My friend, Duane Scott of “Scribing The Journey” shared a facebook status about a group he was going to be a part of, and I immediately wanted to be part of the group, too! The group is called “Read through the Bible in 2012” and I am giddy excited to be a part of it! It is a group of people, committing to read through the Bible in 2012. There are many suggestions of reading plans, and lots of encouragement already happening at this group!
I went to work trying to figure out a plan that would work best for me. I recently bought a Nook book reader, so I knew I would need to be able to read the Bible from it to be successful. I take it everywhere, and life provides many opportunities to pick it up and read–i.e. waiting in the car when picking up kids!
I was excited when I found the “One Year Chronological Bible” version. I love the idea of the Bible in chronological order. Those who have read this version commented on how it reads more like a story. One said that right after reading about David going to battle in one part of the Bible, you then get to read the Psalm he wrote of his thoughts and fears during that battle. Pretty cool.
When I think of the words, “Happy New Year,” I know that true happiness means knowing my Creator more. Resting in His plan for me. The grace and peace He brings, no matter what comes my way…that, my friends, is true happiness. What better way to find this than to read His Words?
_______________________________ Have you ever read through the Bible? Is it something that you would ever want to do? Is there a reading plan that you love?
I am so excited to introduce you to one of my favorite writers and people, Elaine Olsen of “Peace For The Journey.” I have never met her in person, but our hearts are entwined despite. We both were diagnosed with breast cancer in August of 2011. She was a gift to me, walked with me and is still by my side with her words. Her words got me through and lifted my head so many times during the fight. Her mouth speaks truth, the type that shoots straight to the heart. This post she wrote did exactly that, I am so thankful to have her words (despite her lack of voice, as you will see,}here at New Nostalgia!
{from Elaine}
My voice has been silenced in the last twenty-four hours. Literally. Sickness has claimed my vocal cords. This has never happened to me before, not completely in the way it has happened for me this time around.
My whispered shouts for the attention of others are met only by their silence. Not because they don’t care about me, but rather because they can’t hear me. Their listening isn’t prone to my whispering, so mostly… I’m ignored. Probably a relief to most of those in my household, but to a woman who’s used to being heard… a great frustration indeed. And I’m thinking… About my voice. About my words. About needing to be heard. About what I will say when I am, again, able to say. And I’m thinking… About quietness. About the value of forced silence. About going inward with my thoughts instead of outwardly displaying every single one of them. And I’m thinking… About God. About his voice. About his needing to be heard. About his willingness to keep company with silence… with his thoughts, instead of outwardly displaying every single one of them. And I’m thinking… About how very connected I feel to Him in all of this. About how my inability to speak amplifies the volume of God’s witness.
How many times has the Father whispered my name in the midst of my chaos, only to be ignored because of the noise surrounding my life? My hearing isn’t prone to his whispering. But in silence—in this period of fewer, personal words—I more clearly hear the phrases from heaven. Beautiful, peace-filled, stilled expressions of understanding from God’s heart. My ninth grade English teacher once wrote in my yearbook,“Elaine, if silence is golden you can forget it.”Apparently, I was destined for poverty. Thirty years ago, I hadn’t a clue what she’d meant, and I couldn’t have cared less. Today, I have a clue. Today I care more, exceedingly more. Today, silence really is golden, because silence has given me access to the whispers of home. And whenever that happens, friends, I’m the richest person alive. I’m so glad I know Jesus. I’m so glad he knows me. And I’m exceedingly glad for those moments when I am able to clearly hear his voice. What tender grace is mine as a daughter of the King! I pray that you know him, hear him, worship and celebrate him in the quiet, closing moments of 2011. I believe that God has something vital and important to whisper to each one of us. I’ll be anxious to hear from you in coming days. As always… Peace for the journey, Elaine is also author of the book: Peace for the Journey. You can learn more about this amazing guide book to peace below.
I have always loved this song, but it took on a special meaning for me last Christmas, as I was weak from finishing 4 rounds of chemotherapy, and knew a double mastectomy was coming my way right after Christmas. I found much comfort in this song, especially the chorus. I find myself continuing to cling to the words the last few days. My MRI was finally approved by insurance, and I will have it on Monday night, results a few days after.
I honestly don’t know what I would do without the hope of Heaven, and His comfort– His breath whispers to me– as I continue to face my own mortality. It is a place I don’t like being, but at the same time, it is a place where I have the opportunity to release myself completely to His plan, and to practice a deep trust. It is a place where I am able to practice what I proclaim, and a place where what I proclaim has become so very tangible and real. These are the gifts, ones I am beginning to think I would not trade, even for health.
For my heart is healing, which is so meaningful and life-giving. Far beyond physical healing. Of course I would love to stay physically healthy, but I now know deeply what matters. Would I have been able grasp this without the tangible fear of death? Would “I know, that I know, that I know,” without pain and suffering? I do not think so. Would I be able to “remember the works of the Lord” and who He became to me in these moments? The memories would not be so vivid, they would not “stick” so easily.
Would I know what it means to be “held together by the breath of Heaven?” Maybe, but I don’t think it would be as sweet, and I would not allow myself to be held as readily as I do now.
The breath of this God-child, this God who “became flesh and dwelt among us,” to bring hope & healing–this is why I celebrate, and this is why I love Christmas.
Well, I saw Dr. M today, my Oncologist. She is the most calming person! She walks in and brings her smile, knowledge and care with her, which I always appreciate.
She felt my lump area, and was able to push through it and find a 1/2 centimeter area that she is wondering about. It is in the same area that a lymph node was found in my upper chest, right under my old port incision. She wants to look into it further with a breast MRI next week. I have an appointment on Monday and will have results a few days after that. Even if it is just a lymph node, it is right in the path between where my old tumor was and positive nodes under my arm, so she wants to keep a close eye on it. She also said that usually you should not be able to feel lymph nodes, and this is the second time in a month that she has, so an MRI is the way to go.
{It snowed today! Snow boots rock!}
She still feels like the largeness and roundness of what I can see in that area is due to radiated tissue moving around and bunching. That was relieving, in that if we do find cancer, its not this large tumor growing out of me. I’d much rather be dealing with cancer in a lymph node than a secondary tumor. I breathed easier when I realized this.
I could feel the area roll under her fingers as she felt around and it was a small bit tender. It gave me the ebee-jeebies when she would do it. Blech.
My initial blood work came back perfect. All white and red cell counts are right on! I look really healthy on paper, and feel pretty healthy, so I have decided to stop worrying (as much as possible) and act like I am healthy!
{reading blood test results}
I am doing much better emotionally. I say this every time– but the minute I let you all know about any health concerns, I am blanketed in peace. I know this is your prayers for me and it really is amazing. You help remind me that God has been and is so close and has brought so many amazing things my way while dealing with this cancer crap. He knows what He is doing, so I can let go. Why do I so often forget this??
Lately, I have lost my grasp of center. So much of it has to do with how I am spending my time and what I am ingesting– and I’m not speaking food here. No recipes in this post!
Does this make sense?
The mind is powerful, and what we choose to think on, listen to, and read has way more impact on us than what we might think. I’ve become a bit sloppy when it comes to what I was allowing into my thoughts, mind etc. Maybe lazy is the word? Don’t get me wrong..a bit of mindless t.v. is a-ok by me, but when what I am reading, music I am listening to, and things that I am watching all have the same negative message, it does eventually affect me! I find my thoughts gradually become more cynical, I react to life instead of respond, and my sense of center, of peace, slowly dissipates.
Intention.
Living an intentional life is what I so desire. In order to do this, I need to be grounded in truth, which means ingesting truth on a regular basis. This doesn’t just mean ingesting the Word, but also His Words through other people, through music and through reading. It means seeking out what I want my brain to be filled with.
When I am not living life with intention, I feel weak and vulnerable. Storms of life come and I’m blown over pretty easily. That happened this last week. We are in the process of again, checking a lump that we have been watching. I had a scan that lit up a bit, but is borderline. I meet with my Oncologist on Thursday to discuss the “now what.” It may be another biopsy or more scans or both.
I sure wish I could say that I respond well to these situations. You would think by now I would. This time I think my body just shut down and I took a 7 hour nap the day after the scan. It is amazing how emotions can affect the physical body, which makes being grounded and centered, at peace, even more important.
Confession time: Another thing that has taken my peace is pride. God through husband revealed a couple areas that I need to be more intentional in. They have to do with money, and I immediately go into excuse mode for my actions. I am a very frugal person if compared to the average Joe, and I just want to hide behind that instead of admit I could have been more intentional with my spending this month. I also want to blame food prices and cost of holidays. I want to blame anything but me, but if I am truly honest with myself, I can do better and need to. This revelation came in the middle of all the other static my health has created. Not great timing, kinda ticks me off really, but I think I am ready to open my hands and be responsible for what is mine. Closed fists creates blame and denial. Pity parties inhibit growth.
which means I am almost done with my pity party 😉 and I feel His Spirit working within to change my thought patterns. Nuggets of truth here and there. Gifts dropped in my lap from friends. A surprise visit from my Mom. An exciting opportunity to travel, speak and share my story come the New Year. These are all whispers, (some shouts) from God to me, some tangible, others not, but they all remind me that:
~He will never leave me or forsake me ~He knows the plans He has for me ~He has shown up in the past, within my pain ~He weaves stories, turning ashes into beauty ~He always forgives ~He meets my confession with compassion ~I can do anything through Him who gives me strength ~His promises extend to my children, and He cares for them more than I can imagine ~He is good, ALL the time. All the time, He is good. ~He makes ALL things, work together for my good! ~There is meaning and purpose in all that passes through His hands to me.
I will let you all know what Doc thinks after my Thursday appointment. In the meantime, I am holding to the truths in this song, lately with 2 fingers, but soon to be with both hands, empty..
My babies are now 12, 10 and 9! I just can’t believe it! Where do the years go? I am loving every minute of being a mom. I feel so very lucky to call these little lovelies mine, always remembering that they ultimately are His. I know He will always take care of them.
I love you, my three beauties!
I remember singing this hymn as a child, for it was sung to me.
This remake of it is so pretty.
Love.
Be not dismayed what e’er be tide
God will take care of you Beneath His wings of love abide God will take care of you
God will take care of you Through every day, o’er all the way *He will care for you* God will take care of you
Through days of toil when heart doth fail God will take care of you When dangers fierce your path assail God will take care of you
God will take care of you Through every day, o’er all the way He will care for you God will take care of you
God will take care of you Through every day, o’er all the way He will care for you God will take care of you
{push play, then click through to YouTube. It is worth it}
Our worship leader in church today lead us in prayer. In the middle of the prayer, she said “Lord, you make us beautiful.” This song above, “Beautiful Things,” immediately came to mind and it has been on repeat in my brain all day. It is a favorite of mine. Its words go perfectly with a reading I have found lately that has also been on my brain. I thought I’d share them with you:
From Jesus Calling:
As you become increasingly aware of My Presence, you find it easier to discern the way you should go. This is one of the practical benefits of living close to Me. Instead of worrying about what you should do if…or when… you can concentrate on staying in communication with Me. When you actually arrive at a choice-point, I will show you which direction to go.
Many people are so preoccupied with future plans and decisions that they fail to see choices they need to make today. Without any conscious awareness, they make their habitual responses. People who live this way find a dullness creeping into their lives. They sleepwalk through their days, following well worn paths of routine.
I, the Creator of the universe, am the most Creative Being imaginable. I will not leave you circling in deeply rutted paths. Instead, I will lead you along fresh trails of adventure, revealing to you things you did not know. Stay in communication with Me. Follow My guiding Presence.
______________________________
I love that my Creator does not “leave me circling in deeply rutted paths” but “leads along fresh trails of adventure.” As He does this, He guides me, changes me, grows me. Sometimes it is painful, change often is. Refining often comes through fire, and oh, how uncomfortable it can be!
Malachi 3:3
He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver..
A good refiner never leaves the crucible but, as the above verse indicates, “will sit” down by it so the fire will not become even one degree too hot and possible harm the metal. And as soon as he skims the last bit of dross from the surface and sees his face reflected in the pure metal, he extinguishes the fire.
Arthur Tappan Peirson
Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
Isaiah 64:8
But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
