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I Finally Found a Word for 2013

I’ve been keeping my eyes and ears open for the perfect word for 2013. I found this beautiful image on Pinterest and immediately knew I had stumbled upon my word. Couldn’t you just spend an afternoon (or 5!) curled up on that couch with a book and some chai?

This is the opposite of worry, fear, anxiety & fretting. It is only accomplished in me through the power of Him. It will remind me of the deep trust I have in God and His goodness, that nothing passes through His hands to me that He is not aware of. It will remind me that “Life is NOT an emergency”-Ann Vosamp. It will remind me to be serene enough to be present in each moment, continuing to remember to life this life NEW! Cancer did not take my life, and I see that as an opportunity to live intentionally. Submitted to my Creator. Calm.

My Simple New Year’s Resolutions

1. Get my greens daily. In salads, smoothies or juicing.

2. Get to the gym, 3 hours a week.

3. One load of laundry per day. Washed, dried & put away.

Breville Compact Juicer–On Sale for $99.

Below is the juicer I use and love!

Click here for my posts on juicing/juice recipes.

ANTI-PROCRASTINATION/ HOME

Anti-Procrastination Tuesday

Goals This Week:

Enjoy my family and be thankful!

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Since I have numerous bloggers coming to link up today, I wanted to tell you all about Social Spark. I’ve been making money blogging about interesting products and services via Social Spark. You do not need to be a large size blog to make money. They pay on a sliding scale according to traffic, as your traffic grows, so does your earnings. It is super user friendly and you can decided which offers to accept. I only chose things I would write about here at New Nostalgia anyway.

Here is an example of a post I wrote for them–How To Make A Envelope Note Out of One Sheet of Paper. Social Spark is my biggest money maker on this blog, it has been a huge blessing for our family, and all I have had to do is write an occasional sponsored post! Let me know if you are interested, or click on the link above to sign up.

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Last Weeks Most Clicked On Links:

Peeping Into Our Pantries @ My Sister’s Pantry

DIY Stamps @ Can’t Stop Making Things

5 Fast Dinner Recipes @ Semi-Domesticated Life

Eliminate Stress and Anxiety In 57 Seconds @ Small Footprint Family

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Be Inspired, Be Encouraged, & Get Something Done!

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Uncategorized

Meet Our November Sponsors!

Won’t you join me in saying hello to the lovely sponsors for November?!

Toby and Max Jewelry // Inspirational jewelry with motivational words and quotes.

Seriously God? by Jenny Smith // Jenny’s family faced foreclosure, job loss, the anxiety of no health insurance, and having to learn adapt to a different income bracket, like so many other families. Seriously, God? is not just a book title but the question our hearts are struggling with in these uncertain times.

Simply Been // Personalized jewelry and gifts, perfect for showing the world what matters most by wearing it close to your heart!

Clean Mama // Original organizational documents designed to take the *WORK* out of organizing your life.

Twisted Tape // Duct tape accessories handmade in Nebraska!

Nudge Media // Professional logos, facebook page templates, business cards, blog templates and other tools for personal branding.

Beauty Divine // Fresh and modern templates for the busy photographer.

She Makes Hats // Handmade hats for folks of all ages. For every hat purchased, one is donated to a child in need!

What’s True About You? by Kristan Farley // This book helps remind your children what God says is true about them!

The Idea Box Kids! // A little box that requires nothing more than a child’s playful spirit…and, for parents that love to watch it all happen.

Interested in sponsoring New Nostalgia this holiday season? Visit our Sponsor Page for more information (and updated stats and testimonials!)

Cancer Journey/ HEALTH

2 Year Cancer-versary!

*A REPOST FROM 2 YEARS AGO! CELEBRATING 2 YEAR SURVIVORSHIP TODAY!

I. FEEL.SO.THANKFUL.

Thank you for sticking with me through it all.

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August 31, 2010

As some of you might have noticed, I have not posted in awhile.

I’ve been a bit busy— getting diagnosed with breast cancer.

How’s that for getting to the point?

I want you to all know that I am ready to fight this thing. I have so many who love me, and I have so much to fight for. The last few days have been surreal and quite honestly, some of the hardest of my life. I’ve already learned so much about myself, life, and love. I know this cancer thing is going to be a great teacher in my life. I’ve decided to allow it to do just that, but at the same time, will be doing everything in my power to kick it the heck outta here.

The tumor is quite large, 4 centimeters. {*update…MRI showed it to be 6 centimeters} There may be lymph nodes involved, we are still in the initial testing phase. I had a CT scan and a bone scan today, the CT scan did not show any other areas. Praise God! I will get bone scan reports on Tuesday. Next week will be a busy week of MRI, PET scan and meeting with my Surgeon, then Oncologist. We will know the exact stage the cancer is in and the plan of action by next Thursday. I’ve been told by my doctor to be ready for aggressive treatment, which she guesses will include chemotherapy first, to shrink the tumor, then surgery.

I’ve had many different moments the last few days. I have felt intense fear and anxiety to the point of physical sickness, but also moments of sweet peace and thankfulness. It’s quite a roller coaster, a scary one that quite frankly I would really like to get off of.

We told my three girls tonight (ages 11, 9 & 7). They were so very sweet. We cried together, they came to us for hugs, then they held each other. They asked lots of questions. We were very honest with them and will continue to be. They took it in a much more calm manner than what I expected, which was nice. They are processing and will continue to do so. We spent the last 10 minutes of our family meeting dreaming up a Halloween costume for their bald mama!:) The best we came of with was twins…my husband is bald. 🙂

This blog has always just been about my life. If we make a craft, I share it. A new recipe, I write about it. Thoughts in my head…out they come down onto a post. I really don’t know any other way to blog other than just share my life, so this blog is about to have a new subject added to it. Cancer is life right now, it is pretty much an all consuming fight, so I ask you to bear with me as I write and fight. I won’t be able to post as often, and the subject matter will be pretty real as I really don’t know how else to be. Thank you so much for being such great readers and such an encouraging community. I will let you as much as possible how I am doing.

Before I sign off, I’d like to tell you that the ONLY way I am getting through any of this is by the help of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is my everything. He is faithful. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. I will praise His name no matter what happens. He has so clearly told me that He is with me, and will never leave me or forsake me.

Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Spiritual

Health & Heart Update

I’ve been wanting to update you all on my health for awhile now, but have had a hard time coming up with the words to express
JUST HOW VERY THANKFUL I AM.

How do I communicate such joy and gratefulness?

My most recent blood tests show perfect hormone levels. Perfect iron levels. Perfect calcium levels. A vitamin D level to brag about (I have been working on getting this up, SO important for cancer, and immunity in general). My liver and kidneys are working as they should. My blood cell counts are all great. My digestive system is amazing. My energy level is great. No naps needed. I only have 2 prescriptions that I take, which is a MAJOR change from the last year.

Who am I that You are mindful of me? Psalm 8:4

Perfect hormone levels are a HUGE gift. A few months ago my estrogen was so high we were trying to decide whether to take out my ovaries or use drugs to shut them down. Either option would bring on instant menopause. I got a glimpse of what this feels like when I was adjusting to the drug, Tamoxifen, that I will take for 5 years. Not fun. I honestly think it has been many years since my hormones were where they should be. I think this contributed to getting cancer. I have begged God at times to straighten me out. It has been its own battle, and I can’t believe I sit here stable, with no emotional highs and lows.
God has answered a prayer that I have put before him since 2001, and He did it through cancer. Without cancer, I would not have changed my eating habits to a plant based diet. Without cancer I would not have had to switch from one anti-anxiety medication to another, since the first was not compatible with my cancer meds. I dreaded the switch, it turned out to be exactly what my body needed.

His ways are mysterious. Isaiah 45:15

Am I thankful for cancer? No.

Am I thankful for what God has done in my life through cancer? Yes. A million times, Yes.

There are many things I have to thank Him for, but the one that makes my heart feel so full, is the perspective of eternity that it brings. I see life in light of eternity now. I tangibly get how this life is temporary. I have felt glimpses of my body shutting down, the first week of my last chemo treatment was a scary feeling, to feel my body being overwhelmed, weaker than prior treatments and staying weak longer. It scared me. I was so grateful it was the last treatment.

This perspective is one that I rebelled against at first. I HATED that I had to come to grips with my mortality and live with the statistics that I do.

I had to learn how to come to grips with 50/50.

My Stage 3, 6 centimeter, lymph node involvement, 1ml. away from chest wall margin cancer gives me a 50/50 chance of being alive in 10 years. Many survivors don’t like to know their statistics. I had to know, so I could learn to live with them.

For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, to be content. Philippians 4:12

Easy to say that verse when I am in remission, have my energy, and things are looking good. But I can honestly say that in the midst of battle, this verse became very real to me and I definitely came a long way in my lessons in contentment. I believe the key to contentment is thankfulness. I may only have 10 years, but I know some that only have 10 months, so I give thanks even for scary statistics. Perspective. As I practice thankfulness, counting the many gifts, I literally feel like my heart will burst with thankfulness.

This in itself is a gift, recognizing that EACH DAY is a gift.

I have learned this by watching those I love, die. Cancer has brought the sick into my life. Each one of them are a precious gift. I will not allow their deaths to bring fear, they would not want that. I will learn from their courage. I especially learned from my L girls words on her deathbed, “I am just so thankful for this day.”

I am learning from her words. I am learning to look at the future and laugh, despite having a future that is unknown.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25

Don’t get me wrong, I want to grow old, I long to know my grandchildren, and see my children age. I beg God for this, yet I am learning to say,

“Not my will, but Yours be done.” Luke 22:42

I am learning how to say this because I have learned who He is. He is trustworthy no matter what the future.

He holds the future in His hands.

Because of this, I lean into Him and rest, even in a future that could bring pain, loss, and death.

Many of you know that I read the book, “Jesus Calling“almost everyday. It brings such truth to my mind, and I depended on it when I was sick. There were very few days where I didn’t read it before lifting my head from my pillow, just so I could face the fears and struggles of the day that cancer brings. Today’s entry was awesome.

I must share:

Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence

January 26, p. 63

(this book writes from the perspective of Jesus talking to us)

Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties. This is a false hope!
As I told My disciples, in the world you will have trouble. Link your hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of problem-free life in heaven. Instead of seeking perfection in this fallen world, pour your energy into seeking Me: the Perfect One.

It is possible to enjoy Me and glorify Me in the midst of adverse circumstances. In fact, My Light shines most brightly through believers who trust Me in the dark. That kind of trust is supernatural: a production of My indwelling Spirit. When things seem all wrong, trust Me anyway. I am much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes your way.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

“Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man…
He will have no fear of bad news;
his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. Psalm 112:4,7

Counting Gifts/ FAMILY

One Thousand Gifts #35

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

I was not going to list the gifts today. I just was not feeling it. I felt it would have been forced after a morning of feeling anxious about the smallest things, and impatient with my girls who are all home from school today –this sentence was paused to work through yet another little girls squabbling drama–sigh. Things feel off kilter here in our home this morning, and my response is not one of patience.

I was scrolling through facebook and came upon Ann Voskamps post, titled “What’s The Answer To Anxiety?” I smiled before I even read it, knowing it would be just what I needed to find my thanks and joy today. It was.

Here is my practicing of thanks, despite emotions that take time to catch up with what I know to be true.

I have so much to be thankful for.

I feel the knot in my stomach already starting to unravel. I feel my head slowly lift. I am grateful.

#789- #800

~the fact that our thanks is accepted by God despite feet dragging

~my home. It’s “up keep” triggered some of my anxiety today. I’m starting to see how silly that is.

~my precious girls. The privilege of being their mom and teacher.

~coffee and oatmeal with dried cranberries

~a friends determination to keep making great choices. The inspiration that brings to me.

~energy and health.

~my husband. His ability to prioritize. His decision long ago to put God and family first.

~meeting writers that live in my own city through facebook! A lunch date set with 6 of them. Can’t wait!

~music. How it calms. How it makes me move. How it causes me to look up.

~NO DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS in the month of January. First time I can say that since diagnosis. Oh–other than a dentist appointment. My dentist is my bro-in-law, and he rocks so that doesn’t count.

~realizing that I do not think of death or cancer on a daily basis anymore. Healing that time brings.

~a growing community of readers on Facebook. The ease of communication with precious people who support my words. Seeing their faces in their profile pics. I LOVE it! Come join us?

Cancer Journey/ HEALTH

Breast Cancer Update-Scan Results

{below is an update, the 2 most recent journals from my Caring Bridge site}

MONDAY, APRIL 18, 2011 9:00 PM, CDT

Today was scan day.

I had to drink 2 15 oz. bottles of barium.

I remember drinking the same berry flavored barium way back in August when this battle started. I sipped and gagged and complained and eyes watered.

Not this time.

I guzzled that baby, it went down smooooooth. I buckled down and got ‘er done and felt pretty darn proud when I was done. I think I’ve toughened up a bit in the last 8 months!:)

But, just when I start feeling tough, I am humbled again.

Due to an earlier allergic reaction to bone scan contrast, I had an I.V. inserted and Benedryl pushed, just to be safe. The minute Benedryl entered my system, I reacted. Lungs tightened, heart raced, nausea. I shook like a leaf! I flushed, and was lightheaded–I thought I would faint. The very medicine that was supposed to keep me from reacting to the contrast caused this reaction! This reaction happened in the waiting room in front of others– very humbling. I am not sure why the nurse brought the injections into the waiting room instead of taking me back to a room, but I sure would have preferred a bit of privacy.

The nurse seemed baffled at my reaction and asked if I had anxiety. That TICKED ME OFF! To me, it was clear I was having an immediate reaction to whatever she had just pushed into my IV. I did a google search on Benedryl reactions and read that if it is pushed too hard/fast without diluting, that some people can have serious reactions, with symptoms similar to what I was having. I even read a nurses thread where a nurse talked about 2 different patients of hers coding due to a Benedryl reaction! Whoa.

We all know I can get a bit anxious about things, but that is NOT what was happening at that moment. Grrrr.

I laid down for awhile and was monitored. I was a little annoyed because this put lunch off an hour and I WAS HUNGRY!! Barium for breakfast just didn’t cut it for me:)

The rest of the day was fine. My heart raced a bit when they pushed the contrast dye in, but it slowed down quickly so I didn’t worry about it too much, I was really too sleepy to worry thanks to the Benedryl! No rash so far, last time it showed up in the evening.

My CAT scan was in the morning, when all this craziness happened. It is a scan that takes sliced images, and they scanned from my chin to my hips.

My mom was with me and we went to lunch, then arrived back at the hospital in time for my 2:00 bone scan. My day got much better once I was able to eat 😛

The nurse asked if I had any sore areas of bone, and I told her about my scapula pain. She took 2 extra pics of that area, and said “I’m not a doctor, but comparing that scapula area to your last scan, they look the same” I was so happy and relieved to hear that! I’ve tried not to worry about this soreness, but I have…

Toward the end of my scans, I turned to my mom and said “I have no groceries in the house and no plans for dinner” She suggested I make breakfast food for dinner–eggs and toast or french toast. Minutes later, my phone rings and it is my friend, Karma. She is a three time breast cancer survivor who attends that church I do and has become such a sweet friend to me the last few months. She said “I made extra Chicken Divan for your family, can I bring it around 5:30?” I got off the phone and my mom and I laughed out loud at the goodness of God. I didn’t have to make breakfast for dinner, although it was a good idea..:P

That was cool enough, but I later saw another reason why God provided dinner for us tonight.

It was about the time I usually would start making dinner, and I got a phone call from a lady whom I have talked to but had never met. I had heard about this lady from my Avery girl. She told me there was a girl in her class whose mommy also had breast cancer. I called this woman and told her I would love to meet her. That was weeks ago. She called me today and said, “Can I meet you? Like, now?” 🙂 I was not in the middle of dinner- makin’-craziness like I usually would have been. I was able to say “of course, I can’t wait to meet you, come on over.” We sat and talked as Karma’s Chicken Divan warmed in my oven. It was a wonderful conversation–this woman is amazing and I am SO BLESSED to know her!!

Romans 8:28

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

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TUESDAY, APRIL 19, 2011 6:13 PM, CDT

I called my oncologist office 5 minutes to closing time. I WAS NOT going to wait another day for scan results!

I am glad I did, because I learned my doctor is out of town until Monday!

I talked to a nurse, and she read my scan results, but kept telling me that Dr. Midathada could explain them further and answer any of my questions.

Here is what she said:

CAT scan:
was NEGATIVE for signs of metastatic disease 🙂

It does show a dominate ovarian cyst, this is one we knew about as it had showed itself back in September, but there is growth. The radiologist suggests that I have an pelvic ultrasound done to check it out. Ovarian cycts are rarely cancer, but with my history she was sure my doc would want to check it out. That’s kinda poopy.:(

Bone Scan:

There was still uptake in my rib area. They called it “degenerative changes” on the report, and it sounds like it has progressed some? The nurse said they will want to do a bone density check on me.
When I asked her if that could be cancer related or a sign of cancer, she said she will have the doctor call me to answer my questions. Hmmm.

Sooooooo..

I am very, very thankful the scans didn’t light up everywhere showing cancer spread. That is AWESOME. My liver looks good, my kidneys look good, my lymph nodes look good, my chest and breast look goooooood:) Ha. I am going to celebrate that!!!

But…

sounds like my life of doctor appointments will continue for awhile.
Oh well, what is a few more…I’m not sure what I would do with myself if my life was devoid of all doctor appointments…

My main prayer request is that we could get answers quickly, and all this appointment craziness will be over with by the time my girls get out of school for the summer.

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