Correct Priorities- My Spiritual Health, My Children’s Spiritual Health & My Children’s Physical Health

Goal setting and reflection with Todd Bowman

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.


Goal Setting & Reflection-March 2013 – Purposeful Living

Todd Bowman with new nostalgia

Correct Priority #1 – Spiritual Health
(click here for outline of Correct Priorities)

Goal – March 2013

Create space for a half-day or full-day personal spiritual renewal retreat once a quarter (every three months).  Find a place that is quiet and without distraction and pray through my entire list of Correct Priorities, seeking God’s guidance in every area of my life.   

I have been feeling off lately.  I have been fairly faithful and consistent in some of the goals I have set for myself, but still felt off.  It’s hard to explain.  It is just a feeling like I was doing something wrong – doing the wrong things – moving in the wrong direction.

It reached a point today where I felt I needed to get out of the house and go somewhere quiet and pray.  I brought my Correct Priorities Journal with me to pray through as well.

I ended up at Burger King.  I bought a $1 fountain drink and spent the next 2 hours praying, reflecting, and seeking God’s will in every one of my Correct Priorities.  God showed up and brought clarity and focus to how I should be spending my time.

I added new goals, revised others, and reprioritized which goals were most important.  While I had been engaging in meaningful activity, I had not been engaging in the right activities.  I am excited now to start moving in new directions.

I realized today that it is not enough to just pick out one priority a week and do a bit of goal setting and reflection.  It is necessary, but not enough.  It is also necessary to occasionally review all of them in a single sitting.  

I am going to start with once a quarter.  This seems like a reasonable time frame to start with.  Any more often would take too much time away from my family.  But it seems often enough to be able to refocus if I’m getting off track.    

Family at Five Guys

Correct Priority #5 – Children (Spiritual Health)
Goal – March 2013
Continue to grow spiritually in specific areas of my life in order to become a better role model to my children.  These specific areas are listed below.

  • Kindness – Even when disciplining my children, it has to be done with a heart of kindness.   
  • Prayer – Look for opportunities every day to lead my family in prayer.
  • Compassion – Openness to new opportunities to be in relationship with and serve those in need.   
  • Priorities – Set aside the pressures of life and be fully engaged in the areas where my family most needs me.  
  • Faith & Humility – Dealing with my children in a manner that is firm, but also recognizes that I cannot control the hearts of my children.  That is God’s job.  

    Micah 1:8

My girls, especially my older ones, have been struggling in a few areas of life.  I mostly blame myself.  I was not as engaged as a parent in these areas as I should have been when they were young.  During their most formative years I not only often ignored these issues, but also modeled wrong behavior.  

Over the past few months I have become more active as a parent.  And in many areas Amy & I have seen significant growth and change in our girls.  They have responded well and are growing in the areas we have focused on.

But there are also some strongholds in each of their lives that are proving challenging.  We see what we think are breakthroughs only to see the same behaviors coming back a day later.  Three steps forward.  Two steps back.  Over and over again.

During my quiet time today I really prayed over my girls and asked God how I could be a better parent.  And I found Him telling me (a feeling – not a voice) that the major issue now was not doing something different, but becoming different.  I needed to continue to change, to grow, to become a better person.  They need to see the change in me that I want to see in them.  

Todd Bowman and daughter

Correct Priority #5 – Children (Physical Health)

Goal – March 2013
Assist my daughter Colsie in daily completing her physical therapy to strengthen and repair the damage in her knee.  

I purchased several volleyball training videos and had planned to use this time right now to work with my middle daughter Colsie on developing her volleyball skills to prepare for playing on a team this spring.

Instead she was diagnosed with a severe knee injury which will prevent her from playing sports of any kind for some time.  

Since this diagnosis I tend to forget about it most nights.  I depend on Colsie to find the motivation on her own to put in the work to get better.  Reviewing my Correct Priorities list today I felt I needed to be much more active in motivating and working with her in strengthening her knee.  I can transfer the time I was going to spend with her on volleyball to helping her get better.  


Amy Bowman
Amy’s Thoughts:
First of all, have to say I feel like the luckiest lady in the world.  To have a man who will discern when things are not ‘right’, turn Burger King into church, and seek the Lord for direction– what a beautiful  gift to call him MINE.  

I have always thought of my Todd as a humble, gentle and compassionate person, especially when it came to parenting…especially compared to ME! So to hear him say he wants to grow in these areas and to watch that growth take place is really cool.  I’ve seen a gentle & calm spirit in him lately while interacting with our girls.  I’ve seen the change and it is VERY attractive.  😉

Here is the kicker.  I got chills when I read what Todd said above… “I needed to continue to change, to grow, to become a better person.  They need to see the change in me that I want to see in them.”  Just this morning, before I read this post that he wrote, I was on my way home from dropping my 2 oldest off to school.  The amount of drama that happened in that 30 second car ride to school (just 3 blocks!) was enough to make me lose my temper.  As I was driving home, I was quite exasperated and cried out to God in my thoughts “Lord, what the heck?  When will I ever see change in my girls & why is this so hard lately?”  Quickly in my spirit I felt Him say back, three VERY CLEAR words.  “YOU MUST CHANGE.”  I immediately felt conviction and agreed.  I need to change in my attitude toward them when they are not behaving how I would like them to. 

God is so good to be teaching us the same things.  May He be ever so close as we chose to obey Him!


Goal Setting & Reflection-March 2013 – Purposeful Living

Foundation Post

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

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  • Katherine Sakovich
    April 8, 2013 at 11:47 am

    As I sat this morning with my cup of coffee and to read something that hopefully encouraged me, I decided to open and read this post. What a great encouragement. Just the thing I needed. I want to be a better me. I desire to be closer to God and grow in Him, and be a living testimony. Thank you both for opening up your lives and sharing. God Bless.

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