label/purposeful living main

Spiritual Health Books For My Girls

Todd Bowman and purposeful Living Series

These posts are designed to model a system of purposeful living. At least once a month, Todd spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

………………..

Correct Priority #5 – Social Health- Immediate Family-Children (Spiritual Health)

Goal Set – November 2012

Goal:

Develop a detailed family spiritual plan to better ground my three girls in God’s word. Specific elements of this plan include the items listed below.

Develop a plan to help each girl identify Christian books to read.

Goal Status

Completed

………………..

Thoughts – Updated

The week after Christmas I rounded up the entire family and we drove to Omaha to Parables Christian Bookstore. It is a nice store and they have a large selection of Bibles and books.

I tasked each of my girls to find one book to purchase. My only stipulation is that had to be a book that would spur their spiritual growth.

Amy & I walked them through the different parts of the store and helped them identify sections and types of books they might like. After looking around for a while they all made great book selections.

Teagan selected the book Live To Give by Austin Gutwein. It is biography of a teenager who turned a love and passion for basketball into a non-profit organization with 40,000 members and has raised over $3 million for AIDS relief in Africa. I love that Teagan’s faith is active. Her love for God inspires her to make a difference in the lives of others.

Colsie chose the book From Blah to Awe: Shaking Up A Boring Faith by Jenna Lucado. It is a non-fiction book written for teen girls. It talks about how to have a vibrant and radical faith while navigating the challenges of middle school and high school. Colsie just entered sixth grade and is learning how to navigate challenges that didn’t exist in elementary school.

My little Avery was more ambitious. She picked a book called The Secret Power of Joy. It is a FaithGirlz Bible Study on the book of Philippians. While it is written for children it is a pretty intense Bible Study involving reading Bible passages and then answering a set of questions based on what was ready. Avery seems pretty excited about it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs some help getting through it. I will monitor her progress and work through it with her if she needs extra motivation.

{Looking for books and hanging out at Parables}

{Love my girls}

{Money well spent}

…………………

Thoughts – (previous post that spurred on this November Goal)

I spent a great deal of time over the past year planning our family Florida vacation. This planning paid off with an amazing trip. It may have been the best two weeks of my life.

But in the process of planning this vacation I neglected many other things, including being a good parent. I have been convicted since returning from out trip that I need to dedicate more time and do a better job in a variety of areas that are far more important that vacation.

One area in which I know I need to improve is being the spiritual leader of our home and doing what I can to better ground my girls in their faith. Each time they step out of our home they enter a world where many despise the gospel of Jesus Christ. They enter a world that is hostile to God’s word.

When my children our older they will have to decide for themselves what they believe. But there is zero chance I will stay silent while they are bombarded with messages contrary to what God wants for them every day of their life.

My first responsibility is to model for them what it means to live a Godly life and be sensitive to His will. My next responsibility is to make sure they know what is true and right. I will not ignore either of these responsibilities.

Amy’s Thoughts –

I think back on this fun family day trip to Omaha with fondness. We ate out at 5 Guys (Todd’s fav) and hit up my fav (Starbucks) on the way home! I was really proud of the choices my girls made in books. I love the pic of Todd holding up his purchases with a twinkle in his eye…we both know it is investment that will not return void.

………………..

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

FAMILY

Correct Priorities- My Spiritual Health, My Children’s Spiritual Health & My Children’s Physical Health

Goal setting and reflection with Todd Bowman

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living. At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

………………..

Goal Setting & Reflection-March 2013 – Purposeful Living

Correct Priority #1 – Spiritual Health

(click here for outline of Correct Priorities)

Goal – March 2013

Create space for a half-day or full-day personal spiritual renewal retreat once a quarter (every three months). Find a place that is quiet and without distraction and pray through my entire list of Correct Priorities, seeking God’s guidance in every area of my life.

Thoughts

I have been feeling off lately. I have been fairly faithful and consistent in some of the goals I have set for myself, but still felt off. It’s hard to explain. It is just a feeling like I was doing something wrong – doing the wrong things – moving in the wrong direction.

It reached a point today where I felt I needed to get out of the house and go somewhere quiet and pray. I brought my Correct Priorities Journal with me to pray through as well.

I ended up at Burger King. I bought a $1 fountain drink and spent the next 2 hours praying, reflecting, and seeking God’s will in every one of my Correct Priorities. God showed up and brought clarity and focus to how I should be spending my time.

I added new goals, revised others, and reprioritized which goals were most important. While I had been engaging in meaningful activity, I had not been engaging in the right activities. I am excited now to start moving in new directions.

I realized today that it is not enough to just pick out one priority a week and do a bit of goal setting and reflection. It is necessary, but not enough. It is also necessary to occasionally review all of them in a single sitting.

I am going to start with once a quarter. This seems like a reasonable time frame to start with. Any more often would take too much time away from my family. But it seems often enough to be able to refocus if I’m getting off track.

…………………….

Correct Priority #5 – Children (Spiritual Health)

Goal – March 2013

Continue to grow spiritually in specific areas of my life in order to become a better role model to my children. These specific areas are listed below.

Kindness – Even when disciplining my children, it has to be done with a heart of kindness.
Prayer – Look for opportunities every day to lead my family in prayer.
Compassion – Openness to new opportunities to be in relationship with and serve those in need.
Priorities – Set aside the pressures of life and be fully engaged in the areas where my family most needs me.
Faith & Humility – Dealing with my children in a manner that is firm, but also recognizes that I cannot control the hearts of my children. That is God’s job.

Thoughts

My girls, especially my older ones, have been struggling in a few areas of life. I mostly blame myself. I was not as engaged as a parent in these areas as I should have been when they were young. During their most formative years I not only often ignored these issues, but also modeled wrong behavior.

Over the past few months I have become more active as a parent. And in many areas Amy & I have seen significant growth and change in our girls. They have responded well and are growing in the areas we have focused on.

But there are also some strongholds in each of their lives that are proving challenging. We see what we think are breakthroughs only to see the same behaviors coming back a day later. Three steps forward. Two steps back. Over and over again.

During my quiet time today I really prayed over my girls and asked God how I could be a better parent. And I found Him telling me (a feeling – not a voice) that the major issue now was not doing something different, but becoming different. I needed to continue to change, to grow, to become a better person. They need to see the change in me that I want to see in them.

……………………..

Correct Priority #5 – Children (Physical Health)

Goal – March 2013

Assist my daughter Colsie in daily completing her physical therapy to strengthen and repair the damage in her knee.

Thoughts

I purchased several volleyball training videos and had planned to use this time right now to work with my middle daughter Colsie on developing her volleyball skills to prepare for playing on a team this spring.

Instead she was diagnosed with a severe knee injury which will prevent her from playing sports of any kind for some time.

Since this diagnosis I tend to forget about it most nights. I depend on Colsie to find the motivation on her own to put in the work to get better. Reviewing my Correct Priorities list today I felt I needed to be much more active in motivating and working with her in strengthening her knee. I can transfer the time I was going to spend with her on volleyball to helping her get better.

…………………….

Amy’s Thoughts:

First of all, have to say I feel like the luckiest lady in the world. To have a man who will discern when things are not ‘right’, turn Burger King into church, and seek the Lord for direction– what a beautiful gift to call him MINE.

I have always thought of my Todd as a humble, gentle and compassionate person, especially when it came to parenting…especially compared to ME! So to hear him say he wants to grow in these areas and to watch that growth take place is really cool. I’ve seen a gentle & calm spirit in him lately while interacting with our girls. I’ve seen the change and it is VERY attractive. 😉

Here is the kicker. I got chills when I read what Todd said above… “I needed to continue to change, to grow, to become a better person. They need to see the change in me that I want to see in them.” Just this morning, before I read this post that he wrote, I was on my way home from dropping my 2 oldest off to school. The amount of drama that happened in that 30 second car ride to school (just 3 blocks!) was enough to make me lose my temper. As I was driving home, I was quite exasperated and cried out to God in my thoughts “Lord, what the heck? When will I ever see change in my girls & why is this so hard lately?” Quickly in my spirit I felt Him say back, three VERY CLEAR words. “YOU MUST CHANGE.” I immediately felt conviction and agreed. I need to change in my attitude toward them when they are not behaving how I would like them to.

God is so good to be teaching us the same things. May He be ever so close as we chose to obey Him!

…………………….

Goal Setting & Reflection-March 2013 – Purposeful Living

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

FAMILY/ Marriage

Correct Priorities – Serving Your Spouse

………………..

Correct Priority #4 – Social Health-Spouse

(click here for outline of Correct Priorities)

Goal – February 2013

Show love to my wife through a purposeful act of service. Specifically this means taking full responsibility for upkeep of the basement. Areas of focus include:

Making sure it is always picked up.

Vacuuming once a week.

Getting rid of the NordicTrack exercise equipment that is broken and hasn’t been used in years.

Getting rid of our old big screen TV taking up space in the back corner of the basement.

Getting rid of my copy machine taking up space in the back corner of the basement.

Organizing the back corner of the basement currently filled with various random items.

Thoughts

Our home is important to Amy. She works very hard at making our house a home where our family and others feel comfortable, peaceful, and content.

And she has done a darn good job. I love being at home. Our girls love being at home. We are all home bodies. And a primary reason we love being home is the comfortable atmosphere Amy has worked so hard to create.

I know it drives Amy crazy to walk down the stairs and see my stuff strewn all over the basement table and floor. In thirty seconds I can turn the space she worked so hard to organize into a disaster area.

So it is time for me to step up and take responsibility for keeping the basement picked up. I spend the most time there. I have turned the basement into my personal man-cave.

I know I’m not up to tackling this project all at once so I broke it into several smaller goals that are more achievable.

I’m also not committing yet to a specific starting date. At this point I am only committing this goal to paper. But committing it to paper is a significant step as it will greet me each week until I act on it.

……………….

Amy’s Thoughts:

“I felt so touched reading this post. I noticed the basement had been looking very picked up the last few weeks. I also would feel almost giddy when I would hear the vacuum in the basement running, knowing my man was vacuuming (there is NOTHING like a man who vacuums!). To know he has more goals set in the area of serving me as his wife makes me feel very loved and thankful. It also motivates me to check myself and think about how it is that I am purposefully serving him.”

………………….

Purposeful Living

Goal Setting & Reflection-February 2013

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

Books/ FAMILY

Three Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2013-Part 1

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

………………………………….

Correct Priority

Priority #4 – Social Health – Immediate Family–Spouse

Goal Setting & Reflection Date
December 2012

Goal
Invest in the social and emotional health and strengthen my marriage by reading and discussing two books with Amy in 2013. The first book must be a mutually agreed upon marriage book. The second book may be any book of Amy’s choice. Specific goals include:

Mutually choose a marriage book.
Amy chooses a book of her choice.
Decide how often to read and discuss each book.
Develop a plan to ensure relevant discussion and dialogue.

Goal Status
Partially Completed

…………………………………..

Thoughts – UPDATED
Amy & I have identified the books we will read together and discuss in 2013. The goal was to select two books, but we ended up choosing three.

Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

{Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs}

The marriage book we will read is Love & Respect by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs. I don’t know much about the book, but Amy has friends who recommended it and she liked the parts she came across while browsing through it.

We also chose two additional books to read together both on the subject of nutrition. Both are written by Dr. Fuhrman.

Dr. Fuhrman is a board certified family physician, best-selling author, and nutritional researcher who specializes in preventing and reversing disease through nutritional and natural methods. He is the father (creator) of nutritarian eating. A key component of nutritarian eating is the Health Longevity Equation which he also created.

H (Health) = N (Nutrients) / C (Calories)

The first nutrition book we chose to read is Eat To Live. This is the first book Dr. Fuhrman wrote and I wanted to start at the beginning to understand the foundational theory and evidence behind his approach to nutrition.

The second nutrition book we chose is Super Immunity. This is Dr. Fuhrman’s most recent book and focuses on foods that offer the most nutritional benefit according to his Health Longevity Equation.

The first book provides theory and evidence on why nutritarian eating is the most effective way to eat. The second book provides clear advice on the most healthy foods.

We will read and discuss one chapter each week. On weeks we go on a date we will discuss the book over dinner at a restaurant or coffee shop. On weeks we stay home we will discuss the book on a Friday or Saturday night before we start a movie. We will both highlight parts of the books we consider important and want to share or discuss.

……………………………………

Thoughts – ORIGINAL
This goal has become a yearly tradition and one that has proven to be very beneficial to our marriage.

Strong marriages don’t just happen by accident. They need to be nurtured through commitment and sacrifice.

Reading a marriage book together is an opportunity to prioritize our marriage. It will allow us to focus on what is important to keep our marriage strong. Reading a second book of Amy’s choice is an opportunity to enter Amy’s world. It is an opportunity to learn what is important to her and show her I care about the details of her life.

In future posts I will share the books we chose and some things I learned from each selection.

…………………………………

Foundation Post
Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts
Purposeful Living Outline

FAMILY

Disney World Made Me a Better Husband, Father & Person

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living. At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority
Priority #2 – Emotional Health

Goal Setting & Reflection Date
Saturday, November 10, 2012

Goal
Improve my spiritual and emotional health by learning to deal with interpersonal conflict more
constructively (especially with my wife and children).

Goal Status
Completed

Thoughts

In October 2012 our family went on a 16-day vacation to Florida including three days at the
ocean, eight days at Disney World, and three days at Universal Orlando. It was the experience of
a lifetime and something I have been dreaming about for years.

I dreamed of going to Disney when my first daughter was born. I didn’t (and still don’t) make a
lot of money and figured I would probably only have the opportunity to do it once so the timing
had to be just right.

I waited until all three of my girls were old enough to not only be able to fully appreciate
everything we were going to do, but also old enough to handle the physical demands of walking
many miles each day through the theme parks.

I informed the family we were going to Disney during Christmas 2011 and spent nearly a year
planning the trip. It was planned out in such detail I knew exactly what we were going to do and
where we were going to eat every day of the trip.

Our vacation was everything I hoped and dreamed it would be. We had 16 days of beautiful
weather. No one got sick (at least not until the very last day when we were traveling home).
Our stamina held up through miles of walking. My family bought into my idea of experiencing
everything we could possibly squeeze into each day. We got up early and stayed out late nearly
every day of the trip.

The story, however, does not end there. While we had an amazing vacation, there were several
difficult moments during the trip – a few of them involving me. Three instances in particular
really stand out and spur feelings of regret when I reflect on them.

On our very first day of travel one of my daughters struggled mightily with behavior during
our three hour drive to the resort. My method of getting her to stop was to yell – loudly. And I
remained angry about the incident well into the evening after we arrived.

On the morning of the second day I learned that Amy had failed to pack my belt. I was upset
because I needed a belt for most of the cool new wardrobe I had purchased for the trip. I blamed
Amy because I had reminded her during packing that I needed a belt and to be sure to pack one.
For most of the day it was very clear to everyone through my words and body language that I
was upset with her.

By the end of the second day I realized if we were going to have any chance at a nice vacation
that I was going to have to get my act together. The trip was stressful enough without dad being
mad the entire time.

I did pretty well until our last day at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Things were going well until
about noon when Amy and I started bickering. The bickering turned into an argument and ended
with us leaving early. We missed the afternoon parade, some shows, and some neat attractions.

That evening and the next day of travel home were awful. I was embarrassed at how I had acted.

I was full of regret.

Some Disney veterans may be quick to explain away or excuse my behavior. They know that
Disney is a stressful place. Despite the magic and the fun, Disney is also a place that pushes
people to sensory overload. There is so much to do, taste, see, and experience that it is often
overwhelming. It was not uncommon walking through the parks to view children in the middle
of meltdowns and their parents melting down right along with them.

But the problem I had was not one of Disney overload. It was clear to me these were deep
character flaws I brought to Disney with me. Especially at home, when faced with conflict, my
instinct is to respond with anger, blame, or criticism.

Since returning home it has been my absolute priority to be purposeful and constructive in
dealing with conflict.

I will no longer be a lazy parent who yells at my children because I can’t be bothered to stop
what I’m doing to engage in some actual parenting.

Most disappointing when it comes to my children is their inability to work through problems
with each other through dialogue and communication. But this inability to resolve conflict exists
because I have been too lazy to model or teach them how to do so. It takes time and energy
when they are fighting to get them talking and listening to one another. It is much easier to send
them to their rooms and yell a bit for them to knock it off.

But I am done with the yelling. I will invest the time needed into the lives of my children to
model and teach them how to resolve conflict.

I will also no longer be the lazy husband who is critical or mean when something bothers me.

I am done with having a critical spirit that points out mistakes and faults. I am going to view
disappointments as an opportunity to respond rightly. I am going view conflict with Amy as an
opportunity to talk, listen, and problem solve.

And beyond my family, I intend to change these areas of my life in all of my relationships.

I will not be perfect in these areas. I know I will make mistakes and often fail. But I also don’t
believe God would reveal these things for me to continue in them. God’s desire is to mold me
into the image of His Son. And this is the next small step in that journey.

On Thanksgiving I am thankful for a God that does not leave me powerless. I am thankful for
a God who gives a lost sinner like me not only the future promise of eternal life, but also the
present capacity of a changed heart and a transformed life through the power of His Holy Spirit.

Foundation Post
Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts
Purposeful Living Outline

FAMILY

Being Purposeful In Meeting With A Mentor

Being Purposeful In Meeting With Mentor – Purposeful Living

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living. At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority

Priority #3 – Social Health – Friends–Having A Mentor

Goal Setting & Reflection Date

Sunday, April 8

Goal

Invest in my spiritual, social, and emotional health by meeting once a month with individuals who play a mentoring role in my life.

Goal Status

In Progress

Thoughts

I am an introvert. A severe introvert. And I struggle a great deal in relationships. I do well with my wife and with my children, but beyond that I don’t do well. Given the choice between time with people or time to myself, I prefer to be by myself.

But I have decided this month that this needs to change. I have no intentions on becoming the life of the party, but there are a few key relationships that need to be shored up in my life.

Starting with my mentors.

There are currently two men who play a mentoring role in my life. And I haven’t met with either of them since December. That is pathetic.

By not prioritizing my time to meet with them I believe I am putting my marriage and my family in unnecessary risk.

On the first Sunday of every month (beginning this month) I will be purposeful about contacting and setting up a time to meet with one of my mentors.

Towards the end of the year I will provide an update on how successful I have (or haven’t) been in setting up these meetings. And if I can any insight or wisdom during this time that seems appropriate to share I’ll do that as well.

–Todd

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

Newer Posts