
Participating in  5 Minute Fridays. 5 minutes to write about one word. Unedited.
This week’s word: OPEN.
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GO:
“Open your heart, open your hands, keep open to me, my Darling.”
My Savior woos.
This temptation to grip tight & close, to go inward–it is especially strong as of late.
My actions would match the pit in my stomach, tight & gripped.
I know He has plans and purpose, even in the struggle…especially in the struggle.
This physical body, this shell I live in…it can be such a complicated thing. Physical, emotional, spiritual. Â All entwined.
Yesterday I read the report of my physical body. A simple blood test brought rave reviews! High vitamin D levels, perfect blood levels, normal cholesterol. Blood pressure is nice and low. Oh, how I praise You! Â I get to live!
So here is my prayer. Â Lord, hear my cry!
Lord? Â These medications I take to keep this shell of mine free from that which would kill me?
I don’t like them. I’m thankful for them, but I don’t like them.
They make my stomach clench closed.
But here is the deal. Â I will remain.
I remain in you. Â You hold me and have me. Â Your hand is open, holding, cradling, full of the whole world and me.
I will remain in you. Â I will open to your plan. Â I will obey & humble & search and find.
I will walk, even stumble forward and will not give in to despair.
I will seek, I will find. You are here as You always have been, and always will be.
I will open.
STOP.
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As you can tell, I’m still struggling to find my center. Â I feel we are close to finding some answers to make the medications I take a bit more bearable emotionally. Â In a nutshell, the shot I talk about here and another medication that I take to sweep up every bit of estrogen and progesterone in my body seems to sweep up more than just hormone. Â It sweeps up my spark, too, and it has been the biggest of challenges.
We are searching and finding some answers, but it all takes time. Â In the meantime, I covet your prayers.
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Can you relate? Has depression put a lid on you? Has anxiety got your stomach in knots?
There are answers. Â Search for them. Fight for health. Â Do what it takes. Â Do not be afraid to reach out. Find a counselor. Find a trusted psychiatrist. Â It is worth it, you are worth it.
Some simple things you can do for yourself at home that might help?
~take a detox bath
~meditate on the Truth of God’s Word
~tell a trusted friend
~take vitamins and supplements
~exercise…even if just a short walk
~take melatonin for sleep (ask your doc first)
~wake a bit early for quiet time, especially if it is the only quiet you get in a day
~never lose hope