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She Is Thankful In Cancer

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I have a friend I want you all to meet. I have never met her in person, but consider her a dear friend.  We ‘met’ through her brother, who introduced us via Facebook when I was going through treatment for cancer.  He knew I needed to know his sister.  She is a miracle survivor, living with stage 4 breast cancer. Her cancer metastasized to her bones & brain, but her tumors are staying stable and ‘quiet.’

She is truly a miracle, but she knows that her status could change at any time.

She knows pain, both physical and emotional.  While her cancer stayed quiet, she watched her brother-in-law suffer with a reoccurrence of brain cancer, and was there for his family as he battled long & hard, and her faith never wavered.  I wrote a bit about his life here.

Michelle is one of the most courageous people I know. She lives her life in the moment & knows what it means to be thankful.  Her words encouraged me many times during my fight, and they continue to do so.  She updated her Caring Bridge site this week, and what she had to say just blew me away.  I knew I had to share it with you all, as it was such a tangible example of what Thanksgiving is all about.

{The Mellinger Family}
It is an honor to introduce you to my friend, Michelle Mellinger:
THANKSGIVING:
We are celebrating one of my favorite holidays of the whole year on Thursday.  It causes me to be sentimental, family-oriented, and most of all thankful.  I wanted to share why I am THANKFUL FOR CANCER.  Yes, that is hard to say, but so very true when I look back over the last three years.  
Cancer has given me HOPE:  Many people find that hope and cancer don’t go hand in hand.  But without hope cancer is debilitating.  Without hope, you spend your days wallowing in the how and why’s and spend little time enjoying the sights and sounds around you.  Hope does not mean that I am in denial about what is to come, hope is the empowerment to know that whatever is to come I can handle it.
Cancer has given me COMPASSION:  Before my diagnosis, I really didn’t SEE those around me.  Cancer has given me the ability to look into someones eyes and feel their pain.  It is given me empathy and a desire to want to help and encourage people.
Cancer has given me a FUTURE:  most people immediately think that cancer takes away your future.  I used to believe that too.  I used to live in the moment, not worrying about what was ahead for my life.  I didn’t use to dream about my future or what God had in store for me.  Now my future is tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.  I am investing in today so that my future will live on through my children. 
Cancer restored my RELATIONSHIP with my Savior:  I had a hard time BC (before cancer) wanting to spend time with Jesus.  I didn’t have a passion to be in the Word or kneeling in prayer.  I had it under control.  My life was going exactly how I had planned.  I had a great job, awesome husband, and two beautiful children.  But it didn’t go as planned, my life wasn’t unfolding the way I had envisioned.  I have found that God had a new plan.  I don’t always like the new plan, but I am trusting in Him to show me what it is that He wants me to do with my life.
Cancer has shown me that MIRACLES do exist:  I am a miracle!  It is not of my doing.  It is God’s doing.  I used to think miracles only happened in Bible times, but they still happen today.  If you looked at my medical records they would show a woman that had six months to live.  They would cause some doctors to throw their hands up and say there is not much we can do.  My God has allowed the medical treatments at the hands of my doctors and nurses to do amazing things.  They have kept me alive for three years longer that most would have imagined.  I still don’t know why God allows some people to do well and others he takes to his heavenly home way too quickly.  I just know that that there is something more I am to do before he takes me home, maybe it is to remind people that miracles do still exist.
Cancer has given me a THANKFUL heart.  I am so thankful for my family and friends who stand beside me everyday and encourage me to keep on plugging along and not give up.  I am thankful for my children who remind me how important hugs and kisses are and inspire me to be a better mother.  I am thankful for a husband who loves me when I am not lovable and gives me a reason to keep on fighting and living. 
I hope you all find hope, compassion, a future, Godly restoration, miracles, and a thankful heart.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all.                                                   
 Michelle
//
Amazing insight, isn’t it?  It just touched my heart so much to read her words, and made me think of this song I’ve shared below.  She lives this song everyday.  I love how she said. “Hope does not mean that I am in denial about what is to come, hope is the empowerment to know that whatever is to come I can handle it.” I know that she can say this because of her trust in God, and because of this trust, she can and does live out 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give Thanks In Everything.”
To follow Michelle journey, see her Caring Bridge page.

 

5
Love/ Spiritual

Seventy Times Seven

The song in the video below made me think, and honestly, I didn’t want to.  I just wanted to plug my ears and ignore it…

…these lyrics:
“This is love.  This is hate.  We have a choice to make.”
Does this mean if I’m not choosing to love, then I am choosing to hate?  
Ouch.  
To often I wait around to make the choice until my emotions change.  I sit around in my funk and wait until I feel like being forgiving.  I wait until I feel like the person I have issues with is acting like one who deserves to be loved or at least acts in a way to make it easier to love them.  But this is not the way of Jesus.  
His Word says:
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.
He says when asked how many times to forgive:
“Not seven, but seventy times seven.”
It is not natural.  It doesn’t feel right.  It doesn’t feel good.  
Yet, it is the way of Jesus, and I call myself a Christ- follower.  Who and what am I following really?  Love? Or hate?
And these lyrics:
“Give me grace to forgive them, cuz I feel like the one losing”
It has to be from Him, His grace, for me to take a step and swallow my pride and choose to love.  To face the real possibility of rejection.  To be brave enough to love despite not feeling loved, resting in the One who loves completely.  Is His love enough?  Do I grasp just how amazing His love is?  Do I rest enough in it that I allow it to fill the void, the breaks that happen to my heart from others who are also just needing grace and their cracks filled up, too?
Thank goodness God doesn’t wait to love me until I am acting like one who deserves to be loved.  Why do I think this is ok for me to do this to another?  
Ephesians 4:32

FAMILY/ Love/ Marriage/ Music Renews/ Spiritual

Everything Moves But You

{Click here to order this 5×7 art print in your choice of color}

Why is it that the minute I press “publish” on a post like yesterdays, it seems like right around the corner is test for me to put into practice the words I proclaim?

I write today because I want you all to know that despite so many blessings, life is tough, and brings many opportunities of growth.

My ‘test’ is really not a huge deal, it is a silly little disagreement between my husband and I that I know in time will work its way into an understanding, but in the meantime…emotions sure can swirl.  When you add the messiness of living life with other people, whether it is kids or family or friends, (or all of the above in one day!) well, life can feel like a tornado.

If you know me, you know I am a highly emotional person. I feel things deeply. When I took the Clifton strengths test, my top 5 strengths are all “feely” and emotional type strengths. My number one strength is empathy.  I’m just a bundle of feelings and emotions, that is how God made me.

Usually I love that. It makes me who I am and I feel like it allows me to live a life of depth and care for others.  But, there are some days when I despise it. Yeah, strong word, but true. It would be so nice to have a switch to shut the emotions off, or at least turn them down. I’m not talking tears here, well, sometimes, but usually when I need to turn it down a bit, it is when I feel angry or hurt or when I’m taking things too personally. The result can be a pit in my stomach that can literally hurt at times.

I’m learning to recognize that pit in my stomach feeling and use it as a warning to take heed and watch my reaction. Sometimes it just is not fast enough. Sometimes I just need time to sort out the “whys” of what I’m feeling, to sort out the reason for the intensity, so that I can have a discussion that is fair without my junk in the way.

So that is what I am doing today. I am sorting out my junk, in order to have a fair discussion. As I do, I am so thankful for my Lord.  I’m so thankful that as emotions swirl and fear comes along to wreak its havoc, that in the midst of it is this amazing, steady, unmoving God that says to me:

“Amy, I’ve got this. I am for you. You can trust me. You don’t need to change anyone but yourself, leave others to me. I am the Lord your God. Rest child. Speak your truth in peace, then let go and allow Me to work. I am for your marriage. I love Todd, He too is my child. I am for Him, too. He walks with me and follows my lead, you see this in Him clearly, daily– so trust that–which means ultimately, trust Me.”

Oh friends, isn’t this hard to do sometimes? To let go and trust? Especially when we are convinced we are right?  I know for me it is. Oh, to care more about doing what is right and acting right instead of trying to convince someone else that I am right!  Too often, once I take a step back, I see that really, I never was right. Ugh.

I think of those of you who can’t say that your husband walks daily with the Lord, and I want to encourage you that you can still trust the goodness of God. He is good. He is incapable of being or doing anything but good. He is trustworthy. He is immovable and solid when you feel like everything else can crumble around you. He is the still in the storm, and He is with you always.  He will never leave you, or forsake you.

So today, I cling to that. I rest in His stillness. I allow Him to remind me who He is and because of who He is I don’t have to solve anything or convince anyone of anything. That is His job if it needs to be done and He will do it when and if He chooses.

So I let go of the swirling, I cling to the still, the unchanging, and I feel free.

When I was a child, I held to my mother tightly
Then I grew taller and left to follow my dreams
I went after my dreams, and some of them brought me delight
But they didn’t bring me everything I hoped they might

I fell into love like a skydiver in the clouds
It wasn’t enough, no, we couldn’t sustain it ourselves

All the things I pursue
Well, they stay for a season,
Then everything moves,
Everything moves, oh
My towers fall,
But you aren’t leaving me
‘Cause everything moves but you

I trained my body to run and not be weary
I worked and I read how to raise a better family
Then I bought a good house on the safe side of town, because I could
And as long as my life stays like this, I’m feeling good

Until my bones become brittle against my will
My heart is home, oh, to make the earth stand still

All the things I pursue
Well, they stay for a season,
Then everything moves,
Everything moves, oh,
My towers fall,
But you aren’t leaving me
‘Cause everything moves but you

You…I never outgrow you

You are a tree always in bloom
You are a hall of endless rooms
A living fountain springing up
I’m satisfied but never done
I’m never done
With you

Chorus

8
FAMILY/ Kids/Family/ Love/ Marriage

Date Night With My Man

My man asked me out on a date first thing this morning.  I love that he still does this.  He makes it a priority to take me out at least every other week, and has since the day we married.  I’m a lucky lady!

I knew exactly where I wanted to go.  There is a place in town called Bread & Cup, and they do something pretty special on Saturday nights.  They shop at the Farmer’s Market which is downtown every Saturday, and make the menu for the evening based on the fresh, local produce they find.  I LOVE that!  I was at the Farmer’s Market this morning with my oldest girl, and the produce looked AMAZING.  

The problem was, when we saw the price of such a grand idea, we decided it was a bit much for our budget right now and instead ordered some Bread with Hummus & Roasted Tomato Pesto, & some wine.  We decided to enjoy the outdoor atmosphere, wet our appetites a bit on great sourdough bread and dip, and then hit another place later on for some sushi, which would be a bit more affordable.

The weather was amazing.  It was about 80 degrees with a slight breeze.  

The bread and dip was perfection, and quite filling!

Just as we were finishing up, the clouds rolled in and we started hearing sprinkles hit the roof above us. It made such a calming sound, so we sat just a bit longer.

I had to take a pic of my new wedge shoes.  I’ve been wanting a pair of these ‘match with everything’ colored shoes.  They are super comfortable and were 1/2 off at Famous Footwear. I love a good deal and a good shoe!  Let us all notice that I need a pedicure.  I’m thinking that should be something I do right after the kids go back to school. 
We left Bread & Cup and went just a couple blocks over to Dozo Sushi & Grill.  I’m a big fan of their sushi.
By now the rain was really starting to come down, but thanks to Todd dropping me off at the door I stayed dry.

I am a huge sushi lover and have to have it at least every couple weeks.  Todd loves it too, and he especially loves the music they play at this place, which he comments on every time we go.  I think it’s cute.  

 We shared just one order of sushi as the bread really did fill us both up quite a bit.

I took a few shots outside while waiting for my man to pick me up after we ate.  I love being downtown!  The rain had stopped but the clouds still looked like they had a bit left to give..

We have desperately needed rain here in the Midwest, so this was a welcomed site.

A coffee house right next to the Sushi Grill.  How perfect.  My two favs.

 Now we are home, kids are settled down, and Todd is waiting for me to get this post up so we can finish our date.  He has popcorn and a movie all ready to go.  I am a very spoiled and blessed girl!

4
Love/ Music Renews

Something Beautiful


{Something Beautiful by Newsboys}

I heard this song in the car this morning, it is an oldie but goody.  It is a happy tune but this time I got a bit teary as I listened.

My niece is getting married in 2 days!  We may not be jumping up and down during the ceremony like in the above video, but it WILL be a celebration for sure!

I feel pretty sentimental about it, as I remember her dancing with me at my wedding (16 years ago!) during the dollar dance.  She told her mom “I want to dance with the princess.”  Aww.  Now it is her turn to be princess.

She has grown into a lovely young lady whom I admire much.  I am  thankful for her example to my 3 girls, they have always looked up to their “older girl cousin.”  I also admire her strength, as she has an autoimmune disorder that gives her pain and issues.  I learn from her, I watch her deal with her health hardships with bluntness and humor and I love it!

Hannah, you did good.  You got a great guy and you are going to make a beautiful bride and great wife. You have made this Aunt proud.  I love you!
__________

The song also made me think of all the beautiful things in this life that I have grown to have the eyes to see.  My eyes are especially open, due to my recent MRI test/scare & my Grandpa’s passing.

I love living!  I love life!  I love my family!

I see so much beauty everywhere:

~in my daughters eyelashes resting on her cheek while she sleeps

~in the sun reflection sparkle at the pool

~in elderly men, long time friends, greeting each other at the coffee shop

~in the lines at the sides of my husbands eyes that seem to twinkle when he smiles at me

So. Much. Beauty.

__________________

Something Beautiful by Newsboys

I wanna start it over 
I wanna start again 
I want a new a new beginning 
One without any end 
I feel it inside 
Calling out to me 

CHORUS 
It’s a voice that whispers my name 
It’s a kiss without any shame 
Something beautiful 
Like a song that stirs in my head 
Singing love will take us where 
Something’s beautiful 

I’ve heard it in the silence 
Seen it on a face 
I’ve felt it in a long hour 
Like a sweet embrace 
I know this is true 
It’s calling out to me 

CHORUS 
It’s a voice that whispers my name 
It’s a kiss without any shame 
Something beautiful 
Like a song that stirs in my head 
Singing love will take us where 
Something’s beautiful 

It’s the child on her wedding day 
It’s the daddy that gives her away–Father 
Something beautiful 
When we laugh so hard we cry 
It’s the love between you and I 
Something beautiful 

1
FAMILY/ Marriage

Two Books To Strengthen My Marriage 2012-Part 4 – Purposeful Living

These posts are written by Todd (Amy’s husband) designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, I spend time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities. 
If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority
Priority #4 – Social Health – Immediate Family–Spouse (Social & Emotional Health)

Goal Setting & Reflection Date
Sunday, February 26

Goal
Invest in the social and emotional health of my wife and strengthen my marriage by reading and discussing two books with Amy in 2012.  The first book must be a mutually agreed upon marriage book.  The second book may be any book of Amy’s choice.  Specific goals include:
·         Mutually choose a marriage book.
·         Amy chooses a book of her choice.
·         Decide how often to read and discuss each book.
·         Develop a plan to ensure relevant discussion and dialogue.

Goal Status
Partially Completed

Thoughts
Instead of a book, Amy asked if we could watch two documentaries that were important to her. I wrote about the watching the first documentary, here, in Part 3. On the second Saturday of May Amy and I ordered in food and watched and discussed the 2nd documentary Forks Over Knives.  I got Chinese food from the mall which, unfortunately, wasn’t all that great.  Amy picked up some salmon, asparagus, rice pilaf & greens for herself from Granite City.   

Project Reflection
My thoughts on the film are below, but most important are my thoughts on my relationship with Amy and why we watched this film together. 

Putting myself in Amy’s shoes with her cancer history, this film would give me a lot of hope and confidence that I was on the right path regarding diet.  There were stories in the film, but mostly this documentary provided lots of research and data to back up its dietary claims.   

As I mentioned in Part 3 of this series, I am proud of Amy for the research she has done in identifying the most healthy diet for her in her fight against cancer recurrence.   This film presents some pretty compelling evidence in support of a plant-based diet.

I enjoyed watching and discussing the film with Amy. 

Film Summary

Forks Over Knives is a 2011 documentary which examines the claim that most degenerative disease can be prevented, controlled, or even reversed by rejecting the traditional American diet of animal-based and processed foods and embracing a primarily plant-based diet. 

Film Ideas & Statistics That Stood Out To Me
The casein study done with rats was fascinating. Dr. Colin Campbell wrote The China Study: The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted And the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss, And Long-term Health, in which they studies the affects of casein on rats.  Casein is a milk protein that turned cancer on and off in rats.  Rats on a 20% casein diet developed cancer almost immediately.  Rats on a 5% casein diet did not develop cancer.  Rats that did develop cancer saw it reverse in many cases when put on a 5% casein diet.

Reviewing dietary guidelines from the FDA over the past sixty years it is remarkable how much poor guidance it has given. 

The healthiest countries in the world do not consume a western based diet.  Instead these countries consume primarily plant-based foods like fruits, vegetables, and legumes. 

Processed foods are calorie-dense (which makes them taste good), but lack healthy nutrients which prevent us from feeling full.  Hence we keep eating and eating well beyond what we need.  This is a partial cause of rampant obesity in America.

Processed foods release the same chemicals in our bodies and brains as drugs do.  In a sense, as a country we are addicted processed foods.  This is one reason why it is so hard for people to change their diet and eat more healthy. 

The 20-year “China Study” found 9000 direct correlations between diet and disease. 

Film Reflection
I am betting most people would not enjoy this documentary very much.  It was pretty dry and lacked personality or warmth.

But I really enjoyed it.  I am a facts and figures guy.  I am less interested in your opinion and more interested in the evidence backing your opinion.

And this film is chalk full of interesting and compelling evidence backing up the health benefits of plant-based foods.

Overall, I agreed with most of the claims of the film. 

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