Browsing Category

FAMILY

FAMILY/ Marriage

Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 2 – Purposeful Living


These posts are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, I spend time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority
Priority #4 – Social Health – Immediate Family – Spouse (Social & Emotional Health)
Goal Setting & Reflection Date
Sunday, February 26
Invest in the social and emotional health of my marriage and strengthen my marriage by reading and discussing two books with Amy in 2012.  The first book must be a mutually agreed upon marriage book.  The second book may be any book of Amy’s choice.  Specific goals include:
~Mutually choose a marriage book.
~Amy choose a book of her choice.
~Decide how often to read and discuss each book.
~Develop a plan to ensure relevant discussion and dialogue.
Goal Status
Partially Completed
Thoughts
Amy and I had a date Friday night and during dinner we identified the books we will be reading together and developed a plan for when and how we will be reading them.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts


The marriage book we will be reading is The Five Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman.  My plan was to allow Amy to select the book, but instead I decided this is the book we needed to read.  Rather, it is the book I need to read.  I know Amy’s primary love language (Words Of Affirmation), but I still stink at it.  I am hoping that reading the book will allow me additional insight regarding how to do a better job of showing love in a way that is not natural for me.


We will read and discuss one chapter on each date.  Our dates always include dinner so we will talk about what we learned over a meal.  We made date nights a priority the day we got married and since we had kids we get out on average twice a month.  To ensure relevant discussion and dialogue we will each highlight parts of the book to share and/or discuss.  Amy has the freedom to highlight as many parts of each chapter as she wants.  I have also encouraged her to specifically highli9ght points she considers important for me to learn or to know.


On my end, I have to highlight a minimum of three sections per chapter for discussion.  Amy would prefer I highlight anything and everything I find interesting , but when I said that may mean nothing is highlighted we both agreed a minimum number of highlights is necessary.


For Amy’s choice she has asked me to watch two documentaries with her rather than reading a book.  This seemed reasonable since we can watch a movie in one sitting.



Forks Over Knives


The fist documentary is Forks Over Knives.  The second documentary is Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.  Both movies have heavily influenced Amy’s thinking about health and food.  It is important to Amy that I not only respect and encourage her eating habits, but that I also understand why she has transformed her diet.



Fat Sick & Nearly Dead


Amy was willing to negotiate with me to find time to watch these movies.  On two of our date nights we will order in some yummy food and watch the movies over a meal at home instead of going out.  To ensure relevant discussion and dialogue we will each identify parts of the movie that stood out to share and/or discuss.  Amy can pick out as many parts as she wants, while I have to identify a minimum of five.


In Parts 3-5 I will share some key things I learned and reflect on the entire experience.
Amy is pretty excited about this project which makes me feel excited as well.


Link To Foundation Post
Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts
Purposeful Living Series

Links To Additional Posts In This Series
Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 1
Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 3
Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 4
Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 5


1
Cancer Journey/ Easter/ HEALTH/ Love/ Spiritual

Indescribable Peace

In Christ Alone by Owl City

It was over 15 years ago, I was 21 years old, a newlywed.  I was sitting in church on Easter morning, terrified, with the question of “what if?” on my brain.

The day before, I received a phone call while at work, hairdressing.  I was drying my last client of the day, and I was called to the front for a phone call.

On the phone was my dermatologist, whom I had visited just a few days before.  “I’m sorry to have to tell you this over the phone, but you have skin cancer, and it is the kind that is not usually nice. Melanoma.  If we caught it in time, you will be fine.  If it is in the bloodstream already, your chances of beating it are very slim.

It was a very short phone call, I went back to drying my client’s hair, not sure how I was holding on to the hairdryer, as I felt numb all over.

I don’t remember much of that weekend, but I DO remember that it was Easter Sunday, and as I was sitting in church, the only thing I heard the Pastor say was..“you can experience the peace that passes all understanding when you know Jesus.”

Right as he said those words, a deep peace came over me.  Fear took a back seat, and I experienced for the first time what that verse meant.  It was such a sweet feeling.

 

That was early in my walk with God, and over the years I have grown in my knowledge of what it means to walk in peace and to trust in the plan He has for my life.

It has taken many, many lessons, and many screw ups on my part. God has proven over and over that He is worthy of my devotion, that He is good ALL the time, and that no matter what, He will never leave me.

My melanoma was caught in time, and surgery was enough to get rid of it.  I was thankful but so young.  I’m not sure I really got just how blessed I was that we caught it in time.

Fast forward 15 years.  As you all know, I had another cancer diagnosis last year.  Again, I felt the numbness that comes with that phone call.  This time I was much older, wiser, and there was so much more at stake.

I had a husband of 14 years whom I had grown to love so very much, who I desperately longed to grow old with, and  I had 3 little ones who would hurt deeply if anything happened to me.

These facts made peace hard to come by.  If you followed my journey on Caring Bridge, you know my emotions were so up and down and my peace and trust were tested all throughout my cancer fight.

Fear raged, but, I also experienced a peace and trust that I never thought was possible.  I fell very, very deep in love with my Jesus who has been by my side all these years.

I’ve always loved Him, ever since I was young, but oh the sweetness of Him that I experienced in this trial.  Beyond what words can describe.

 

So tomorrow, I find myself facing yet another Easter Sunday, where I will sit with the question of “what if?”  I have tests next week to check a spot on my kidney, and there is a possibility that cancer has visited me once again.

I have realized something this time, though.  Fear has lost its grip.

That doesn’t mean it won’t rear its ugly head at times, but it does not consume me, and I am FREE.  This trust I have found, it feels like rest, and that is what I am doing.

I am in His hands and I am at rest.  I no longer feel panicked when I think of my 3 precious girls and that question “what if?”

I realized this week, that I finally, FINALLY I have been able to go even deeper into my trust and give them to HIM.

I know that the amazing God who has loved me all through my years will have their little hearts and will take care of them, no matter what.

And that man of mine that I love so very much?  I know He has him, too.

I smiled and felt a chill when I realized this.  As the song says below, “no guilt in life, no fear of death, this is the power of Christ in me.”

This Easter is a special one.  I am remembering.  I am remembering how He chose death, so I can be free from the fear of death.  

He hung on that cross and took on my guilt, so I stand here free of guilt, despite how messed up I am.  He overcame death so that I can have eternal life, forever with Him.

Lyrics:

In Christ Alone, My Hope Is Found
He Is My Light, My Strength, My Song
This Cornerstone, This Solid Ground
Firm Through The Fiercest Drought And Storm
What Heights Of Love, What Depths Of Peace
When Fears Are Stilled, When Strivings Cease

My Comforter, My All-in-all
Here In The Love Of Christ, I Stand

There In The Ground His Body Lay
Light Of The World By Darkness Slain
Then Bursting Forth In Glorious Day
Up From The Grave He Rose Again
And As He Stands In Victory
Sin’s Curse Has Lost Its Grip On Me
For I Am His And He Is Mine
Bought With The Precious Blood Of Christ

No Guilt In Life, No Fear In Death
This Is The Power Of Christ In Me

From Life’s First Cry To Final Breath
Jesus Commands My Destiny

No Power Of Hell, No Scheme Of Man
Can Ever Pluck Me From His Hand
Till He Returns Or Calls Me Home
Here In The Power OfChrist

I’ll Stand
Till He Returns Or Calls Me Home
Here In The Power Of Christ

I’ll Stand
Here In The Power Of Christ

I’ll Stand

 

 

18
Counting Gifts/ FAMILY

One Thousand Gifts #41

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

Counting the gifts in my life has changed me.  I feel like I see the world through a different lens.  I find myself noticing and recognizing even the small things.  I find myself whispering words of thanks all throughout the day.  My mind has been training, trained to zoom in on the moments and small details that might have been missed had I not started counting the gifts.  To count the gifts IS a gift.

#866-#888

~facebook chat.  Honest words of love with a friend.  A precious friendship build through words typed and a reply button.

~ my 2 youngest on rollerblades and helmets that make their heads gigantic.  I jog behind them.  I can’t help but smile at the way their little buns move.  Their effort, legs pumping, arms swinging.

~words of encouragement from them as we go up a hill..”you can do it mom, keep running.”  One circles back.  Her roller blades make her tall and eye level.  She pats my shoulder to emphasis her support.

~beautiful spring evenings.  The sounds of nature.

~yellow daffodils dancing across a brunch table.  Faces of women I have grown to love surround.  Ambassadors who make me feel so supported.

~the pride and excitement in my child’s eyes as she talks long and serious to her Science Fair Project judge.  She is confident and I am proud.

~a wonderful weekend, focused in on my kids.

~trying on vintage wear at a boutique with my girls.  Oh the giggles!  Grown up dress up.

~a whole week without coffee.  I did it!  The gift of coffee entering my world again this week, in moderation of course!

~freshly juiced plant juice.  The energy it brings.  How it transforms my taste buds and makes me crave more plants.

~a garden planted.  The feeling of cool, moist soil in my hands.  The smell of earth. The anticipation of growth.

~eager little hands who hold out ready for seeds.  Little fingers carefully place the seed in the ground.  Gardening memories made.

~a chart system, made by husband, working wonders.  (posts coming up soon!)

4
FAMILY/ Marriage

Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 1 – Purposeful Living



These posts are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, I spend time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities. 

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1. 


Correct Priority
Priority #4 – Social Health – Immediate Family – Spouse (Social & Emotional Health)
Goal Setting & Reflection Date
Sunday, February 26
Goal
Invest in the social and emotional health of my wife and strengthen my marriage by reading and discussing two books with Amy in 2012.  The first book must be a mutually agreed upon marriage book.  The second book may be any book of Amy’s choice.  Specific goals include:
  • Mutually choose a marriage book.
  • Amy chooses a book of her choice.
  • Decide how often to read and discuss each book.
  • Develop a plan to ensure relevant discussion and dialogue.
Goal Status
In Progress

{1996}
Thoughts
The first couple years of our marriage Amy & I would read a marriage book together as a New Year’s Resolution.  By year three we discontinued this tradition and I’m not sure we have read a book together since.  It is easy to get lazy in marriage (especially for men).
During some reflection and goal setting focused on my wife I decided it was time to bring this tradition back.
Strong marriages don’t just happen by accident.  They need to be nurtured through commitment and sacrifice.

{2009}
Reading a marriage book together is an opportunity to prioritize our marriage.  It will allow us to focus on what is important to keep our marriage strong.
Reading a second book of Amy’s choice is an opportunity to enter Amy’s world.  It is an opportunity to learn what is important to her and show her I care about the details of her life.
Reading a marriage book with Amy won’t by itself lead to a perfect marriage.  Reading a book of Amy’s choice won’t by itself patch over all the times I failed to take interest in her day.  But they are steps in the right direction.  And lots of little steps will eventually get us where we want to go.

{2010, right before Amy’s cancer diagnosis}
In Parts 2 & 3 I will share the books we chose and some things I learned from each selection.  It might be a few weeks before this goal is completed, but I am committed to getting this done this year.

Link To Foundation Post
Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts
Purposeful Living Series

Links To Additional Posts In This Series
Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 2 
Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 3
Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 4
Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 5


2
Emotional Health/ Music Renews

In My Head and On My Ipod While Running

inspire

I’ve been running.
I used to DESPISE running.  It hurt.  It hurt my lungs and it hurt my body!
But, now I’m starting to get it.  I’m starting to figure out why those who run love to run.  I have found that as I have stuck it out and my body has adjusted, that it feels GOOD to run.  It is fast and freeing!
I started out very slow.  I would jog to get my heart rate up, then just walk fast, until I found my heart rate going down, then I would jog again to get it back up.  After treatment last year that it didn’t take much to get my heart rate up, and it has taken a long time for me to be able to run and feel good instead of make me feel faintish & like my lungs were going to explode.
I still hesitate to call myself a runner.  I’m not ready to commit to that title, and I still cheat quite a bit.  We have hills in our neighborhood, so I walk up the block, and run down it, then walk up the next block and run down it.  But boy, when I AM running, it just feels SO GOOD to be able to MOVE and feel alive.
The last 2 times I ran, I had my ipod on shuffle, and BOTH TIMES it started on the song, You Are Everything by Matthew West.  It’s not the best song to run to, a bit slow, but the lyrics sure made me smile, especially this part: 
And I can’t help but breathe You in, and breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart

It is a pretty inspiring lyric to listen to as blood is pumping and feet are going and breath is loud and real and alive.  Maybe that is why I have fallen so hard for running, the feeling of being “alive.”  Not just alive internally, which I always felt even when sick and weak because of my Jesus, but to also experience it in such a physical way–pretty awesome.

Right after that song, on came Pink, and a song that brought tears for me called ‘Who Knew.’  It is probably about a couple who broke up, but the lyrics made me think of some of the emotions my Todd might feel if I didn’t make it out of my cancer battle.  
These thoughts happen once in awhile, I am a changed person and thoughts of eternity and ‘what if’s’ just happen naturally.  It is not a bad thing anymore.  Not a fearful thing.  It keeps life in prospective so I think it is a healthy thing.  After a year and a half of being confronted by death, I am prepared for death, for a life of eternity with my Saviour, but I sure don’t want to leave the ones I love.  My sorrow would come from knowing the hurt and sadness it would cause those I love.  This song reflected those thoughts and made me run harder, pursuing health for my family.  They are my motivation to run.
Some of ‘Who Knew’ from Pink:

I’ll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we, until we meet again
And I won’t forget you my friend
What happened?

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
Cause they’re all wrong

And that last kiss I’ll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes it harder
I wish I could remember

But I keep your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew?

That song ends, and I’m running down the hill at dusk, with tears running.  I wipe them away and I find myself admiring but distracted by the pink sky.  I think it is funny to look at pink while listening to Pink. Between distraction of beauty and tears, I hope I don’t hit a bump and tumble. 


The song below comes on. It is by Muse, called  Supermassive Black Hole, and then– I REALLY got my run on, throwing caution to the wind.  I felt like I was a vampire being chased by a werewolf, or maybe a vampire playing baseball?  No, I’m not admitting to being a Twilight fan.  At all.  But I DID get my run on…and controlled my urge to howl.



That song ends, and I am almost home.  I turn off my ipod, take out my earphones, and just listen to the sounds of creation.  It is a quiet beautiful.  My breath and heart beat join in, and I worship my Creator, and whisper heard words.

I can’t help but breathe You in, and breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart 


———————–

Matthew West
You Are Everything

I’m the one with two left feet
Standing on a lonely street
I can’t even walk a straight line
And every time you look at me
I’m spinning like an autumn leaf
Bound to hit bottom sometime

Where would I be without someone to save me?
Someone who won’t let me fall

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can’t believe is happening
You’re standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is every day is filled with hope
‘Cause You are everything that I breathe for
And I can’t help but breathe You in, and breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart 

I’m the one with big mistakes
Big regrets and bigger breaks
Than I’d ever care to confess
But You’re the one who looks at me
And sees what I was meant to be
More than just a beautiful mess

You’re everything good in my life
Everything honest and true
And all of those stars hangin’ up in the sky
Could never shine brighter than You

4
FAMILY/ Kids/Family

Charts, Chores, Allowances, & Behavior-Part 1 – Purposeful Living




These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are
designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting
meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1. 

 

Correct Priority
Priority #5 – Social Health – Immediate Family–Children (Emotional Health)

Goal Setting & Reflection Date
Sunday, March 4

Goal
Invest in the emotional health of my children by revising our chart, chore, and allowance system.  Specifically this means:

  • Revising our list of morning, afternoon, and evening routines/chores.

  • Listing routines/chores in the order they should be completed.
  • Developing an easier system of connecting routines/chores to an allowance.  The system must be easy to record and monitor.  
  • Developing effective and easy to implement consequences for misbehavior.


Goal Status
In Progress

Thoughts
This week I spent time reflecting and setting goals to be a better parent.  To do a better job of meeting the emotional needs of my wonderful children.  
Amy & I have three amazing girls ages 12, 11, and 8 and they are number five on my list of correct priorities.  They are beautiful, and precious, and we are extremely proud them.  They bring joy to our lives and make us smile on a daily basis.   

{our girls-2010}

But even the best of kids can struggle if not given proper boundaries.

Two and a half years ago we developed a morning, afternoon, and evening chart system which included a list of chores for our girls to complete during each part of the day.  We also connected an allowance to the successful completion of these chores.  

While the charts have been modestly successful and have made life a bit easier over the past couple of years, the charts also have some serious flaws.  Enforcing them has become harder and harder and over the months Amy & I have stopped expecting them to get done almost completely.  Our girls still do some of the routines on their own, but there are many they will only do if nagged and many more that they don’t do at all.  As Amy likes to say, “We’ve got monkeys on our backs that don’t belong there.” I agree, we are spending too much time telling (nagging) our girls to get their responsibilities (monkeys) done.

This goal of revising our chart, chore, and allowance system is so important to me that I am moving it immediately to my weekly to-do list.  Over the next few weeks I will dedicate significant time to this project.  It is an area where I have missed the mark as parent and it is time to tighten things up.   

Not only will Amy & I benefit, but more important our girls will benefit.  They will benefit by learning the value of hard work and discipline.     

I plan to share the results of this work very soon!

Foundation Post
Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Additional Posts In This Series

Charts, Chores, & Allowances–Part 2

Charts, Chores, & Allowances–Part 3
Charts, Chores, & Allowances–Part 4
Charts, Chores, & Allowances–Part 5
Charts, Chores, & Allowances–Part 6
9
Decorating/ FUN/DIY/ HOME/ Kids/Family/ Organizing/ Simplifying

My Thoughts During Spring Break

Having my kids home for spring break has got me wondering…

…about this blog of mine. A hobby– turned passion– turned surprise income maker– now takes time.  I now have advertisers, sponsors and write occasional posts on products and get paid for it.  I find myself photographer, editor, writer, social media specialist, administrator, and receptionist all at the same time, and I LOVE IT! It has been a huge blessing, a surprise answer to prayer. We asked God about supplementing our income and what would be the best way to do that, and it seems like this blog is the answer. It brings me to tears when I think of the incredible gift I have been given, to spend time doing my passion hobby, and actually help the family income at the same time.  I have God and YOU ALL to thank for that.

But, as spring break is here, and kids are home, I find myself wondering how in the world am I going to do it all come summer break?  I have felt the pull the last 2 days, the pull between being a mom and being a blog writer.  My little ones win in this tug o’ war game.  I gladly give in.  For you see, I now know that the moments are so precious, and are not forever.  They pull, and I respond pulling them to me into arms that don’t ever want to let go.  Oh if I could freeze these precious moments!

Arms right now are empty, as I sit here in a few surprise quiet moments, as all 3 of my girls are at a friends house down the street.  Thank goodness for great neighbors, another answer to a prayer that we prayed.

Back to summer, I’m not sure how I will balance the two. I know so many of you do it, working mothers, and then those who are my heroes, single mothers.  But, I do know that my family must always come first, and I must notice and cling to those moments that so easily slip past when I am too focused on work.  I know my work is best when I am being the best mom and wife I can be.

I will probably sneak away to a coffee shop a couple evenings a week and take my laptop to the pool.

Another solution I have is bringing you into our days, sharing with you what we do, and keeping my posts simple. So today, you get to see what my youngest and I have been up to, and I will show you a glimpse of a fun little project we did yesterday with some of our neighbor kids.

I received a phone call from Grandma last night, “Can I take you all out for breakfast in the morning?  Can I drop little ones birthday gift off at the house, too?”  So our morning started out with the blessing beautiful weather, an awesome breakfast and time with Grandma.  Grandma Sharon knew that my little one could really use her own comfy chair in her room, and after looking all over the city, she found the MOST special and comfy one.  Such a great gift!  

 My little ones room has been a mess, and I was hoping this would be the motivation she might need to get her room in order.  I was right.  As we were out to breakfast, little one asks, “Mom, do you think we could work on my room today, maybe rearrange it and find a special place for my new chair?”  Yay!  Because I didn’t over schedule our Spring Break, I was able to say “yes” and now her room looks great!  She expressed such gratitude to me for helping her with her room, which melted me.

 {Here is what was eliminated from her room, most of which was under the bed! Eyyy..}

As always, when I get into one project, it seems like the rest of the house falls apart, so I will take some time this afternoon rescuing my house!  The weather is so amazing, I’m thinking it may be a great evening to pack a picnic and have Todd meet us at the park for dinner.  It is 81 degrees and sunny, with just a slight breeze.  Perfect!

Off I go to get to my rescuing, but before I do, here a quick peek at a super fun project we did yesterday.  I will have a “how-to” post coming soon!

It was one of our most fun projects, the girls loved it, and I love that it is healthy for them–no chemicals!

8
Top