“Better Than A Hallelujah” by Amy Grant
“We pour out our miseries…God just hears a melody“
Ultimately, God desires communion with us. Relationship.
Not pasted smiles and raised hands and a forced “Hallelujah”
He wants us to come to Him raw and real.
Sometimes raised hands, smiles, and Hallelujahs are what is real.
Beautiful moments when we can’t help ourselves.
But other times, pounding fists and cries of “why?” and “help!!” are all we can give.
He wants those moments of ours, too.
Who better to take our fits to, who better to call out to, but the God of the Universe who can actually
do something with them?
Last night I had a session of crying out to my Lord. I took a young lady whom I have grown to love so very much home, and the minute she and her friend stepped out of my car, a lump in my throat formed. I hurt for her. I tell my Lord how hard it is to know the pain of a 13 year old girl who lost her Mommy to cancer. How amazing it is that she excitedly tells me her plans to honor her Mom as it has been almost exactly a year. What strength! How hard it is to know that this past year, she has had to be stronger than I could ever imagine being.
While it was still summer, she sings a song to me, one written for her Mom. In it, she repeats over and over her desire to make her Mom proud. It is the desire of her heart, a passionate, desperate desire.
Z-I KNOW your Mom would be so proud. She would be so proud of the smiles you give and joy you bring. She would be proud of that feisty spirit in you that yes, at times can make you stumble but you always get back up and gain perspective. She would be so proud of your willingness to learn and grow. She would love how you laugh at yourself, how you so vulnerably express sadness, how much you light up when you talk about her, how often you talk about her.
She would be so proud of your nomination for the Empowerment program, of how your teachers have seen the leadership qualities in you despite your difficult year.
There is no question in my mind. She would be so proud.
I cried a few tears to release the lump. I accept that which I cannot understand. I know I am heard.