My babies are now 12, 10 and 9! I just can’t believe it! Where do the years go? I am loving every minute of being a mom. I feel so very lucky to call these little lovelies mine, always remembering that they ultimately are His. I know He will always take care of them.
I love you, my three beauties!
I remember singing this hymn as a child, for it was sung to me.
This remake of it is so pretty.
Love.
Be not dismayed what e’er be tide
God will take care of you Beneath His wings of love abide God will take care of you
God will take care of you Through every day, o’er all the way *He will care for you* God will take care of you
Through days of toil when heart doth fail God will take care of you When dangers fierce your path assail God will take care of you
God will take care of you Through every day, o’er all the way He will care for you God will take care of you
God will take care of you Through every day, o’er all the way He will care for you God will take care of you
{push play, then click through to YouTube. It is worth it}
Our worship leader in church today lead us in prayer. In the middle of the prayer, she said “Lord, you make us beautiful.” This song above, “Beautiful Things,” immediately came to mind and it has been on repeat in my brain all day. It is a favorite of mine. Its words go perfectly with a reading I have found lately that has also been on my brain. I thought I’d share them with you:
From Jesus Calling:
As you become increasingly aware of My Presence, you find it easier to discern the way you should go. This is one of the practical benefits of living close to Me. Instead of worrying about what you should do if…or when… you can concentrate on staying in communication with Me. When you actually arrive at a choice-point, I will show you which direction to go.
Many people are so preoccupied with future plans and decisions that they fail to see choices they need to make today. Without any conscious awareness, they make their habitual responses. People who live this way find a dullness creeping into their lives. They sleepwalk through their days, following well worn paths of routine.
I, the Creator of the universe, am the most Creative Being imaginable. I will not leave you circling in deeply rutted paths. Instead, I will lead you along fresh trails of adventure, revealing to you things you did not know. Stay in communication with Me. Follow My guiding Presence.
______________________________
I love that my Creator does not “leave me circling in deeply rutted paths” but “leads along fresh trails of adventure.” As He does this, He guides me, changes me, grows me. Sometimes it is painful, change often is. Refining often comes through fire, and oh, how uncomfortable it can be!
Malachi 3:3
He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver..
A good refiner never leaves the crucible but, as the above verse indicates, “will sit” down by it so the fire will not become even one degree too hot and possible harm the metal. And as soon as he skims the last bit of dross from the surface and sees his face reflected in the pure metal, he extinguishes the fire.
Arthur Tappan Peirson
Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
Isaiah 64:8
But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
I heard this song in the car today, on the way to the doctors office.
Ready for confession time?
The last 2 days I have been holding a grudge against someone I love dearly, because I was hurt by them. Instead of lovingly communicating and talking it out, I just wallowed in my hurt and decided I was mad. Now granted, I have not felt great, physically, the past few days (I will get to why in a moment), but I’ve learned that physical pain is no excuse to treat someone with disregard, creating emotional pain for everyone involved.
This song spoke to my heart, a great reminder of what cancer has taught me this past year–we all need to live like we are dying. “86,400 seconds” is all we have in each day, and every second counts! I don’t want to be wasteful with my moments.
After a long discussion with a doctor today, I left his office and again, started thinking of the importance of this song.
I have been having stomach pain the last week. It is in the evenings, and there have been 2 nights where I thought I may have to go to the emergency room if it didn’t let up. They are checking my gallbladder for stones with an ultrasound tomorrow. They are also going to check my stomach lining next week.
This is the test that has me a little nervous. Women with lobular breast cancer are more likely to get ovarian and gastric (stomach) cancer metastasis. I just had a dear friend die from stomach cancer. I’ve seen firsthand what what would be in store. Facing reality, I know that could be me.
Despite this reality, I have a peace. A peace that “passes all understanding.” (Phil. 4:7) I know, KNOW there is a perfect plan for my life, no matter how long or short it is. I KNOW God has me in the palm of His hand, and nothing can separate me from His love. This makes me think of my favorite Bible verse:
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38,39
This peace, this unending love from my Creator, allows me..frees me.. to live like I’m dying. To release hurt, to come out from “hiding behind skin that’s too tough,” to say I love you enough. To admit fault, wrongdoing. To ask for forgiveness and to forgive. To let go of “Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda” and live like I shall, can and will.
To take the 86,400 seconds in a day and be present in them.
Won’t you join me?
“Live Like We’re Dying” by cutie Chris Allen 🙂 Sometimes we fall down, can’t get back up We’re hiding behind skin that’s too tough How come we don’t say I love you enough Till it’s to late, it’s not too late
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won’t come And we could make a feast from these crumbs And we’re all staring down the barrel of a gun So if your life flashed before you, What would you wish you would’ve done
Yeah, we gotta start Looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking If every second counts on a clock that’s ticking Gotta live like we’re dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we’re dying
And if your plane fell out of the skies Who would you call with your last goodbye Should be so careful who we live out our lives So when we long for absolution, There’ll no one on the line, yeah
Yeah, we gotta start Looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking If every second counts on a clock that’s ticking Gotta live like we’re dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we’re dying
Like we’re dying, oh, like we’re dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we’re dying
You never know a good thing till it’s gone You never see a crash till it’s head on Why do we think we’re right when we’re dead wrong You never know a good thing till it’s gone
Yeah, we gotta start Looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking If every second counts on a clock that’s ticking Gotta live like we’re dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we’re dying
Like we’re dying, oh, like we’re dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to Turn it all around or to throw it all away We gotta tell them that we love them While we got the chance to say Gotta live like we’re dying..
Is there someone in your life that hurls accusations at you? That won’t forgive your shortcomings? That reminds you on a consistent basis where you are failing? Who points fingers at you, making you feel like everything bad that happens in life is your fault? Who makes you feel like you have done something wrong when you have not? Or, when you have messed up, keeps holding up a mirror forcing you to stare at what you have already confessed?
Is that someone you? Is that someone you love dearly?
Whether or not it is another person or your own self- talk, accusations are meant to destroy. I believe they ultimately come from the one whom all evil flows– Satan, the Accuser.
From “A Confident Heart” by Renee Swope:
God’s spirit will convict you, but His heart will never condemn you. How do we know whether what we are experiencing is condemnation that comes from the Accuser, or the voice of conviction that comes from God?
Condemnation sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements- “Your such a failure,” “Your so hypocritical,” etc. When it is the Accuser, the tone is condemning, questioning and confusing. It leads to guilt and shame.
Conviction that comes from God will be specific. It reveals a sinful action and attitude and instructs us on what we need to do to right the wrong. He’ll give us steps to take to change behavior or attitude.
~Instead of Your such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend], the Spirit might say, You were really critical the way you talked to _______. (your husband, child, parent, etc.). you need to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then tell them something that will build them up instead of tearing them down.
~Instead of You’re so hypocritical, the Spirit might say, You judge others for gossiping, but you are doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor are at work. Tomorrow at lunch break, apologize for what you said and share a few things that are positive about her.
God uses conviction lovingly, to show us our sin and lead our hearts to repentance.
We’ve got to get our “good enough” from Jesus. When we belong to Him, we’re clothed in His righteousness, forever beloved and accepted; a constant recipient of His steadfast love and grace.
–Gary Morland
My prayer:
Lord, thank you for remaking me. Thank you for a love that is patient, is kind and keeps no record of my wrongs. I trust your perfect love for me and I know that because of that perfect love I don’t need to be. I will remain in your love and I will be confident of this: that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus!
The video above is powerful. The song is a favorite of mine. I hope you enjoy.
You Are More by Tenth Avenue North There’s a girl in the corner With tear stains on her eyes From the places she’s wandered And the shame she can’t hide
She says, “How did I get here? I’m not who I once was. And I’m crippled by the fear That I’ve fallen too far to love”
But don’t you know who you are, What’s been done for you? Yeah don’t you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you’ve made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You’ve been remade. Well she tries to believe it That she’s been given new life But she can’t shake the feeling That it’s not true tonight
She knows all the answers And she’s rehearsed all the lines And so she’ll try to do better But then she’s too weak to try
But don’t you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you’ve made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You’ve been remade.
‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done, But what’s been done for you. This is not about where you’ve been, But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel, But what He felt to forgive you, And what He felt to make you loved. You are more than the choices that you’ve made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You’ve been remade.
I went on a church retreat when I was in high school. During a mixer, we were challenged to think of a name, ending in the word “-one” that we wanted to be known by. A name to claim who we were and who God was making us more and more in to.
I chose the name “Shining-One”
I so desired to be one who shines the light of hope and love to a hurting world. I so wanted God to use little me to make a difference in this world. Now that I am an adult, I am learning that the hardest times to shine is in the mundane, little, everyday annoyances; and also in the larger, familiar moments that reveal patterns of unhealthy beliefs.
An example of an unhealthy beliefs that I am working on breaking is “I have to be perfect to be affirmed and loved.” To anyone who would call themselves a perfectionist, I would challenge you to look deeper into that and think about why you are. I was challenged to do this and boy, was it revealing. It revealed some deep rooted beliefs that I claimed a stake in years ago, that triggers negative reactions when imperfect life happens, when I choose to act imperfectly, or when I simply have made a mistake.
This morning something happened that immediately triggered thoughts of “I will never get it.” “there is no hope for me in this area.” ” I suck.” Can you just hear the perfectionism oozing out of each of those agreements I made with myself? I am learning to watch for these negative agreements that I make. I am learning I can exchange them for truth agreements. God helped me to that this morning. He helped me to choose to continue to shine for Him, instead of waste a day feeling like a total loser. I exchanged the nasty agreements above for these:
“I am completely whole and new in Christ, lacking nothing” “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” “He will bless the desires of my heart and my efforts. He will help me” “God has washed me pure, despite of my imperfections” “Only God is perfect, I will not be until I get to Heaven” “He is making me more and more like Himself everyday”
With these new agreements on my brain, I will continue on with my day and shine. ______________________________________
This Little Light Of Mine–Addison Road
There’s a little flame inside us all Some shine bright Some shine small The rains will come And the waters rise But don’t you ever lose your light
In this life you will know Love and pain Joy and sorrow So when it hurts When times get hard Don’t forget whose child you are
This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine Gonna let it shine
May you live each day With no regret Make the most of every chance you get Let your eyes get wide When you look at the stars With the same sense of wonder as a child’s heart
With the ones you love- Treasure the time And for those who are gone Keep the memories alive
Hold on to your dreams Don’t you ever let go There’s a fire inside you Burning with hope
This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine Gonna let it shine
There will be days when you wanna give up When the clouds settle in But after the rain comes the sun Don’t you ever forget Don’t forget Don’t, don’t forget
One day there will be no more pain And we will finally see Jesus’ face So until then I’m gonna try To brave the dark And let my little light shine
This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine Gonna let it shine
This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine Gonna let it shine Oh, shine Gonna let it shine There’s a little light inside us all
My heart has been heavy for people who are in pain around me.
We found out a man who has lived beside us for years, one whom I’ve only said hi to. One whose pain, disfunction, addiction and odd actions with my children caused me to fear him and avoid him, took his own life. I don’t know much about the situation, but I do know that he was hurting enough to believe that the only way out was to kill himself.
The one thing I did know about him was that he slept with the TV on. He lived in the basement of the house next door, and when I would walk down my stairs, from my upstairs window, I could see in a crack of his makeshift curtains –a shirt hanging in the window that always looked like a ghost. The crack showed only a slice of his TV, which was on 24/7, tuned to black and white shows of the past. I’m sure the TV was on the day they found his body. I am sad to think of this man, dying alone in a basement lit with black and white.
I regret not pushing past my fear to at least try to get to know his story and offer him some hope. We even could have talked television, it would have been a start, maybe have led to something more meaningful. I wish now to tell him that there is a God who knows, as the song below says,
“You know my heart is heavy And the hurt is deep But when I feel like giving up You’re reminding me That we all fall down sometimes But when I hit the ground You Lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go You lift me up when I can’t see Your heart is all that I need Your love carries me so I’m letting go”
Are you hurting today? If so, please take a listen and know that the God of the Universe loves you, no matter what.
Lift Me Up-{The Afters} You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up
Waiting for the sunrise Waiting for the day Waiting for a sign That I’m where you want me to be
You know my heart is heavy And the hurt is deep But when I feel like giving up You’re reminding me That we all fall down sometimes But when I hit the ground
You lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go You lift me up when I can’t see Your heart is all that I need Your love carries me so I’m letting go
You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up
I know I’m not perfect I know I make mistakes I know that I have let you down But you love me the same
And when I’m surrounded When I lose my way When I’m crying out and falling down You are here to
Lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go You lift me up when I can’t see Your heart is all that I need Your love carries me so I’m letting go
I can see the dawn is breaking I am feeling overtaken with your love With your love I don’t know what I can offer In this moment I surrender to your love To your love
You lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go
You lift me up when I am weak Your arms wrap around me Your love catches me so I’m letting go You lift me up when I can’t see Your heart is all that I need Your love carries me so I’m letting go
I can see the dawn is breaking I am feeling overtaken with your love
You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up with your love You lift me up
Happy Anniversary to my amazing husband of 15 years!
We have had quite a year, and our commitment to each other is stronger than ever. I am so thankful to God for the gift of my husband!
{a video of our last year} *If video gets “stuck” click on “youtube” at bottom right to watch it on YouTube ——————————- “Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands Till the shadows disappear Cause he promised not to leave us And his promises are true So in the face of all this chaos baby I can dance with you” –Dancing In The Minefields, Andrew Petersen
I love that I get to keep on dancing with you, Todd. Happy Anniversary, Baby. ————————————-
{A video of our years together that I made last year. I’ve had so many hair-do’s and a few don’ts!!}
