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Cancer Journey/ HEALTH

Caring Bridge Journal Update

My bro-in-law rockin’ the bald look with me:)
BZZZZ–that was so fun.  Thanks, Cory, for showing your support in such a fun way!
{the following is from my Caring Bridge journal}
It has been a good weekend.  Friday my friend, Ann, came to visit bearing gifts of 4 homemade frozen meals and a homemade peach pie. I felt so stinkin’ loved!  We had the best time chatting, I showed her my growing hat collection and my bald head.  Her visits are always therapeutic, but this one was especially so!  My girls came walking in from school as she was about to leave.  She offered to take them to the park so I could rest awhile.  That was a great gesture of love as she had an hour drive home and it would put her driving time right at rush hour if she stayed.  I accepted.  Because I got some rest, I was able to stay up later and keep my husband company on a Friday night.  We watched our favorite shows and had a great evening together.  Thank you, Ann!

Saturday I found myself in “preparing for chemo” mode.  I know I will be pretty checked out for a few days, so it is important to me to have household stuff in order.  I stuck one of Ann’s homemade meals in the oven–meatloaf–it made my home smell wonderful and it was so nice to not worry about dinner after a tiring day.  I baked her peach pie, too, and we had a great family night watching our favorite shows and piggin’ out on great food!

Today was a wonderful day.  We went to church in the morning, I was greeted with a hug by our pastors wife right when I walked in the door.  She is so genuine and caring and wonderful.

We went to my in-laws for what we call our monthly “Pizza Sunday” We have an awesome, large family and I really look forward to these every month.  I was especially excited because my bro-in-law, Cory, told me he’d let me shave his head in honor of me:)  It was super fun, we did a mo-hawk first, then buzzed his entire head.  The kids got a kick out of watching, it was a fun moment.

Tonight I ran around like a crazy women just preparing for chemo tomorrow.  It reminds  me a bit of nesting, just not as fun:)  There is a feeling of anticipation, of wanting to get everything in order for a big, coming event.  My event is nasty chemo– blech.  I just want everything as easy on my family as possible while I am sick this week, so that feeling has kept me busy this evening.  I am ready!!  Sorta..

I am not looking forward to the hard parts of the week.

Here are a few prayer requests if I may..
~I’d really like to make it through a banquet the my husband is speaking at tomorrow night.  It will be right after a day of chemo, so I’m not sure how I will do.
  ~That I would get through the “fog” moments.  Not just get through them, but I long to use them as a chance to “Be Still, and Know that He is God”  It is not a good feeling to be aware in your mind of what is going on, but so tired/weak that you are unable to keep your eyes open or talk without mumbling.  I was only like that for about a day and 1/2 last session, so instead of freaking out about it, I really want to use it as a time to experience a stillness with my Jesus, and be aware that He is with me.  
~ I’m anxious to know the measurement of the tumor, and if my Doctor thinks it has shrunk as much as I think it has.  Pray that it has!
~My white blood cell count has been very high both times I got tested the last couple weeks.  😛  I’m so blessed!  There is a possibility that if it is still high, they will skip the Neulasta shot that I have to get the day after chemo.  This shot stimulates the bones to produce more white blood cells.  It was very uncomfortable and at times very painful, and lasted 4-5 days.  The pain medication I took is what messed my digestive system all up, so if I could skip all of that, it would be so very awesome.  
~that my kids would be at peace with mom being sick and tired again for awhile.  That they would remember it only lasts a few days and will be over soon. They have been doing so well, I am so very proud of them.  
 ~last but not least, would you pray for my friend, Jill?  I just met her online and she is a fellow breast cancer fighter, who was recently diagnosed.  She just had some hard news that her cancer is in her hip and spine.  She has 3 children.  She is a dear and could really use your prayers right now.

Thank you all for your prayers and all your awesome comments.  They make me smile, I am so grateful. 

9
Cancer Journey/ HEALTH

Shaving My Head

{this post is from my Caring Bridge journal}

It was a beautiful, sunny fall day.  My dad and step-mom and sister all drove an hour to come to church with us.  I just love that!  I love looking down the church aisle and seeing people I love, who know me and are just there.  My sister was a little late (surprise-ha), but even that was a blessing because I sent the family on with gpa and gma to get seats, and I was able to show up one song late and just come in a sit down.  Calm and easy is always good for me, but especially on a day when I am holding my hair on with a hat!!:)

The service was great, the sermon so very thought provoking.  

After church, I sent the girls into gma and gpas car and they bought them Happy Meals to bring home to eat.  The girls had to be at a neighborhood birthday party within minutes, so that little lunch detail was so helpful!  One way of many that my family made my day worry free.

Once the kids were off to the party, Dad took us adults all out to lunch.  Good ole’ Spaghetti Works.  Lunch was full of good conversation and laughs.  It was nice to park a ways away and walk around downtown on such a pretty day.

When we got home, my dad ran to the hardware store and bought a new fancy shower head for us, then installed it.  After my Neulasta shot, my bones ache just awful, and a hot shower really helps.  Our shower head was old and did not have different options like massage or pulse.  This new one does, I tried it last night and it was heaven.  I am so spoiled, I say the word and within minutes– it was done.
 Thank you so much, dad, this is a way that will make me feel better after the next chemo session and I feel less intimidated to face that “sick” week again!

I knew I had to make the promised “bald party” snacks, but I was not prepared and needed to go to the store.  The minute I said that, my dad and Pam said “We will go for you, write a list.”  Of course, they came back with all kinds of fun groceries for us, plus what I had listed.  It was 20 minutes of quiet time (girls happened to be chill during that time, and one of them went with gpa and gma), and it was a good time for me to just mentally prepare for what was coming up.  I locked myself in the bathroom for a couple, asked the Lord to give me strength, and as I did, a song popped in my head that my middle girl has been working on the last 2 days.  The chorus goes “you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, do whatcha gotta do!  Cuz God, Cuz God, Cuz God is with YOU!”  It is the most catchy, cute tune, and it was in my head the entire hair buzzing process.  

When they got back, I set to work making the girls their dinner and chosen party snacks.  My youngest peeled the eggs and rolled some Fudgy Buttons with her aunt, and I made mac n cheese in the shape of shells.  They were organic and color free, so they looked like little bald heads:)  The girls thought that was funny.  

I got nervous when I saw that they were almost finished eating, I knew it was time to chop it once they were done.  My older sister, Julie, arrived at this time, so I had 2 sisters there, my dad and step mom, and my husband and kids.  Surrounded with love.

I decided the clippers would not be able to get through the length, so I started out in the bathroom chopping on my hair in the front.  That was crazy weird, and ended up looking so bad that I was ready to get it shaved!  

We all gathered in the kitchen, I donned the haircutting cape, and the rest was kinda an out- of- body experience. My middle girl did her job and held my hands–that was so comforting to me and she was so very sweet.  She kept saying words like “you are still pretty mommy.”  My other 2 were more verbal and daddy had to whisper to them to be kind:)  We want them to express how they feel, but they also needed a lesson on when to keep thoughts inward, for the sake of someone’s feelings-we’ll work on that one.  I remember an argument over who sat where, my youngest kept saying “I can’t see!!”  


My eyes were shut some of the time, but whenever I would open them I saw my husband, who smiled at me the whole time, a sweet smile that told me he admired me, loved me and everything would be ok.  I saw my sis, Julie, comforting my girls and taking pics.  Her comments about how great my head shape was kept me smiling when I felt like freaking out.  My dad was also a rock that I kept peeking at, which comforted me. His presence there was huge. He said “I’ve seen this before, you look like you did 33 years ago before you grew hair”  oh, how I loved that comment, made me smile.  My step mom was wonderful, just just kept wiping all the hair off of me and my itchy head, and held ears out of the way:)  It was sooo soothing, and felt like I was getting a head massage in the middle of the crazy, so that was priceless. Her words were gentle and reassuring the whole time. My sister, Kathy, was a rock star with the clippers.  I taught her how to do the clipper over comb technique to get rid of bulk, the I told her to use the clippers like a lawn mower and just get it done! 
My middle girl stood in front of me holding my hands for over half the time, but when they got to the front, it was too much for her and she looked at me and said “mom, I need a break, is it ok if I let go and go downstairs for awhile” I was so proud of her.  Todd followed her downstairs, let her cry and she watched tv the rest of the time until it was over. My oldest drew her silly face on my head, it was a very quick work of art, as she was pretty freaked out..

(work of art:)
(my middle girl autographing my head)
(comforting my youngest)
Like I said previous post, I didn’t look at it until it was all done, and I’m not sure if I recommend that.  It may have been easier to watch the process, but then again, it would be long and drawn out…it took about 30-40 minutes.  I have pretty thick hair!


It was a hard moment when I looked and I didn’t expect to react how I did. It took my breath and I quickly went away from the mirror…then cried.  It was just shocking, and looked like I was a someone with cancer–:)  Imagine that?  I didn’t cry for long, maybe 2 minutes, because my tears were met with hugs from everyone and while my husband hugged me, he whispered the exact thing was needed to put a smile back on my face.  He’s been awesome like that!

My sister Julie then distracted the kids with fun fake spiders and spider web to decorate our sunroom for halloween.  She also brought some fun hand-me-down gifts/clothes from her daughter, so that added excitement really helped my girls.  

My dad and step mom left, and I asked Todd if I could have a night out with my sisters to shop!!  Shopping is such great therapy!!:)

We had the most fun night shopping, gotta love Kohls!  We laughed, tried on all kinds of clothes and were brutally honest with each other as sisters are, which make for the BEST shopping experience.  I got  myself some super big, hoop earrings to wear with all my head covering, and a dress for a banquet I will be going to next week. 

I came home to the kids in bed, waiting for a kiss from their bald momma.  Todd and I watched a show together, and he kept smiling at my baldness and again, said all the right things.  

It is now morning, and I gotta say, being bald sure FEELS GOOD!  No more weird tingling and soreness.  I’m sitting here in my big, white, fluffy robe with the hood on and I look like a pro boxer:) I feel much more tough then I felt a day ago, and I will use that feeling to fight what I call this “cancer crap!”

35
Cancer Journey/ HEALTH

Goodbye Hair–See You In 2011!

{this post is from my Caring Bridge journal}

Well, the hair is starting to go.  
IT WAS SO WEIRD WHEN I FIRST REALIZED IT! It is something that I knew was going to happen, but when it does, it still is so weird!  My scalp was really sore yesterday.  It feels like when one wears a tight ponytail for too long and the head gets sore, but more intense.  I took a shower hoping it would soothe it, and it did, but I  noticed hair in the drain afterwards.  

I dried/styled it, and was having a pretty good hair day (chemo has made my hair dry, weak and flyaway), but when I pulled on it with my hands quite a few strands would come out. It was strange–the amount that comes out should really hurt, but it doesn’t, I don’t feel it come out at all when pulled.  So very weird.

I told the family and the kids were fascinated.  They all wanted turns pulling on my hair to see if anything would come out.  They made me laugh with how exciting it was for them, it was like they were doing a science experiment with lots of “whoa!” “wows!” coming from their little mouths.  They literally made me laugh out loud, but then I paused wondering if this was healthy and if they would have bad dreams of pulling out my hair!!!

I did fine emotionally with it until later in the evening.  
Todd’s dad took our girls to a movie, which freed Todd and I up to do a quick trip to the mall.  My husband is going to be speaking at a fancy fund-raising event for his work next week and he really needed a new fancy outfit.  After dressing up my man (he looked sharp in his new clothes!), we walked around the mall looking for the perfect cap that I’ve had in my mind for my noggin.  I couldn’t find what I was looking for, and I found myself getting frustrated and discouraged.  I think the mall was not the best place for me to be.  I am a lover of fashion and I get excited when seasons change and I see new looks out there.  I think it was the combo of not being able to find what I wanted, seeing all the fun fashion, and just being tired that was a bit much. I tried my last cap on, got discouraged because my head was sore and it was another one that didn’t work, and said it was time to leave.  

The rest of the evening I felt a bit down, but Todd was great and encouraging, and we watched some really good tv:) which helped.  I told him my pity party will be done in the morning.  

Well, it is morning and I feel good emotionally.  My hair is not falling out on its own, but may start today because so much comes out when combing or touching it.  I may wear a hat to church just to avoid the embarrassment of a clump falling out while the people in the pew behind me look on.  🙂

My dad, step- mom and sister are all coming to church with us today.  Yay! Great timing!  It is the same sister that is going to shave my head, so I’m thinking I will take advantage of having her here and do the bald party I talked about tonight.  I just want to avoid the mess of it falling out on its own, and why put it off if it is only 3 more days with hair, and patchy hair the last couple??  It is something I need to get used to, why not start now?? Let’s get er’ done!!!

I’ll let you know how it goes, and leave you with one last pic of me with hair that I took yesterday.  Goodbye hair…see you in 2011! 
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  
Proverbs 31:30
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 
2 Corinthians 4:16 


23
Cancer Journey/ HEALTH

The Gifts Of Cancer

There are so many amazing stories I want to share with you all.  Stories of what I call “blessings that are dropping down from Heaven to us” during this time.  It is overwhelming and I can’t share fast enough to keep up, so I will share just a few…

Meals
I’ve told you about this one, but I just received an email from my church this morning with the most organized meal plan!  I am receiving meals until the end of February.  There are over 90 meals coming, provided by 22 people.  That. Is. So. Cool.

Music Gift
My middle girl who is 9, has taken piano lessons for a year now.  I’ve noticed before that she could play by ear a bit, but God’s kiss to her during this time was to take that gift, and grow it quickly.  I was sitting here writing one night and I kid you not, I had to stop and listen because I thought I was hearing music from heaven.  It was my girl,  playing a beautiful melody that “just came to her.”  She has been developing that song for a week, line by line, with words that “come to her” I cannot wait to record it and share it with you.  It is unbelievable.  The words are about heaven, hell, God, death, sadness, gladness and hope.  It  is her way of processing all of this, and in that process she wrote a beautiful song that I know will encourage many.  She has two other songs she has been working on, one is pure Scripture and the other is a scary Halloween song:)  Todd and I just feel so blessed to have a child that is going to make us smile through her music for years to come.

Lelia
I’ve never met her.  She went to high school with my husband and got in touch with me through facebook.  She is a faithful reader of my blog and my CB journal, and her comments always make me smile.  She has blessed me is so many ways already.  She introduced me, through facebook, to 2 friends who are batting this breast cancer beast right now,  Knowing them, reading their blogs/sites and praying for them has been so very encouraging to me.
A few days ago, I was out with my mom and she briefly rubbed my back.  I just melted.  My bones were still very achy and the ache makes me tense, which make my muscles hurt.  The thought went through my mind…”I’d do just about anything for a massage.”  It was a thought that didn’t go away when I got home and I told my husband that I think I need a time of confession, because here God was dropping all these amazing gifts into my lap, and I still wanted this massage.  I felt spoiled and asked the Lord to forgive my discontentment.
The very next morning, I get an email from Lelia.  She said she knew a nurse who is a massage therapist for people who have illness.  She wanted to give that to me as a gift!!!  As I read that , I sat here and laughed and cried at the goodness of God!  It is like He said “thank you for confessing, but here you go, have a massage.”  He is so cool, and I am giddy about that massage!  Thank you, Leila, it doesn’t matter that we have never met, you have been a huge encouragement to me this last week and you have my heart.

Coco Keys:
I have to tell you about sweet Jenna.  She worked with my husband for a short time, then moved about an hour away, so we don’t get to see her often.  I keep up on her life through facebook, but our interaction has been minimal the last year.
She sent an email that told me she lives by Coco Keys Indoor Water Resort and wanted to do something nice for our family, so she offered to treat us to time there!!  It was one of those weeks when seeing smiles on my girls faces was a priceless gift.  I had told my girls to look for the good in the bad, like a treasure hunt.  The very next day I got to tell them about this gift, this treasure that we didn’t even have to hunt for. It was just held out to us.  Through Jenna and her husbands love, my girls get to see God and His good in the midst of crap.  I am so grateful.

My Neighbors
I already told you the coolness of having a neighbor who is a nurse that works with cancer patients.  This is reassuring and really brightened my day last Saturday.  Last night I got a text from him, he asked if he or his partner could  “do anything for us…paper plates, TP” 🙂  I ran around, showing my family his text, because very recently as my oldest and I were putting away dishes, we both agreed paper plates were a must right now–too many dishes!  I went to the store that evening and was disgusted with how expensive they were (I’m cheap!) and walked away, but regretted it when getting snack for my girls and had to pull out more plates to wash.
I had also noticed that very morning that we were down to 2 rolls of TP.  My mother in law had bought us a huge pack when all this craziness started, and I thought “how can it be almost gone already!!”  It is funny how a small thing like TP becomes a big thing when there are times a trip to the store is so not appealing!
His text was so specific, and he nailed 2 things that were already on my mind.  Super cool.
To top it off, he asked to mow for us this weekend to “use up the extra gas he has before winter comes”  When he put it that way, how do you say no?  It is a weekend that I am feeling well and we could do it, but when I told my husband, he smiled and said “that would be awesome.”  I know he has a lot on his plate right now at work and had told me he would need to work a couple extra hours on weekends coming up. Now that he does not have to mow the lawn, he has some time freed up to work.  Pretty cool.  Thank you so much, Jay.

Oh, I could go on and on.  There are so many stories!!  Gifts in the mail, cards sent, so many great comments here and on my CB site.  Scripture verses sent to me the very moment I needed to hear them.  

There is beauty in pain.  I do not want to miss that beauty.  God is not giving me a choice, He just keeps placing beauty right in front of me and I feel so extremely loved.

14
Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Healthy Eating/ How-Tos/ RECIPES

Fighting Cancer With Nutrition

I’m slowly but surely making decisions everyday about attacking this cancer from a nutritional standpoint.  There are so many suggestions and so many things one could choose to do in this area, and it could be overwhelming.  I’VE DECIDED NOT TO LET IT BE.

 This is another area that I have had to just release to God and know that He will lead me to what He wants for me.  I’ve had an open mind to those I trust the most, and through them I feel like He is guiding me. It is a calm, imperfect, slow process and I LOVE IT:P

I will share with you the different things I am embracing and why, some may sound quacky, but when you have Stage 3 Invasive breast cancer, quacky is allowed!

If you think about it, putting chemicals in your body that are so harsh that they eat up your blood veins, kill good cells along with cancer cells, and make you bald, is pretty quacky, too, but that is what we are doing along with nutrition.  Makes granola and green stuff sound a bit more normal, huh?

My husband walked out the door this morning saying, “Babe, get what you need to get.”  His support and trust in my decisions in this area means the world and made me feel so loved and cared for.

I’ll start with what I am doing so far, it is just the beginning but its is something.  I am NO EXPERT, whatever I am doing is just me stumbling along choosing to do what makes the most sense, all the while knowing it is PRAYER that heals, and whether that is healing here on this earth or my ultimate healing in heaven, only God knows what His perfect plan for me is.

I so desire to be a good steward of my body, and a good steward of information that God has sent my way.  Prayers in this area would be so appreciated!

1. WATER
Chemo has to be one of the most dehydrating things known to man. I have drank so much water in the last week, and not much is coming out, so obviously my body needs it!  TMI?
I use an Eco Vessel water bottle and it is by my side 24/7.  Literally!
I love it.  It holds 17 oz, fits in most cup holders, has a lid that allows ice in (very important to me), and is insulated, which keeps my ice from melting for hours.  I wake up at least 2-3 times a night very thirsty, so it stays filled and cold on my headboard.  There were days when I was very nauseous and it was a chore to make myself drink, but I did.  I feared getting dehydrated, I know so many who have to be hospitalized during their cancer fight because of dehydration, and that can be very serious.

2. Very little sugar.
We have had amazing desserts delivered and I have had bits of each of them and enjoyed them, but for the most part I enjoy seeing my girls and Todd delight in them.  Chemo has done a weird thing to my taste buds.  It makes everything taste sweet.  Not a very good, sweet, either.  For example, a glass of juice can taste like I’m drinking a glass of sweet cough syrup.  Yea, ick.  It has been a great way to steer me away from the sweets, but I am ready for normal taste buds again.  I am not off sugar, but I am very aware of how much sugar I eat, and when possible I use Sucanat (like on the oatmeal I am eating right now:)

3. Lots of fruit
This one has been easy for me because I am so spoiled.  My Grandma and Grandpa Earl signed me up for Harry and David’s fruit of the month club. SUPER GREAT GIFT.  Nectarines are the fruit of September and they have been DELISH!  I have also been able to afford lots of good fruit thanks to meals that have been delivered by friends and family.  It saves our grocery budget, so I buy fruit, veggies and supplements with the extra money.  Every meal we have received has had some sort of fruit (or veggie) with it, so that is pretty awesome.  I am trying to pick lots of different colors of fruits.  My freezer is full of different types of frozen berries that I use for smoothies, to put on my oatmeal, or just eat slightly thawed. I recently found the best black, seedless grapes! I’m trying to get creative so it doesn’t get boring. Just this morning a dear friend dropped off some treats along with organic bananas and carrots–nourishing foods are such a great gift to me!!  Thanks, Johanna!!

4. Veggies
This one was harder for me when my tummy was not well.  Now it easier.  I have lots of frozen veggies to use in soups.  I keep spinach on hand and use it in my fruit smoothies or pile it high with other veggies and make a salad.  I bought a butternut squash that I can’t wait to bake.  I’m lucky that I like vegetables, as I know many do not.  I have an aunt (Hi, Ellen!) that is sending a recipe for a cleansing soup that I’m sure will have lots of veggies in it.  My chopping board and I are ready, I think it would be great to have on hand for lunch.


5. Odwalla Superfood Green Drink
This was just a simple way for me to get some greens like wheat grass, barley grass, wheat spouts in when everything was crazy and I was too tired to think. It is high in Manganese and Potassium. I know there are other, better and cheaper ways of doing it, but while I was sick this was easiest.  I just drank a cup every morning.  It was one of the only juices that didn’t taste too sweet for me, and I drank it through a straw so I wouldn’t have to look at the crazy dark green color.  I have plans for getting my greens in other ways, I will share when I actually implement them.

6. Barlean’s Total Omega 3.6.9 Swirl
This product has fascinated me.  It was another super easy way to know I am getting my Omegas without having to think too much.  It was on sale at my health food store and the Orange Creme Swirl flavor sounded good.  It is made with Organic Flax Oil and Pure Borage Oil. There is no crazy taste, it is delish.  I take 1 Tbls a day.  It is very digestible, which was great for my sensitive stomach.  The lady that recommended it for me has no gall bladder and she said this product is the only one she can find that she is able to digest well.

7. Protein
All of the great meals we have been getting have made this one easy. I love chicken and one of my most favorite meals that was delivered was simple grilled chicken with an INCREDIBLE smoky bbq sauce.  I am working on getting more protein from non- meat sources, like lentils, beans and nuts.  In fact, today it is lentils and rice for lunch…yum!:)
 There were days when all I could get down was a protein bar, they came in handy, but are high in sugar, so not my favorite method of getting protein.
Eggs, cheese and yogurt are all high in protein.  I am a bit confused with what to do with these as my cancer type is estrogen fed and depending on what you believe, there are concerns with eggs and milk products and estrogen.  I won’t get into that because there are many different opinions out there, and I don’t want my comment section to become a debate 🙂 but it is something that I am processing…

8.  Fiber
This is pretty easy when I am eating all the fruits and vegetables that I should be.  We had some incredible flax seed rolls delivered with a meal that I am sure had a good amount of fiber in them.  I love dipping hearty breads in my soups.  I have been eating lots of oatmeal and nuts that have fiber, too.

9. Vitamins and Supplements
The only thing I have been doing so far is a multi-vitamin and 2,000 i.u of Vitamin D.  I am waiting to hear back from a blood test taken to check my Vit. D levels, I am a strong believer that Vitamin D is CRUCIAL to my healing.

I have a great plan for all my vitamins and supplements in the very near future.  I am going with the Shaklee brand, and will become a representative for them so I can get them at a good cost, and offer them to any of my blog readers if they are interested.  It was a process I was embracing before my cancer diagnosis, so it feels natural to continue on in that process. Here are the products from Shaklee that I have decided to take so far:

~Shaklee Vitalizer + Iron
~NurtiFeron
~CarotoMax

 There are a few others I would love, but we will see how the budget is doing and maybe add slowly.  I will go into more detail with these products and why I am taking them sometime soon.

I  will continue to let you know what I am adding and what I feel is working for me.  I know this stuff is not for everyone, but it is through others sharing their journey that I have found some answers, so I will share mine.

***If you are a meal provider for our family in the future, I don’t want you an ANY way to feel like it has to be organic and crazy healthy.  My breakfast, lunch and snacks are extremely healthy and I know now more than ever that LIVING and enjoying gifts is so very important, so know that I will enjoy yours. This post makes it sound like I am an”all organic, won’t- eat- anything- that- is -not- good -for me” person. Not true.  I am taking a balanced approach, so please do not feel pressure to bring an out- of- this- world, healthy meal.  We are so very thankful for whatever you provide, even if it is pizza or takeout (another one of my most favorite meals that was provided was a Chinese takeout feast!:))

Today’s food:
Breakfast–Oatmeal with Sucanat, cinnamon & a handful of frozen rasberries; yogurt
Lunch–Salmon burger from my health food store +lentil rice salad
Dinner–Chili, Spinach salad, and bread from the bread makerSnacks-Homemade apple pie from a friend, smoothies, fruits/veggies, crackers, etc. 

19
Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Love/ Spiritual

Coping Through Songs

This has been a theme song in my life for about the last 4 years.  It now has new meaning, but is still so familiar and comforting.  It is one that I have been going to often the last few days, for encouragement.

(hope the link works, brain fog kept me from figuring out an easier way get this song on here!)

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it’s burning bright for You
It’s everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

[CHORUS]
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father’s hands

[CHORUS]

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me

I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There’s nothing I can’t do
Nothing I can’t do

I’m gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire 



And for those times I forget these truths, those times I walk away with my thoughts and actions from my God, this following song is one that gets me right back on track.  I love me some Britt Nicole!

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