FAMILY/ Parenting

Speaking Your Child’s Love Language-Part 1 – Purposeful Living

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, I spend time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority
Priority #5 – Social Health – Immediate Family–Children (Social & Emotional Health)

Goal Setting & Reflection Date
Sunday, March 6

Invest in the social and emotional health of my middle daughter and strengthen my relationship with her by figuring out a way to spend quality one-on-one time with her.   

Goal Status

For years I feel have missed the mark with our middle girl, who is 11.  I know how she is wired and I know how she best receives love, but I have not been effective in tapping into either of these parts of her personality.

I have felt that Amy and I have done better with our other two daughters.  Amy has spent hours supporting our oldest daughter (age 12) in developing her duct tape business called Twisted Tape.  And I have spent hours (and hours and hours and hours) supporting our youngest daughter (age 9) develop her soccer skills. But I have missed the mark with my middle girl.  She has not received the same level of focused attention.

This is sad because her love language is Quality Time.  She loves having mom or dad all to herself. 

(For more on children’s love languages, read this book: The Five Love Languages of Children)

Despite this ongoing failure, I am happy to report that in March I set a goal to find a solution to this problem and within a few days came up with a couple of ideas that have proven hugely successful. 

On my end, I tapped into her love of reading.  She saved up for a Kindle Fire and routinely stays up way too late reading books under her covers in her room when I think she is asleep. 

I also love books and own my own Kindle Fire, so doing this together seemed like a no brainer.

For the months of April, May, June, and July I picked out one evening each month and took her to Barnes & Noble. 

Upon arrival, I head to the café area to purchase a root beer and snag a table while she shops for a book of her choice.  As long as I approve of the content of the book, she can purchase pretty much any book she wants. 

After she finds a book we purchase it electronically on her Kindle.  Then she joins me at the café where I purchase her a snack of her choice from the bakery. We spend our remaining time reading.  And sipping our root beer.  And munching on our snacks.  And discussing our books.  And chatting about life.

It is precious time with my middle daughter.  I look forward to it every month and I am pretty sure she does too.

{Family Trip To The Zoo 2012}

The next post in this series will explain how Amy is also spending Quality Time with her by tapping into her love of reading.  The two of us are working well as a team to spoil our sweet middle child with one-on-one attention. 
Link To Foundation Post
Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts
Purposeful Living Series

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  • Linda
    July 23, 2012 at 1:57 am

    Aw, Todd, you are a great husband and father! Those girls are gonna look far and wide to find husbands who measure up to the standard their daddy has set.

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