Cancer Journey/ HEALTH

Goodbye Hair–See You In 2011!

{this post is from my Caring Bridge journal}

Well, the hair is starting to go.  
IT WAS SO WEIRD WHEN I FIRST REALIZED IT! It is something that I knew was going to happen, but when it does, it still is so weird!  My scalp was really sore yesterday.  It feels like when one wears a tight ponytail for too long and the head gets sore, but more intense.  I took a shower hoping it would soothe it, and it did, but I  noticed hair in the drain afterwards.  

I dried/styled it, and was having a pretty good hair day (chemo has made my hair dry, weak and flyaway), but when I pulled on it with my hands quite a few strands would come out. It was strange–the amount that comes out should really hurt, but it doesn’t, I don’t feel it come out at all when pulled.  So very weird.

I told the family and the kids were fascinated.  They all wanted turns pulling on my hair to see if anything would come out.  They made me laugh with how exciting it was for them, it was like they were doing a science experiment with lots of “whoa!” “wows!” coming from their little mouths.  They literally made me laugh out loud, but then I paused wondering if this was healthy and if they would have bad dreams of pulling out my hair!!!

I did fine emotionally with it until later in the evening.  
Todd’s dad took our girls to a movie, which freed Todd and I up to do a quick trip to the mall.  My husband is going to be speaking at a fancy fund-raising event for his work next week and he really needed a new fancy outfit.  After dressing up my man (he looked sharp in his new clothes!), we walked around the mall looking for the perfect cap that I’ve had in my mind for my noggin.  I couldn’t find what I was looking for, and I found myself getting frustrated and discouraged.  I think the mall was not the best place for me to be.  I am a lover of fashion and I get excited when seasons change and I see new looks out there.  I think it was the combo of not being able to find what I wanted, seeing all the fun fashion, and just being tired that was a bit much. I tried my last cap on, got discouraged because my head was sore and it was another one that didn’t work, and said it was time to leave.  

The rest of the evening I felt a bit down, but Todd was great and encouraging, and we watched some really good tv:) which helped.  I told him my pity party will be done in the morning.  

Well, it is morning and I feel good emotionally.  My hair is not falling out on its own, but may start today because so much comes out when combing or touching it.  I may wear a hat to church just to avoid the embarrassment of a clump falling out while the people in the pew behind me look on.  🙂

My dad, step- mom and sister are all coming to church with us today.  Yay! Great timing!  It is the same sister that is going to shave my head, so I’m thinking I will take advantage of having her here and do the bald party I talked about tonight.  I just want to avoid the mess of it falling out on its own, and why put it off if it is only 3 more days with hair, and patchy hair the last couple??  It is something I need to get used to, why not start now?? Let’s get er’ done!!!

I’ll let you know how it goes, and leave you with one last pic of me with hair that I took yesterday.  Goodbye hair…see you in 2011! 
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  
Proverbs 31:30
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 

2 Corinthians 4:16 

You Might Also Like

  • **** April ****
    October 5, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Hair is over-rated! God bless!

  • Doris
    September 27, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    You are a brave, beautiful girl, Amy. Pity party is totally expected and deserved… Prayers for healing and only tears of joy…

  • The Linders
    September 27, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    Thanks for sharing your journey. I don’t know if you have JC Penney in your area, but ours (Fort Worth, TX) has some great hats! I’ve been looking for one for quite ahwile and found it there last week. Hope you find just the one you’re looking for!

  • Beth
    September 27, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    Love the verse you chose! Thank you for sharing all this today. What a great read- your words are encouraging and uplifting. Sorry you are losing your hair like this but you obviously have been blessed with God’s peace. Try looking on Etsy to find a fun, interesting hat/scarf or whatever. They generally have things to suit more individual tastes. Oh, and you look great in your photo.

  • Gloria (The Little Red House with the White Porch)
    September 27, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Amy: I checked out ‘’ as so nicely suggested by Driftwood Girl above. It’s a great onsite store! I am going to order the beret!
    Thanks to Driftwood Girl!

  • Gloria (The Little Red House with the White Porch)
    September 27, 2010 at 11:26 am

    P.S. I also think it is great that the kids were pulling on your hair and you were all laughing! Do you know that laughter is the best medicine? I’m sure you do. 🙂

  • Gloria (The Little Red House with the White Porch)
    September 27, 2010 at 11:24 am

    Your hair looks beautiful in your picture and you look so cute. Just keep looking at that photo after you have shaved your head and remember that it WILL look like that again. It will probably grow in thicker for you too! Think to the future and how happy you will be once this is all over and you start to see peach fuzz growing on your scalp! That will be a very triumphant day for you. You might have to wait a while, but ‘patience is a virtue.’ 🙂 You have a fabulous attitude and that’s what counts. The good Lord will give you courage, just throw it up to Him. Also, did you try on a cloche hat? I think a cloche would look so cute on you. Google “cloche” and you might find a nice one on the internet. I know has a couple. Good luck and I am sending good, healthy thoughts to you, and prayers.
    Best regards,

  • Page
    September 27, 2010 at 2:42 am

    You are a beautiful gal Amy, and that has nothing to do with your hair!! I am praying that the party went/goes well, and God gives you the strength to embrace it. I will also pray that you find that perfect hat you are looking for!!! Which I’m sure you’ll look adorable in. 🙂

  • Driftwood Girl @ Beauty and Inspiration
    September 27, 2010 at 3:09 am

    You’re beautiful! Praying for you *hugs*

    have you seen

  • Anonymous
    September 27, 2010 at 2:25 am

    Thank you for sharing your story with us! Praying for you! You are such a blessing! 🙂

  • Michelle
    September 27, 2010 at 1:50 am

    You are just so precious and your faith is beautiful. I think you will be adorable with the shaved head. 🙂

  • Michelle
    September 26, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    God has blessed you with so much natural beauty, Amy! I know you will be just lovely no matter what!

    May He continue to strengthen you through this. Christ radiates through your smile!

  • Amy @ Increasingly Domestic
    September 26, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    I have to say that I think the kids pulling out your hair was sweet and probably a good way for them to undestand a little bit better what is happening to you. If all else fails, put a little money away to pay for their therapy later;)

    I am so blessed by you and am praying for you to find that perfect head covering.

  • Pam
    September 26, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    After his first round of chemo, my Dad also opted to shave his head rather than deal with shedding on his own. It was a jolt for the grownups to see him the first time after he did it, and my boy (who was 4 at the time) told him he looked like Yoda (Dad had very large ears!). Fortunately Dad knew that was high praise coming from my pint-sized Star Wars fan! :o)

    On a personal note, I have baby fine hair that has been thinning for years. I’ve worn a wig for almost two years now. It took a while to find exactly the right one for me, but once I finally did it made a tremendous difference in how I felt. Everyone handles it differently, but if you decide you don’t like the bald look there are wonderful options out there. (And they’ll keep your head warmer this winter!)

  • brookie
    September 26, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    I have been readying your blog for awhile. I loved to play and read, but since your diagnosis I have been too stunned to say anything. If it was you, it could be me, and that is so scary. I want you to know that I send positive thoughts your way often and that I admire your bravery. God bless your humor and your precious children.

  • Lana
    September 26, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    Maybe look at this as a chance to have the hair style and color you have always dreamed of up never dared to do. A sister of a friend has a beautiful wig, and she loos great in it. You are doing so well balancing the ups and downs. I am sure that comes from your strong faith, a great husband, and that strong support system you discovered you had!

  • Julia
    September 26, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    I will never forget the day that my good friend’s hair started falling out. I was teaching in the room across the hall from her. Her doctor had told her that her hair would begin falling out around Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day, she walked into my classroom holding a handful of hair out to me with tears in her eyes. This was probably 10 years ago. She is still teaching, has beautiful hair, and more energy than I’ll ever have. I pray you will be able to deal with this as well as she did. My prayers are going up for you now. Oh, by the way, she bought hats, caps, wigs, etc….and ended up not wearing any of them. She went bare headed. Her 8th graders thought she was the coolest!

  • Kristi
    September 26, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Praying for you. Also, I’m a knitter and would love to knit you a few caps for winter. Could you send me your head size? Looks like you’d be a small, but it never hurts to ask!.

    ~ The Speckled Dog

  • Leigh
    September 26, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    It sounds like you and your family are handling these changes so gracefully, with a mixture of humor and sadness. I will be praying that you find the perfect hat/scarf/head covering. Actually, let’s pray it just falls into your lap!

  • Angie
    September 26, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    Praying for your health and for comfort for you and your family. Also I still think if anyone can look beautiful bald- it’s you!!!

  • Why Not Sew?
    September 26, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    My MIL shaved hers when it began to fall out. She wore wigs that looked really good. I know that it is hard. You are doing great! My MIL’s hair started to grow back before her treatments were finished.

  • Laurie
    September 26, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    Amy, I’m so proud of you. And inspired by you. Thank you for being open with us as you’re on this journey. It really means a lot to me. You are on my kitchen prayer board and my thoughts are with you. Thank you for being real, an example we can think of when we have life challenges. You are helping so many people! God bless you! xoxo Laurie from Scene of the Grime

  • Crystal
    September 26, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    God Bless You

  • Top