“Better Than A Hallelujah” by Amy Grant
“We pour out our miseries…God just hears a melody“
Ultimately, God desires communion with us. Relationship.
Not pasted smiles and raised hands and a forced “Hallelujah”
He wants us to come to Him raw and real.
Sometimes raised hands, smiles, and Hallelujahs are what is real.
Beautiful moments when we can’t help ourselves.
But other times, pounding fists and cries of “why?” and “help!!” are all we can give.
He wants those moments of ours, too.
Who better to take our fits to, who better to call out to, but the God of the Universe who can actually
do something with them?
Last night I had a session of crying out to my Lord. I took a young lady whom I have grown to love so very much home, and the minute she and her friend stepped out of my car, a lump in my throat formed. I hurt for her. I tell my Lord how hard it is to know the pain of a 13 year old girl who lost her Mommy to cancer. How amazing it is that she excitedly tells me her plans to honor her Mom as it has been almost exactly a year. What strength! How hard it is to know that this past year, she has had to be stronger than I could ever imagine being.
While it was still summer, she sings a song to me, one written for her Mom. In it, she repeats over and over her desire to make her Mom proud. It is the desire of her heart, a passionate, desperate desire.
Z-I KNOW your Mom would be so proud. She would be so proud of the smiles you give and joy you bring. She would be proud of that feisty spirit in you that yes, at times can make you stumble but you always get back up and gain perspective. She would be so proud of your willingness to learn and grow. She would love how you laugh at yourself, how you so vulnerably express sadness, how much you light up when you talk about her, how often you talk about her.
She would be so proud of your nomination for the Empowerment program, of how your teachers have seen the leadership qualities in you despite your difficult year.
There is no question in my mind. She would be so proud.
I cried a few tears to release the lump. I accept that which I cannot understand. I know I am heard.
Michele Villano
October 5, 2012 at 8:12 pmWhere can I find these verses? Our family is going through a difficult trial and I am trying to teach my child about faith and forgiveness.
Amy Bowman
October 6, 2012 at 12:31 amPsalm 34:18. May God bless you and your family…I’m sorry to hear you are going through difficulties.
April Bray
October 9, 2015 at 3:43 pmThank you so much. God Bless you <3
jules ... bedheadandbrainfarts.blogspot.com
October 5, 2012 at 3:48 pmWhat a great post! I needed that today…everyday! God is so great. My kids have this cd in the car with songs about verses for their wed night program. I was having a really bad day, we get home and shut the car off and my two year old says something, I can’t understand her. My 6 year old says “she wants you to play that song ‘Crush’ before we go in.” The verse in this “Crush” song is: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are CRUSHED in spirit.” It was like she knew I needed to hear it. 🙂
Anonymous
October 5, 2012 at 12:47 pmI just read this chapter for my morning devotions this morning. God definitely heards. Keep the faith.
Anonymous
October 5, 2012 at 9:56 amI love how you’ve taken this young girl under your wing. You have no idea how much she’ll always remember your kindness during these formative years she’s in. God Bless You and Forever Keep you and Z in the palm of His Hand.
Letícia Dias
October 4, 2012 at 11:41 pmI would like to know which versicle is this!!! XXX
Kathy
October 4, 2012 at 9:32 pmI am a long time follower, yet I rarely comment. This post however brought tears to my eyes, what a beautiful post! I can’t imagine what this young girl is going through, but thank God that through Him, we have hope. =) Blessings to you!
Amy Bowman
October 5, 2012 at 4:55 pmThank you for being such a faithful follower! Thank you for feeling the sadness with me, she is such a sweet girl. Blessings to YOU and thank you for your comment.
Audrey's mom
October 4, 2012 at 9:22 pmIt is 2 1/2 years today since my son died from cancer. I love this song, because it captures how God covers us with His love if only we will reach out to Him. Thank you for your encouraging words
Amy Bowman
October 5, 2012 at 4:53 pmI am so sorry to hear of the pain you have had to endure in losing a child. The whole time I was sick I thought..”it could have been one of my kids.” That is pain I can’t even imagine. Thank you for letting me know the post encouraged you. Blessing to you.