meditate had to be early morning, for it is the only time my home is still enough for me to still.

I have found that waiting in the early dawn when the day is just beginning, is just the beginning.

I’ve learned, as the verse says above, that waiting is often movement…a doing.

I still to trust, I trust then act.

I still to find strength, to run and not grow weary.

I wait so that I may walk and not get stuck or lag behind.

I have yet to feel a consistency of soaring with eagles, as these moments are still too few and far between, yet my spirit longs for this Heaven on earth, this promised Kingdom come.

I hold on to this promise, this hope of His Kingdom come, and rest.

His precious will be done.

Stop.

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