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Going There — Mental Illness

MENTAL-ILLNESS

May is mental illness month, and I couldn’t be more pleased about that. I’ve been wanting to write this post all month–leave it to me to procrastinate until the very end of the month!

Mental illness has become a subject that I have become passionate about.  I am passionate about awareness.  I am ready to join the brave voices already talking about it.

Where does this passion come from?  I myself have fought an anxiety disorder for years, and for way too long– especially in the evangelical community that I identify myself with– it has been something that is not talked about very openly  Until now.

I see a movement.  I see people getting real with others, opening up about pain and sickness in their lives.  I see people finding hope and healing in these conversations that are taking place, and I want to be a part of that.  I have been part of that at some women’s conferences I have spoken at, and these said moments are some of the most meaningful of my whole life.  Women opening up, exposing their struggle or the struggle of their loved ones, finding hope in each others stories, & trading tried and true ways to get through the many obstacles mental illness creates.

It is about time there is more openness on the subject. Here is why, from Time.com:

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 60 million Americans experience a mental health condition every year – that’s one in four adults and one in ten children. People of every race, age, religion or economic status are affected. Whether we are aware of it or not, we all know someone who is living with some form of mental illness.

My passion also comes from watching some of my closest family and friends suffer.  Some in silence. Some publicly. Some sharing with only the closest of friends. Some too young to even know there is a stigma associated with the label of mental illness– quite frankly–these young ones are the bravest and most inspiring.  A young teen, one so dear to my heart, who in a matter-of-fact way says “I have bi-polar, but I’m learning how to live with it.  It does not define me.”  Words of truth from the mouth of babes.

I will get into my own journey with an anxiety disorder in coming posts, but for today, I want to address those of us who are called the Church.

Pastor Rick Warren, who lost his precious son to the disease of depression & suicide, was recently on The View.  I set my DVR to record it, as I was very interested in what he had to say and I know he shares this passion of mine to help the church see we are missing the boat when it comes to caring well for those who suffer with mental illness.  I hung on ever word of his.

Here is the entire segment from ABC.  Pastor Warren and his wife talk about marriage, which really is priceless {grin–you gotta watch it to get that comment} and towards the end he talks about his son’ mental health, and how the evangelical community needs to do a better job at loving and understanding those who are suffering.

Here are some of my favorite things Rick Warren has said:

“There is no shame in diabetes, there is no shame in high blood pressure, but why is it that if our brains stop working, there is supposed to be shame in that?” said Warren, who said the family kept Matthew’s illness a secret from the public not because of shame, but “because it was his own story to tell.”

“There’s no shame when any other organ in your body fails, so why do we feel shame if our brain is broken?”

“If a bird falls and breaks its wing, we don’t say to it,””read your Bible and pray until you get better”” no, we fix its wing”

‘It’s OK. I’m not OK, you’re not OK, but that’s OK because God’s OK.’”

And these heartbreaking words about their son:

“Our hilariously funny, immensely creative, intensely compassionate son struggled to make sense of his life and the mental pain he was experiencing. His anguish was our anguish,” Rick and Kay Warren wrote in a recent Time op-ed. “On April 5, 2013, impulse met opportunity in a tragic way. Our beautiful son ran into the unforgiving wall of mental illness for the last time.”

Mental illness is a complicated matter, but it is a matter that needs to be talked about.  There are too many suffering, especially our young people, with parents at their wits end not knowing what the best decision is for their children.  An estimated 20 percent of U.S. teenagers have some mental-health irregularity, including 10 percent who have some behavior or conduct disorder, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness.  If there is history of mental illness in both sides of the family, the chances of  children suffering is multiplied and extremely high.  Genetics plays a huge part, as does trauma, which means this subject is not going away, and we must keep talking about it.  

Survey results from the Southern Baptist-affiliated nonprofit Lifeway Research, released in September, found that close to half of evangelical, fundamentalist and born-again Christians believe prayer and Bible study alone can solve mental illness. Among Americans as a whole, about one in three shared that view. Nevertheless, 68 percent of Americans said they believed they would be welcome in church if they were mentally ill.

“It’s just not the case that faith or religious belief will inoculate or immunize a person against mental illness,” said Aaron Kheriaty “We want to convince Christians that psychiatrists, religious leaders and mental health advocates, all of us can work hand in hand.”

I personally suffered way too long without the medication I needed due to well-meaning advice from others–  “Have more faith” “Be obedient to Christ, read the Bible more & pray more” ” “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, goodness, & self-control, submit to the spirit” “No meds unless you absolutely cannot get out of bed (I had anxiety, not depression.  I was always able to get out of bed, but walked around sick.)  “The pharmaceutical companies are corrupt, don’t take meds, they don’t work” –all of these things and more were said to me.  I am so thankful I was able to work out details, think clear enough for myself & along with God’s direction (can’t wait to tell you the story of this) of what medication my body needed to make me able to be who God created me to be.  My true self.

I am eager to write more on this topic in coming posts.

What are your thoughts?  Do you know someone with mental illness? How do you feel the church is doing with those who are suffering with mental illness?

 

My Cancer Story

Here is how my cancer story began.  My story entwined with your story, as you all walked with me, touched my heart and lifted my head.

 

THANK YOU.

{keep scrolling for all cancer story links}

 

 

August 2010

As some of you might have noticed, I have not posted in awhile.

 

I’ve been a bit busy— getting diagnosed with breast cancer.

How’s that for getting to the point?

I want you to all know that I am ready to fight this thing.  I have so many who love me, and I have so much to fight for.  The last few days have been surreal and quite honestly, some of the hardest of my life.  I’ve already learned so much about myself, life, and love.  I know this cancer thing is going to be a great teacher in my life.  I’ve decided to allow it to do just that, but at the same time, will be doing everything in my power to kick it the heck outta here.

The tumor is quite large, 4 centimeters. {*update…MRI showed it to be 6 centimeters}  There may be lymph nodes involved, we are still in the initial testing phase.  I had a CT scan and a bone scan today, the CT scan did not show any other areas.  Praise God!  I will get bone scan reports on Tuesday.  Next week will be a busy week of MRI, PET scan and meeting with my Surgeon, then Oncologist.  We will know the exact stage the cancer is in and the plan of action by next Thursday.  I’ve been told by my doctor to be ready for aggressive treatment, which she guesses will include chemotherapy first, to shrink the tumor, then surgery.

I’ve had many different moments the last few days.  I have felt intense fear and anxiety to the point of physical sickness, but also moments of sweet peace and thankfulness.  It’s quite a roller coaster, a scary one that quite frankly I would really like to get off of.

We told my three girls tonight (ages 11, 9 & 7).  They were so very sweet. We cried together, they came to us for hugs, then they held each other. They asked lots of questions.  We were very honest with them and will continue to be.  They took it in a much more calm manner than what I expected, which was nice.  They are processing and will continue to do so.  We spent the last 10 minutes of our family meeting dreaming up a Halloween costume for their bald mama! The best we came of with was  twins…my husband is bald.  🙂

This blog has always just been about my life.  If we make a craft, I share it.  A new recipe, I write about it.  Thoughts in my head…out they come down onto a post.  I really don’t know any other way to blog other than just share my life, so this blog is about to have a new subject added to it.  Cancer is life right now, it is pretty much an all consuming fight, so I ask you to bear with me as I write and fight.  I won’t be able to post as often, and the subject matter will be pretty real as I really don’t know how else to be.  Thank you so much for being such great readers and such an encouraging community.  I will let you as much as possible how I am doing.

Before I sign off, I’d like to tell you that the ONLY way I am getting through any of this is by the help of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  He is my everything. He is faithful. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  I will praise His name no matter what happens. He has so clearly told me that He is with me, and will never leave me or forsake me.



{A Video I Made For My Husband.  A Year Of Cancer}

 

August 2010

Finding Cancer

Details of how I found the lump

 

September 2010

Struggling To Surrender

A poem that expressed my heart

My Caring Bridge Site

Link to site, port surgery & fluid on my heart

A Double Dad Day

Lost freedom, frustration & love from my Fathers.

My 1st Chemo Treatment

Thoughts & pictures

Coping Through Songs

2 of my favorites that helped get me though

1,000 Gifts

Counting the gifts even through cancer

Fighting Cancer With Nutrition

My beginning steps

The Gifts Of Cancer

The amazing stories begin..

Goodbye Hair–See You In 2011

The hair starts to go.

Shaving My Head

The whole saga..

 

October 2010

My Bro-In-Law Rockin’ The Bald Look With Me
Baldness support and preparing for chemo #2

Processing Cancer

Thoughts of my mortality, & raw emotions.

Music On My Mind

How songs helped me cope

Getting Pain Checked Today
My spleen acts up

Learning To Dance
One of my most heart felt writings.  It was healing to write.

Hope
A song and some important thoughts on hope.

Chemo Round 3
Preparing and a song that kept me happy

One Thousand Gifts
Counting the gifts in the midst of cancer

Shine
Another song that spoke deeply to me

 

November 2010
Chemo Side Effects
A list of side effects and what chemo patients consider a good day.

A Rambling Update On My Health
Lymph nodes, plastic surgeons, surgery & radiation plans.

 

December 2010
My Continued Journey With Cancer
Meeting with my surgeon, preparing for mastectomy.

Peace
Finding it through song.

Breast Redo’s & Nipple Tattoos?
Awareness, Amy style 🙂

Am I Really Cancer Free??
A short lived freedom from worry.

Do Not Fear
A song and my thoughts

New Test Results Show Cancer
This news was almost as hard as original diagnosis.  Rough.

Dancing With My Husband In Minefields
His knee surgery, my mastectomy.  He is my hands, I am his feet.  Dancing!

A Detailed, Disheartening Update
One of my lowest times in my cancer journey.

 

January 2011
Cancer Update: Pathology Results
An update written by my husband.  His first post ever on the blog.

He Is Lifting My Head
An peace and joy that passes understanding.

Help In Time Of Need
A past poem I wrote, 10 months before diagnosis, asking to be broken then healed.

Riding The Twists and Turns
Stuck in the “waiting for test results” line.

My Oncology Appointment Today
“Reading about my insides being studied on the outside freaks me out”

No More Chemo and a Plan Of Action
Ductal diagnosis changed to Lobular.  Lots to process!

Cancer Battle Update
“L” is for lymph, not loser!

Cancer Journey Update
A lump.  Another surgery. Radiation postponed.

 

February 2011
Cancer Update
Surgery. A blown I.V. & God’s amazing Words to me.

A Real & Healing Transfusion
Words of mine written before needles, pokes and tubes were part of my life.

2 Cancer Journal Entries
Peaks & Valleys.  A great day.  A bad day.

You Are All I Need
A song, sent by a friend, right when needed.

I Found My Spring Wardrobe
Stupid tumor.com –Ha!

When I Leave
A song by JJ Heller

 

March 2011
Being Held
A breakdown.  Hard days.  Weary from radiation.

Laura Story “Blessing”
A song & starting Tamoxifen.

Last Radiation Treatment
Not quite ready to celebrate

 

April 2011
It’s Not Too Late
A song, reflections, and the death of a friend.

What’s Next On My Cancer Journey
A bone scan, & plans for another reconstruction surgery.

I Am Romanced
Spring in my step

Scan Results
Good news, but a scary reaction.

Psalm 91
A chance meeting with a friend.  Her perfect words.

Sadness
Lingering fatigue & medication side effects.

 

May 2011
A Reminder to Breathe
A song from Laminate

Healing from Surgery
A link to details

The Healing
Hair is growing!  My thoughts on the healing process

Reading and Relaxing
Surprised by after treatment, lingering fatigue

A Lump and a Biopsy
Just when things were starting to feel normal again..

 

June 2011
One Thousand Gifts
Thankfulness in Cancer

 

July 2011
One Thousand Gifts
A Vacation.  Celebration.

Happy Anniversary, Husband!
Celebrating who my man was for me during this hard year.

 

August 2011
A “TMI” Health Update
Cysts and a sliding implant

I Hate Cancer
A bit of a pity party, but real.

Reflecting On Cancer
One year since diagnosis.  My exact thoughts when I got that dreaded call.

 

September 2011
You Are
A song that lifted my heart

A Health Update
Another TMI post.  Too many female parts are talked about!

Surgery Tomorrow
To fix my sliding implant

An Update
My thoughts when waking up from surgery

Living Like I’m Dying
A song, & a test to explore stomach pain

 

October 2011
Health Update
Stomach test results.

 

November 2011
A Health Update & A Confession
Another lump & scans.

 

December 2011
A Health Update
A lymph node to be watched, & words of love for my Oncologist

Chest MRI
Thoughts in my brain during an MRI

 

January 2012
What a Difference a Year Makes
A picture says it all

 

Not As I Pictured
Relating to another survivor

One Thousand Gifts
She is a gift cancer brought to me, all the way from Cali!

 

February 2012
Strong But Scared

Her story is my story, but it is not, but it could be.

A Glimpse of Life A Year Ago
Finding leftovers of life fighting

 

March 2012

Decluttering & Finding Chemo Memories

How words helped me

Pain, Perspective, & a Spot On My Kidney

Getting quite good at waiting.

 

April 2012

A Health Update
“Yippee Do Da Hallelujah!”

 

May 2012

Honestly
My body is in remission, but my soul is still sick

Thank You, Mom
She was there.

 

July 2012
A Health Update-It Is No Coincidence
3 Month Checkup, A Thickening, & Another MRI

Waiting And An MRI Scheduled
Finally!

MRI Results
Another MRI experience, another negative result. So thankful!

 

August 2012
Good To Be Alive
It really is!

 

September 2012
I Am Weak
Medication side effects

 

October 2012
Struggling Well & A Health Update
Oncologist visit.  Xray of a bump on my clavicle bone

Music Speaks When I Can’t Find My Words
A song, memories, and a thank you to my caregiver heart friend.

 

March 2013
6 Month Checkup
She wants to scan due to weird symptoms + it has been a year!

Potassium Deficiency & Scan Time
Such strange symptoms, getting worse.

Magnesium Deficiency

Scan results!

 

August 2013
I Get To Live Longer, My Heart Soars, & God Kisses

 

October 2013
I’m Getting New Implants and More Reconstruction
Details on why

Surgery Day
A quick greeting


2 Surgeries In A Week? Oh My!
A failed expander and one of the hardest weeks.

Needles The Size Of Coffee Stirrirs

Starting Goserelin / Zoladex Shots

 

November 2013

Fills and Infection

another setback on the way? Giving thanks in the unknown.

 

December 2013Fightning Infection — Christmas countdown & fighting infection.

 


Breast Reconstruction Results — A doctor’s gamble, and being part of the 10%.

Zoladex Side Effects –A 2 Week Journal — Feeling Hot! + Armidex update.

 

January 2014

He Is Making Me— chest pains and pouting.

 

February 2014

Figuring Out What New Means — wondering about ongoing symptoms.

 

March 2014
Blood Test Results — relief + dealing with new med side effects.

 

May 2015

A Health Update — nausea & possible surgery

Time For Scans — & the best of girlfriends

Health Is A Gift — Scan results

 

October 2015

Trust — finding normal

Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Spiritual

For When You Are Weak

 I vividly remember the day I write about below.  I was an emotional, hormonal mess, having just started a hormone therapy drug for cancer and also just going off a medication that I took for anxiety that was not compatible with the new cancer med.  

I read the journal entry today, 3 years later, and I marvel at how good God is.  For so many reasons, but especially because I am alive almost 4 years after diagnosis, and I have clearly seen Him grow me and continue to show me that He is such a sweet, good God.  

He tells us in the Bible to look back and ‘remember His works.’  I do this often, especially when life feels so very hard and out control. These are the times I need to remember to give Him my worries and concerns.  I remember that He has brought me and my family through so much, and I remember that no matter how hard life gets, that He promises to finish the work He has started.  

I love spring.  I love going to nurseries & choosing beautiful flowers to plant.  I tease the roots apart & think about the strong roots He has been faithful to grow in me.  I remember that they are there, I remember that my Gardener will be faithful in watering, nourishing & providing light for me.  I am taken care of and safe, which makes me brave & beautiful, able to turn my face to the Son & dance.

————

April 2011 Cancer Journal Entry

Yesterday was NOT a good day.  One of my hardest since diagnosis.  For sure the most humbling.

It went like this:

Husband leaves for work~ ~I’m feeling weak and tired, not myself~ daughter wants to wear summer 
clothes on a 50 degree day~I say no~she refuses to get dressed~ I have a major meltdown and act 
more childish than she~ the intensity of my meltdown- words and actions- cause older daughter to 
fear and call Dad~ he leaves work ministry meeting to come rescue the situation~ he takes kids to 
school (I thought)~ I drive to nowhere trying to make sense of my meltdown/emotions~a text from 
Kathy, my mother-in-law, telling me she is praying causes me to find a destination and calm~school 
calls and says 2 daughters are marked absent~ I call Husband and melt when he tells me he has
them, his love for them and me overwhelms~ I feel extreme shame that they were so upset they did 
not go back to school~ I spend 4 hours in Village Inn with my Bible and journal, trying to work 
through static and shame~ I shop for clothes, “maybe clothes meltdowns won’t happen if she had 
some decent ones”…a band aid.~I grocery shop at Trader Joes and bump into a divine appointment 
named Anna, who is there only to buy me flowers and my girls some penguin gummies~ why? the 
interrupted meeting was at her house that morning, the one my husband brought two sad girls back to  
we scoot to the corner in Trader Joes, she sheds tears for me-what love~ I find out later she had 
already showered love on my girls by providing a movie and snacks so the meeting could go on ~  
when home, I start to meltdown a second time, I want to crawl in a hole, when I realize so many 
know of my shame~husband reminds me it is three women who know me, love me and care~he also 
reminds me I already tell the world my junk online:)~I sit online and I am overwhelmed by your 
guestbook comment love~I am overwhelmed even more when I see what is in my inbox, confessions 
 of meltdowns from some of YOU~I read your confession words, I am in awe. I feel in very good 
company, those I admire most have been refined in the fire, found their way out of shame~I go to bed, 

ready for new mercies.

This is all so humbling… embarrassing.
I have said 3 times today I just want to get over myself so I can LIVE!  Then I remember that I AM living, that this IS life, and I am in the process of figuring out how to “live fully, where planted.”

I’ve got to figure out how to stop wishing for a different pot, and see that the one I am growing roots into is the perfect one, handmade by HIM for me.

Thank you for having such compassionate eyes for me and my potting mess.

April 2011
—————

Are you feeling weak?  Are you in the middle of a storm? 

Be encouraged.

“Your weakness is not a deterrent to being filled with My Spirit; on the contrary, it provides an opportunity for My Power to shine forth more brightly.” –Jesus Calling 

Lift your head dear one.  Let His light shine on you….in no time you will be growing & dancing.

ABOUT AMY

 

FEELING SOME NOSTALGIA? ME, TOO.

You want to pursue simple, slow, intentional living, but life can be fast-paced and chaotic.

You find yourself a bit nostalgic and wishing for the simplistic living of the good ol’ days, but are confused about where to start, what is best for you, or how to create good habits in this ever-moving, modern-day world.

 

Breast Cancer Survivor

 

NEW NOSTALGIA

I understand and can help. I’m a modern-day woman with an old soul, and life has given me many lessons on how to pursue a health-filled, meaningful life in a purposeful way.

I’d like to say these lessons have matured me–like a fine wine–or at least taught me how to stop, sip and savor life moments, even the ‘not-so-fine’ moments that it can bring.

You don’t have to live everyday overwhelmed, unfocused, and juggling all the things.

It is possible to create space for sitting and simply breathing. Even when life is spinning and it seems impossible to slow down, you can embrace a healthy way of thinking and breathe steady, even in the spiral.

You can create habits and systems and focus in and get stuff done, with the intent of being purposeful in this one life we have the privilege of living.

 

 

ABOUT AMY

I’m Amy, wife to Todd and mom of three teen girls from the Midwest. I’ve been blogging since 2009 about purposeful and healthful living in every area – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I’m also a 2-time cancer survivor, so my passion for purposeful living comes from the unique perspective and a knowing of what it takes to live while facing mortality.

In 2010, was giving a 50/50 chance of being alive in 10 years.  It is no fun living with a statistic hanging over your head, but boy can the realization of how precious life is force one to try to make the most of every moment.

Learning how to live well is a journey, and I still don’t have it figured out as you will see as you read further into New Nostalgia. I strive to write authentically and will share the good and the bad with you.

What I HAVE figured out are many tips, tricks, and tools for pursuing an intentional, meaningful life; and will share what I have learned and what I am learning with you!

My heart’s desire is that you might find something to help you live well, too.

Let’s sip slowly together (whether it is coffee, honey ginger tea or a bit of wine), pursue our best health, and intentionally keep choosing that which brings purpose in this life.

 

Avocado-Pomegranate-Egg-Muffin

 

ABOUT NEW NOSTALGIA

Some examples of what you will find on the blog:

 

SIMPLE AND HEALTHFUL RECIPES

Avocado Pomegranate Egg Muffin

30 Minute Sloppy Joes

Oven Scrambled Eggs

No Bake Clean Eating Peanut Butter Chocolate Crispy Bars

 

How to Declutter When Overwhelmed

 

TIPS FOR SLOW PURPOSEFUL LIVING

18 Things You Need To Throw Away

Morning Pages – A Journaling Technique Anyone Can Do

How To Declutter When Overwhelmed

Simple Tips, Tricks & Routines for Keeping Your Car Clean

 

 

BEAUTY INSIDE AND OUT

DIY Pedicure Routine

When Grief Hits

6 Tried & True Beauty Treatments To Do at Home 

How To Get Beachy Waves With A Curling Wand

Enter Into Others’ Suffering

 

Breast Cancer

 

My JOURNEY WITH CANCER AND MENTAL HEALTH

My Cancer Story

Severe Anxiety Symptoms

How To Find Relief From Severe Anxiety

My Cancer World and Be The Match

7 Years Surviving Cancer

 

Home goals - Creating systems for effortless homemakeing

 

MAKING A HOME

Everyday Home Goals  & Chores

Getting started with the Instant Pot

Why It’s OK To Let Your Teenager Have a Messy Room

Hot Spots in Our Kitchen

DIY Daily Sink Scrub

 

ANTI-PROCRASTINATION

My anti-procrastination updates are where I share practical ways I live intentionally. I do not want to procrastinate on the things that are most important to me, and these updates share all the small ways I live with purpose each day–from what I listen to and read to what I purchase and meals that I make for my family.

Basically, I share all the things with hopes that some of the things inspire YOU!

 

DONT’ MISS A POST!

You can sign up for my list to get weekly blog posts sent right to your email as well as hearing first about any big news (like a shop launch! {::wink wink::}

 

BONUS:

I also love having easy access to tools that can provide a simple way to be purposeful in forming good habits. You can join the list to receive my 2 freebies (click on each one to opt-in and have it sent to your inbox.)

9 Simple & Healthy Breakfast Cards

Keeping a Clean Home Printable

YOU CAN ALSO FIND ME HERE:

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On Facebook? Me too! Let’s be friends.

Instagram your jam? I love it too! See behind the scenes of my day on my Instagram Stories. 

 

Use these hashtags and tag me to show me how YOU  are living intentionally!

#NNThankful  #AmyNewNostalgia #NNPurposefulLiving

 

FAMILY/ Leaving A Legacy/ Parenting/ Spiritual

My 3 Girls Minus Their Curls & True Beauty

{2009}
I love #throwbackthursdays.  It is so great to reminisce and look back at what a beautiful life I have been blessed with and just how precious every moment has been.
This photo was taken in the late summer of 2009, right after I gave my girls their back-to-school haircuts and took the time to straighten out their curls.  We even put fun chunky low-lights in Teagan’s hair that day, which was a big, fun deal to her at age 10!
Little did we know that their Mommy would also be ‘minus her curls’  and would get quite the haircut exactly a year later, in late summer 2010.  Chemotherapy is not so kind in giving the best of haircuts, but it did teach me that hair is just hair, change is ok, and outward beauty is shown in so many different ways, and comes from the inside.
My 3 lovelies are now 11, 13 & 14.
They are key ages, building their identity and embracing who God made them to be. I watch their beautiful lives and their struggle to resist the message this world gives them that beauty is all-important. It bombards them, in their face everywhere they turn.  This society they are growing up in is so messed up, unfair, and full of lies in defining true beauty.  Let us speak truth just as loud!

To my 3 sweet lovelies:

I swoon every time I look at you. You are all 3 so very beautiful inside and out.
Oh how I want you to see this!

If only I could hold up mirror that only allowed you to see yourself how God sees you. He sees you through the filter of His Son’s sacrifice.  No flaws, pure, washed, lovely, made in His image.  His amazing creation, one that He smiles at & rejoices over!

In the above verse, Proverbs 31:30, it talks about the woman who fears the Lord is the woman who is to be praised for her true beauty.

This fear is not:

“dreadful anxiety in which someone is frightened by the clear and present danger that is represented by another person. It’s not the kind of fear that a slave would have at the hands of a malicious master who would come with the whip and torment the slave. Servile refers to a posture of servitude toward a malevolent owner.”

Rather, it is a fear that:

refers to the fear that a child has for his father… a child who has tremendous respect and love for his father or mother and who dearly wants to please them. He has a fear or an anxiety of offending the one he loves, not because he’s afraid of torture or even of punishment, but rather because he’s afraid of displeasing the one who is, in that child’s world, the source of security and love. {source}

God is your security.  He is pure and true love.  He only wants what is best for you and has a plan for you that is beyond what you can imagine!  He wants to smother you with gifts & moments of pure delight, and give you a peace that is hard to comprehend until you experience it.

This is what I want you to fear…fear missing out on your Creator’s best for you!  Draw close to Him and get to know Him so well that you will KNOW how beautiful and lovely He is, and how beautiful and lovely YOU are.

We are girls and it is a delight to straighten curls or make them bounce.  It is much fun to polish nails and make a skirt float as we twirl.  There is freedom in these things and so much girly fun!

But…when those fun things are used to cover up pain or dislike for ourselves, there is no longer fun freedom.

When you look at your own physical blemishes and scars, may it remind you of how Jesus has scars, and those scars are what frees us from any shame and guilt that we place on ourselves.  When you see your imperfections, remember who made you and Who delights in you, exactly how you are, no matter what.

Run from shame.  Shut down the negative and condemning thoughts. Run from accusation, for we know who the Accuser is.  Flee and don’t listen.

Turn your ear to only truth.  Listen close.  Replace lies with truth. Believe.  Choose to fear God –a healthy fear. Not one that looks for approval, but one who knows the most Famous One fully approves!  Allow this knowledge to gently and continuously push you toward true beauty.

Run.
Flee.
Look Up.
Healthy Fear.
Listen.
Find Freedom.
Straighten or Bounce a Curl.
Do a Twirl.
I Love You More’n,
Mom
—————
Leaving a Legacy
FAMILY

Praying During My Drive To Work – Purposeful Living

praying on my drive to work

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.


If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.


 

 

Correct Priority

 

Priority #1 – Spiritual Health

 

Goal Setting & Reflection Date

November 2012

 

Goal

Deepen my prayer life by turning off the radio and praying during my ten-minute drive to work in the morning.  Focus on specific elements of prayer:

 

Praise

Confession

Waiting

Petition – Myself 

Intercession – Others 

Thanksgiving   

 

Goal Status

Completed   

 

 

Thoughts – UPDATED 

I am happy to report I have been faithful since setting this goal in praying each morning during my ten-minute drive to work.  

 

It has been a rich time with God and a great way to start my morning.  

 

Especially rewarding has been spending time in confession.  Being able to admit my failures and know that He both forgives me and provides a path to change feels like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders each day.    

 

Also rewarding has been time spent in personal petition.  There are some big things going on in my life right now which can easily lead to anxiety and worry.  Being able to offer these things to God knowing that I can trust Him frees me from the burdens of life.  

 

 

 

Thoughts – ORIGINAL

For years when I was teaching, I used my morning drive to school to pray.  But since moving to Lincoln and starting a new job a few years ago I have gotten away from this.  My prayer life has not been nearly as consistent or rich as it used to be.  Praying in the car is a great use of time and is something I need to bring back.  

\

 

 

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

 

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

 

    

Uncategorized

My Cancer Story

my cancer story
If you look to your left, in my sidebar I have put a button to this post.  I have put all my cancer related posts onto this page, to make it easier for anyone who might be newly diagnosed and looking to read about someone whose story also involves cancer.  If you know anyone who is walking this road, please  share this post with them.  When I was first diagnosed, I found so much comfort in reading about those who have gone before me and came through. 
+++
Here is how my cancer story began.  My story entwined with your story, as you all walked with me, touched my heart and lifted my head.

THANK YOU.
a cancer journey
{keep scrolling for all cancer story links}


August 2010
As some of you might have noticed, I have not posted in awhile. 

I’ve been a bit busy— getting diagnosed with breast cancer.
How’s that for getting to the point?  
I want you to all know that I am ready to fight this thing.  I have so many who love me, and I have so much to fight for.  The last few days have been surreal and quite honestly, some of the hardest of my life.  I’ve already learned so much about myself, life, and love.  I know this cancer thing is going to be a great teacher in my life.  I’ve decided to allow it to do just that, but at the same time, will be doing everything in my power to kick it the heck outta here.

The tumor is quite large, 4 centimeters. {*update…MRI showed it to be 6 centimeters}  There may be lymph nodes involved, we are still in the initial testing phase.  I had a CT scan and a bone scan today, the CT scan did not show any other areas.  Praise God!  I will get bone scan reports on Tuesday.  Next week will be a busy week of MRI, PET scan and meeting with my Surgeon, then Oncologist.  We will know the exact stage the cancer is in and the plan of action by next Thursday.  I’ve been told by my doctor to be ready for aggressive treatment, which she guesses will include chemotherapy first, to shrink the tumor, then surgery.

I’ve had many different moments the last few days.  I have felt intense fear and anxiety to the point of physical sickness, but also moments of sweet peace and thankfulness.  It’s quite a roller coaster, a scary one that quite frankly I would really like to get off of.

We told my three girls tonight (ages 11, 9 & 7).  They were so very sweet. We cried together, they came to us for hugs, then they held each other. They asked lots of questions.  We were very honest with them and will continue to be.  They took it in a much more calm manner than what I expected, which was nice.  They are processing and will continue to do so.  We spent the last 10 minutes of our family meeting dreaming up a Halloween costume for their bald mama! The best we came of with was  twins…my husband is bald.  🙂

This blog has always just been about my life.  If we make a craft, I share it.  A new recipe, I write about it.  Thoughts in my head…out they come down onto a post.  I really don’t know any other way to blog other than just share my life, so this blog is about to have a new subject added to it.  Cancer is life right now, it is pretty much an all consuming fight, so I ask you to bear with me as I write and fight.  I won’t be able to post as often, and the subject matter will be pretty real as I really don’t know how else to be.  Thank you so much for being such great readers and such an encouraging community.  I will let you as much as possible how I am doing.

Before I sign off, I’d like to tell you that the ONLY way I am getting through any of this is by the help of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  He is my everything. He is faithful. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  I will praise His name no matter what happens. He has so clearly told me that He is with me, and will never leave me or forsake me.



{A Video I Made For My Husband.  A Year Of Cancer}

August 2010
Details of how I found the lump 
September 2010

A poem that expressed my heart

My Caring Bridge Site

Link to site, port surgery & fluid on my heart
Lost freedom, frustration & love from my Fathers.
Thoughts & pictures
2 of my favorites that helped get me though
Counting the gifts even through cancer
My beginning steps 
The amazing stories begin..
The hair starts to go.
The whole saga..
October 2010
My Bro-In-Law Rockin’ The Bald Look With Me
Baldness support and preparing for chemo #2

Processing Cancer
Thoughts of my mortality, & raw emotions.

Music On My Mind
How songs helped me cope

Getting Pain Checked Today
My spleen acts up

Learning To Dance
One of my most heart felt writings.  It was healing to write.

Hope
A song and some important thoughts on hope.

Chemo Round 3
Preparing and a song that kept me happy

One Thousand Gifts
Counting the gifts in the midst of cancer

Shine
Another song that spoke deeply to me

November 2010
Chemo Side Effects
A list of side effects and what chemo patients consider a good day.

A Rambling Update On My Health
Lymph nodes, plastic surgeons, surgery & radiation plans.

December 2010
My Continued Journey With Cancer
Meeting with my surgeon, preparing for mastectomy.

Peace
Finding it through song.

Breast Redo’s & Nipple Tattoos?
Awareness, Amy style 🙂

Am I Really Cancer Free??
A short lived freedom from worry.

Do Not Fear
A song and my thoughts

New Test Results Show Cancer
This news was almost as hard as original diagnosis.  Rough.

Dancing With My Husband In Minefields
His knee surgery, my mastectomy.  He is my hands, I am his feet.  Dancing!

A Detailed, Disheartening Update
One of my lowest times in my cancer journey.

January 2011
Cancer Update: Pathology Results
An update written by my husband.  His first post ever on the blog.

He Is Lifting My Head
An peace and joy that passes understanding.

Help In Time Of Need
A past poem I wrote, 10 months before diagnosis, asking to be broken then healed.

Riding The Twists and Turns
Stuck in the “waiting for test results” line.

My Oncology Appointment Today
“Reading about my insides being studied on the outside freaks me out”

No More Chemo and a Plan Of Action
Ductal diagnosis changed to Lobular.  Lots to process!

Cancer Battle Update
“L” is for lymph, not loser!

Cancer Journey Update
A lump.  Another surgery. Radiation postponed.

February 2011
Cancer Update
Surgery. A blown I.V. & God’s amazing Words to me.

A Real & Healing Transfusion
Words of mine written before needles, pokes and tubes were part of my life.

2 Cancer Journal Entries
Peaks & Valleys.  A great day.  A bad day.

You Are All I Need
A song, sent by a friend, right when needed.

I Found My Spring Wardrobe
Stupid tumor.com –Ha!

When I Leave
A song by JJ Heller

March 2011
Being Held
A breakdown.  Hard days.  Weary from radiation.

Laura Story “Blessing”
A song & starting Tamoxifen.

Last Radiation Treatment
Not quite ready to celebrate

April 2011
It’s Not Too Late
A song, reflections, and the death of a friend.

What’s Next On My Cancer Journey
A bone scan, & plans for another reconstruction surgery.

I Am Romanced
Spring in my step

Scan Results
Good news, but a scary reaction.

Psalm 91
A chance meeting with a friend.  Her perfect words.

Sadness
Lingering fatigue & medication side effects.

May 2011
A Reminder to Breathe
A song from Laminate

Healing from Surgery
A link to details

The Healing
Hair is growing!  My thoughts on the healing process

Reading and Relaxing
Surprised by after treatment, lingering fatigue

A Lump and a Biopsy
Just when things were starting to feel normal again..

June 2011
One Thousand Gifts
Thankfulness in Cancer

July 2011
One Thousand Gifts
A Vacation.  Celebration.

Happy Anniversary, Husband!
Celebrating who my man was for me during this hard year.

August 2011
A “TMI” Health Update
Cysts and a sliding implant

I Hate Cancer
A bit of a pity party, but real.

Reflecting On Cancer
One year since diagnosis.  My exact thoughts when I got that dreaded call.

September 2011
You Are
A song that lifted my heart

A Health Update
Another TMI post.  Too many female parts are talked about!

Surgery Tomorrow
To fix my sliding implant

An Update
My thoughts when waking up from surgery

Living Like I’m Dying
A song, & a test to explore stomach pain

October 2011
Health Update
Stomach test results.

November 2011
A Health Update & A Confession
Another lump & scans.

December 2011
A Health Update
A lymph node to be watched, & words of love for my Oncologist

Chest MRI
Thoughts in my brain during an MRI

January 2012
What a Difference a Year Makes
A picture says it all

cancer journey

Not As I Pictured
Relating to another survivor

One Thousand Gifts
She is a gift cancer brought to me, all the way from Cali!

February 2012
Strong But Scared
Her story is my story, but it is not, but it could be.

A Glimpse of Life A Year Ago
Finding leftovers of life fighting

March 2012
Decluttering & Finding Chemo Memories
How words helped me

Pain, Perspective, & a Spot On My Kidney
Getting quite good at waiting.

April 2012
A Health Update
“Yippee Do Da Hallelujah!”

May 2012
Honestly
My body is in remission, but my soul is still sick

Thank You, Mom
She was there.

July 2012
A Health Update-It Is No Coincidence
3 Month Checkup, A Thickening, & Another MRI

Waiting And An MRI Scheduled
Finally!

MRI Results
Another MRI experience, another negative result. So thankful!

August 2012
Good To Be Alive
It really is!

September 2012
I Am Weak
Medication side effects

October 2012
Struggling Well & A Health Update
Oncologist visit.  Xray of a bump on my clavicle bone

Music Speaks When I Can’t Find My Words
A song, memories, and a thank you to my caregiver heart friend.

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