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Cancer Journey/ Counting Gifts/ FAMILY/ HEALTH/ Love/ Spiritual

PET Scans, Cancer, & Looking At The Insides

Woman in PET scan
I just learned that my dear friend Karen’s PET scan came back clear.  Oh how I am rejoicing!  Karen blogs over at I Choose Hope and if you don’t know her story, you are missing out.

  Karen and I met through this blog while we were both in treatment for cancer.  She is a California girl, and came all the way to Nebraska to meet me.  Since then our hearts have been bonded, never to let go.  I have visited her in Cali and she has been here twice.  I have fallen hard for her family and she has done the same with mine.  

Girls receiving gifts, lotion and smoothies
{Karen visiting, loving on my girls, and bringing gifts}

Hearing that Karen is NED (no evidence of disease) is some of the best news I have ever received.  You see, I worry about her.  She had triple negative breast cancer, which is a type of breast cancer that is aggressive and there is not as many treatment options for.  Not only that, but it has shown her just how aggressive it can be.  We finished treatment about the same time, but, my dear friend ended up having to get double treatment.  After reading a post here at New Nostalgia about survivors checking lymph nodes, she reached under her arm and found an almond shaped lump.  Her cancer was back already.  She went on a little get away with her husband to process this awful news, and ended up getting in a car accident there.  She had to learn how to walk again before starting another tough regimen of cancer treatment.  She is the strongest woman I know, both inside and out.

Women in a photo booth
{Silliness at a retreat we both attended in the spring}
Black and white photo of two women at a retreat
{She supported me through my first speaking engagement.  Her calm presence melted my nerves}
Shadow of a woman

 Waiting this last week, holding my breath with her as she prepared to know what was on the inside, reminded me of this post I wrote early in my battle with cancer.  I thought I would share it with you again.

So many body images taken
Vulnerable insides exposed
Ultrasound
X-rays
Cat scan
Bone scan
Pet scan
MRI
Images show so many shades of grey,
Sliced shapes of organs..
Tell me they are ok?
Images of this body of mine
Fragile with disease yet so strong
My brain works, fingers move
Digestion. Menstruation.
Walking. Talking. Fine.
But not.
Images show a cluster of cells that don’t belong
Cells that have the ability to meander
To go with the flow and end up where they may.  
They multiply and make friends,
Their celebrating clusters destroy my tissues.
So we take images..
We peer into the insides
Looking for the “don’t belong’s”
I lay on display, cold and in dismay,
Enveloped in large, rotating tubes
Small tubes inject a solution 
So we can find a solution
Tubes rotate
I lay and pray
For what my 3 girls will learn
At the end of this day.
The same 3 girls
Look at their own body image
So many times I’ve whispered,
my lovelies, its what’s on the inside that matters
This is one moment when I wish that were not true.

I peer deeper,
I see Him in whose Image I am made.
I find the solution.

———
Thank you Lord, for keeping my friend safe and NED.  Thank you for being close and with us, in control, always bringing hope no matter what our insides are feeling or showing.  Thank you for ALWAYS being the solution.  Amen.

Karen in a red scarf
Get to know my friend Karen
FAMILY

Physical Health Report 2013 – Purposeful Living

Todd Bowman Purposeful Living


These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.


If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.



Correct Priority

Priority #7 – Physical Health


Man in coffee shop

Physical Health 2013 – Age 43  

This is my annual physical health report for 2013.  This report included both reflection and a rating on how I think I’m doing in each core area of physical health.  Physical health includes the components listed below.  

Weight
Nutrition
Sleep
Aerobic Conditioning
Strength Training

Weight – 9 ½ out of 10  
I am 5’ 7” (yes, I’m short) and for the past three years I have maintained an almost ideal weight of 150 pounds.  This is the area of physical health where I am currently strongest.  It is also an area where I am somewhat proud because I had to lose a bit of weight to get here.  

Three years ago following several Christmas celebrations full of good food I stepped on the scale and was in for a shock.  

For several years I told myself that as long as I stayed below 170 pound I was okay with that.  The scale was now reading 173.  I had crossed a threshold of what I considered acceptable and had entered a place where I knew I was considerably overweight.  

I read the book You On A Diet by Dr. Oz which was recommended to me by my wife.  The primary take away for me from that book was that fiber is my friend.  Foods high in fiber are best at curbing hunger.  

Over the next two months I went on a crash diet and lost 25 pounds.  Slim Fast shakes were my best friend during this time.    

The second take away for me from that book was to find healthy foods I liked and eat them every day – make my meals automatic.  

After ending my crash diet I revamped the foods I eat every day.  Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries with a bit of yogurt became my staple food up through dinner.  Then for dinner Amy always makes something healthy.  

Eating foods high in fiber has enabled me to eat far less food.  This has allowed me to maintain my weight loss.  

Sleep – 9 out of 10
I get about seven hours of sleep at night.  I think that is pretty good and seems right for my body.  If I sleep longer than eight hours it throws me off and I end up not being able to sleep at all the following night.  

Nutrition – 6 ½ out of 10
The Good
I eat fairly healthy – most days.  On a normal day I eat blueberries, strawberries, black berries, organic multi-grain hot cereal, vegetable soups, and bean soups.  

In addition, my wonderful wife cooks healthy vegan meals most evenings for dinner.  She is a fantastic cook and I thoroughly enjoy her meals.

Even more important are the foods I avoid on a normal day.  I avoid meat and sweets.  

The problem is not every day is a normal day.  

I have a very strange nutrition plan.  I eat healthy 4-5 days a week.  I eat unhealthy 2-3 days a week.

On normal days when I try to eat healthy I could still do much better.  I need to add more fruits, vegetables, and beans to my diet.  

And more important I need to eat healthy 6-7 days a week rather than 4-5.  This will be quite a challenge.  I really like my junk food as you will read about below.   

The Bad
As I described above, there are 2-3 days each week when I eat unhealthy.

And when I say unhealthy I mean unhealthy.  I really love junk food – chips, candy, ice cream, cookies.  I really, really love junk food.  And on a day where I have given myself the freedom to not eat healthy, I eat whatever I want.

I also drink about five 2-liters of diet soda a week.  

It has worked for me.  My primary goal when it comes to food has been to maintain an ideal weight.  This eating plan has enabled me to do that.  

A secondary goal has been to improve my nutrition.  And I have done that as well – at least to an extent.  Most days I eat relatively healthy foods.  I just don’t do it every day.

This drives Amy nuts.   

Aerobic Conditioning – 6 ½ out of 10
I walk at least 20 minutes nearly every day.  It is something I look forward to.  I own a treadmill and walk while watching my favorite television shows or movies.  I even purchased a nice pair of wireless headphones in order to get great sound while not bothering the rest of the family by turning up the television full blast.

To improve my cardio at least somewhat while walking I crank the incline on the treadmill as high as it will go.

I also walk a lot outside.

Studies show walking provides many of the same benefits to the heart as running.  And I burn around 100 calories a day just through purposeful walking which helps me maintain my weight.

The reason I give myself an “Okay” instead of “Good” in aerobic conditioning is because I am currently finding it hard to do more strenuous exercise that gets my heart rate up.  

I had knee surgery about a year ago and have not been able to fully straighten my left leg ever since.  Trying to run when a leg won’t fully straighten is potentially dangerous.  I could easily further damage my knee.

But I really need to figure out how to do strenuous aerobic conditioning for 20 minutes at least three days a week to push this area into the “Good” category.  

Strength Training – 0 out of 10
I have not lifted weights or done any strength training since college nearly twenty years ago.  There is significant room for improvement in this area.


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Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1


Purposeful Living Outline


FAMILY/ Kids/Family/ Love/ Marriage

How A Romance Novel Is Changing My Marriage

Woman kissing man on the cheek

I am not one for romance novels.  It has/had been years since I had read one.  Recently I started reading a book that would fall under this category–and no, I am not gonna fess up to which book it is, because it really is not the type of reading I want to promote on this blog.  So..don’t ask me what book it was, because I’m not telling!

Although it is not a book that I’m going to fess up to reading, I have to share with you how it has changed my thinking and is making my marriage stronger.  God works in mysterious ways…huh?

The first and most important way that it is changing my marriage is that it has reminded me what a gift it is to be one with another human being on this earth.  Two become one in a marriage and I forget what an amazing & ROMANTIC thing this is.  I’m not just talking physical oneness, which in itself is amazing awesomeness, but emotional oneness.  AND, I’m not just talking about the good emotions, either.  What has hit me hard in my reading is how the main character learns the deepest and darkest of her lover and still loves him unconditionally.  It has me thinking how amazing it is to be loved by my husband, someone who knows all my quirks, sees my bedhead, knows my hardest struggles & chooses to love me anyway.  It has hit me hard what a gift it is to look at my man and realize I know him like no other knows him.  I get to experience the whole of him, and reassure him that I am here for the long run, and that despite any bad, I see so much more good & I love him wholly. THAT is romantic.  He is mine, all of him, the good and the bad.  I am his, all of me, the good and the bad. We are one.  

Another thing I have learned from this particular novel is how I need to lighten up.  I take things way too seriously sometimes.  I am sensitive and emotional.  I get my feelings hurt easily.  I am defensive.  It is who I am naturally, but that does not mean I have to give into my emotions.  I am learning that in order to embrace this gift of life I have been given, I need to grow up and not take everything so personally!  I have found an easy way to do this is to follow the main characters’ lead in the novel. In the tense moments she flirts.  Or makes a comment to lighten the mood.  This is not about avoiding issues that need to be talked about, but it is about learning when to just let go, be silly, choose to trust our love & the fact that I am still loved despite how I might feel in the moment.  I know my Todd is not going anywhere, I trust him completely, so why do I need to be defensive? It is a matter of protecting my heart. It comes down to fear and selfishness, both of which I need to let go.  Sure, opening up my heart and being vulnerable might be a bit scary, but the opposite is no way to live in a marriage.  I’d much rather flirt than fear.

Speaking of flirting…it really is fun. It is not something that should stop once you are comfortable and married.  If anything, it should be more!  This may take some “change-of-thought patterns”  Flirting may feel a bit immature, but really when done right in the right moments, it is quite the mature and even a sophisticated thing to do.  Oh wives, we have some power in this area.  Let’s use it to strengthen our marriages and make them fun and exciting!

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Some examples of flirting that I have done in my marriage lately:

~In the middle of an argument, I drop my defenses.  I smile, I remind that I love him, that he is my best friend, wink and suggest we use all this pent up emotion and energy in a more “productive” way.

~I’ve focused on the positive.  Instead of dwelling on little quirks that might drive me crazy about Todd, I focus in on my most favorite things about him.  The way he smells, (it is delish), his laugh, his deep voice on the phone, the way he snuggles our girls, his complex mind, his brain that is always thinking, the ways he puts our family first.

Drawing that says " I have a crush on your mind"

~Use the written word.  Social media, texting & chatting makes it quite easy to send some words to let him know I am thinking about him.  It takes seconds, and can set the tone for the whole day.  What is fun is that you can set whatever tone you want…sweet, silly, alluring.

But seriously lets make out pillow

~Be purposeful.  Keep him on my radar.  Be aware of him when he walks in the room.  Meet his eyes. Verbalize my attraction when I am feeling it, don’t just think it.  Be brave with my words, say things that might make his jaw drop.

~Follow through.  This one is important. Flirting is fun, but can be torture for a husband if there is no follow through.  You know what I mean?

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Ring that spells out "love"

I’ve have been putting my flirting to good use, and I recently was thanked by my Love for being grace-filled and forgiving. He is noticing that I am more willing to put down defenses and choose to love.  What an amazing compliment.

Hearing this made me feel like a beautiful heroine with free-flowing hair blowing in wind, head tipped back and eyes closed..just like on the covers of those novels…

…ok, not really, but close.

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PS…I know marriage is not a walk in the park. I know women out there that need to be out of the marriages they are in because of how destructive they are, who have chosen to forgive to a fault. I know it is freakin’ hard sometimes.  Todd and I have had our very hard times and through counseling and lots of hard work we are more in love than ever.  Is it always easy?  No…we recently worked at really hard issue that took awhile to get through, and we all know growth can be painful…but boy, forgiveness is powerful…and so is flirting :).

Counting Gifts/ FAMILY/ Spiritual

He Knows What Fills Me

We recently took a trip to Branson, Mo.  My in-laws treat our family to a beautiful family vacation every 2 years.  This is a gift that is just…beyond.  The joy these trips bring & the memories with brothers, sisters, parents and cousins are absolutely priceless. I can’t explain the gratitude I feel for this time with family. 
I’m eager to share more of our family trip photos with you…here are a few to start.
Cup of coffee on picnic table

Large cabin in Branson
Plant life by lake in Branson MO

A lake in Branson, MO

Who am I that you are mindful of me?

So many blessings as far as the eye can see.

Your creation speaks to me.

Your open hand holds gifts & you whisper “Delight in them, my child… I love you.”

Gifts of birds singing.  Chirps, tweets, & caws all singing in harmony, yet each taking its turn.

Gifts of calm waters reflecting early morning light.  Gentle ripples coming towards, bringing your love.

Surrounded by trees, fresh wet with rain, limbs cracking adding to the chorus.

Baby deer stare, also mindful of me.  Your creation creatures.

This place of rest, a cabin holding so many I love.  My deep love grows even deeper for them, the gift of people, my family.

Little niece in a polka dot robe, another holding her polka dot blankie, sleepy just waking.

Cousins gather at the crack of dawn, ready to fish with Grandpa.  Cereal spoons clinking making their own song as children sit staring, trying to wake up.

 The noise leaves with Grandpa, parents left behind hold mugs of steaming strong coffee, a shared pot.

This gift of quiet shows how mindful you are of me.  You know what fills me.  You give me what I need and beyond.  You are the gift giver & your hands are full.  You offer, I receive.  I am grateful.

FAMILY/ Parenting

Goal Setting & Reflection | Children {Mental Health} | Purposeful Living Series

Todd Bowman with New Nostalgia


These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.


If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.




Goal Setting & Reflection-July 2013


Girl setting of fireworks on 4th of July
{Our Colsie, lighting off sssssnakes on the 4th Of July}


Correct Priority #5 – Children (Mental Health)  
Goal – July 2013
Identify important topics to share and/or discuss with my daughters on a regular basis.  

Thoughts
On a regular basis I will read something or learn something that I think would be valuable for my daughters to know, be aware of, or understand.  Then minutes later I forget about the topic never share it with my girls.

Rather than getting by on good intentions, I want to start keeping a list of these topics and then engage my girls in discussions about them on a regular basis.  

These topical discussions don’t have to be long.  They can be short, some just a few minutes.  

The inspiration for these topics can come from anywhere including Youtube videos, snippets from books or magazines, television or movie clips, etc.      


Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Purposeful Living Outline



Emotional Health/ FAMILY/ HOME/ Organizing/ Parenting/ Simplifying

Morning Routine For a Work at Home Mom

I’m a huge fan of Amy’s daily routine posts, and because of that have wanted to share my own morning routine with you all. It’s just me and the kiddo right now, and I’m very lucky that she’s so helpful in the mornings and understands the importance of getting everything ready to go!

6:00: Both alarms go off: mine in my room, and kiddo’s in hers.
6:01: I use the toilet and then go to the kitchen to drink a full glass of water. I read about this in French Women Don’t Get Fat. Not sure if it’s kept me from gaining any weight, but it can’t hurt.
Rock balancing

 

6:05-6:35: While my fashion-conscious ninth-grader does her bathroom routine, I roll out my yoga mat and perform the Five Essential Asanas. Kiddo’s going to get a full round of gym and soccer practice today, but I need to find ways to squeeze in my own exercises. These asanas are specifically designed to stretch the entire body, which is something I appreciate more and more every year. I get one full-length yoga class on Saturdays, but this quick daily practice is enough to keep me flexible and centered between sessions.
6:35-6:45: My turn in the bathroom. I don’t take very long. I have a wash-and-go pixie cut and have long learned that at my age, I look better with very little makeup. I tend to rock a moisturizing wrinkle cream with sunscreen and Retin-A, and just a bit of colored, flavored lip gloss. Yes, I am a grown woman who still buys Bonne Bell. Some things never change.
6:45-7:00: Breakfast time! It’s nearly always cereal and fruit. We save complicated breakfasts like pancakes and eggs for the weekend. Kiddo is trying to get me hooked on eating yogurt with my cereal, which is something she picked up while on a choir trip to London last year. I don’t like eating that much food in the morning, so I tend to stick to my usual skim milk. Cereal also means very few dishes: we clear up our bowls and spoons and put them straight into the dishwasher.
7:00-7:05: Time for us to grab our bags and go. I recently invested in a new briefcase to carry my laptop, client material and electronic chargers (one each for the laptop, smartphone and Kindle). Having a professional-looking briefcase helps me take myself seriously even during a long day of insane client requests.
7:05-7:30: We have to be in the car to make it to kiddo’s 7:30 high school start time. I am going to be so glad when she is old enough to drive herself, but at the same time I’m already worried – I’ve seen the research about teens and sleep, and how changing melatonin levels mean she won’t be fully awake until 9:00 or so. Even right now she falls asleep in the car at least two or three times a week – but carefully, so she doesn’t mess up her hair! 
Cup of coffee
 

7:30-7:45: After dropping kiddo off at the high school, it’s time for me to hit the coffee shop. My favorite local joint has comfortable chairs, super-fast wifi and the best cappuccino in town. I open my laptop, check my email and get ready to face my clients. Yes, I’m a “work at home” mom, but that doesn’t mean I have to do all my work from my house! 

As much as I wish my daughter had a later HS start time, part of me is really glad that I get to start my day so early. Since I need to be ready to pick her up at 3:00, it’s good that I get a full seven hours of work before it’s time to start the evening rush. Between soccer, church choir, play practice and homework, we’re on the go until at least 9:00 p.m. – but I’ll have to save our evening routine for another post!
———-
Christina Moore
Christina Moore is a freelance writer, and stay-at-home Mom in San Diego, CA. She is enjoys staying fit with weekly yoga sessions, running along the beach.
*consideration was received for the editing and publishing of this article
FAMILY/ Parenting

Charts, Chores Allowances & Behavior – Part 2 – Purposeful Living

Purposeful Living Series


These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.


If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority

Priority #5 – Children (Emotional Health)


Goal – March 2012
Invest in the emotional health of my children by revising our chart, chore, allowance, and behavior system.  Specifically this means:

  • Revising our list of morning, afternoon, and evening routines/chores.
  • Developing an easier system of connecting routines/chores to an allowance.  The system must be easy to record and monitor.
  • Developing effective and easy to implement consequences for misbehavior.   

Goal Status
Completed

DAILY ROUTINES

ORDER – Obedience – Kindness – Peace – Honesty = BOWMAN FAMILY BEHAVIOR PLAN


Our method for managing the behavior of our children is captured in five words.  

ORDER refers to Daily Routines (Charts), Chores, and Allowances.


Own System
There are many chart systems out there, but none of them connected charts to an allowance in the very specific way we wanted.  So we created our own chart, chore, and allowance system.  

Daily Routine Charts
A routine is something necessary, but simple, that is done nearly every day.  Routines typically take just a few minutes to complete.  If the activity takes several minutes, it may not be a routine, but rather a chore.  

A chart system is perfect for routines because instead of following your children around nagging them to do things like brush their teeth or make their bed, you can just tell them to go do their chart.  

A good chart system both teaches responsibility and makes a positive difference in keeping a home organized.  The expectation is they complete the entire chart correctly.  If they choose not to complete it properly, they receive a consequence.  

In our case, Amy & I create new charts as often as we feel we need to, usually at the beginning of each school year.  The routines are always changing based on the ages of our girls and based on our own experience of things we consider important.  

Below is a list of the routines found on our charts for morning, afternoon, and evening.  
Chore list

Morning Routines

Click here for an editable version of our Morning Routine chart

Allowance – Carried Over
Allowance – Upon Completion
No Screens
Breakfast
Clear Dishes
Vitamins
Dressed
PJ’s Away
Make Bed
Hair
Brush Teeth
Homework In Backpack
Backpack Ready
Lunch Box Ready
Shoes Ready
Coat Ready
Pick Up Personals
Allowance Total

Afternoon Routines

Click here for an editable version of our Afternoon Routine

Allowance – Carried Over
Allowance – Upon Completion
No Screens
Shoes In Basket
Backpack Emptied On Table
Backpack Hung Up
Lunch Bag Hung Up
Snack
Snack Cleaned Up
Allowance Total


Evening Routines

Click here for an editable version of our Evening Routine.

Allowance – Carried Over
Allowance – Upon Completion
No Screens
Snack
Pick Up Personals
PJ’s
Dirties In Hamper
Clean Clothes Hung Up
Brush/Floss
Clean Sink Area
Devotions
Chores
Allowance Total
   
Chore Chart Definitions
Allowance – Carried Over:  Our girls earn a small allowance each time they successfully complete a chart.  This box keeps a running total of the amount they have earned.  

Allowance – Upon Completion:  This box indicates how much they will earn upon successful completion of the chart.  

Allowance Total: Allowance–Carried Over + Allowance-Upon Completion = Allowance Total


Dining room area
Child using a board for chores
Here is the board we use.  It is in a very central location in our home and works really well.

We print out our charts, laminate them, and attach them to our white board with magnets.  They are not pictured above, but fit perfectly under the area where we list daily chores for out girls.

To learn how Amy put their names on the board, click here.

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Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Purposeful Living Outline


Additional Posts In This Series


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