Emotional Health

What Am I Responsible For?

I have the privilege having a super wise man in my life.  He’s taught me about my “Circle Of Responsibility,” which truly is life changing for me.  This is great for anyone who has struggled with the ability to say “no” and put up healthy boundaries, for anyone who is a people pleaser, and anyone who just wants to love others well.  I share it with his permission, and hope it helps someone else as much as it has helped me.
                                                  
                                              Circle Of Responsibility

                      Wrong                                                          Right
                                                        
When I Feel Responsible For Others                When I Feel Responsible To Others

I…                                                                         I…
               Fix                                                                   Show Empathy
               Protect                                                             Encourage
               Rescue                                                             Share
               Control                                                            Confront
               Carry Their Feelings                                        Level
               Don’t Listen to Words, Feelings,                     Am Sensitive
                  or Real Feelings

I Feel…                                                                  I Feel…
              
               Tired                                                                 Relaxed
               Anxious                                                            Free
               Fearful                                                              Aware
               Liable                                                               High Self Worth
               Afraid                                                               Humble

I Am Concerned With…                                          I Am Concerned With…

              The Solution                                                      Relating Person
                                                                                             To Person
               Answers                                                            Feelings
               Circumstances                                                   The Person
               Being Right              
               Details
               Performance                                             I Believe That if I Just
                                                                                   Share Myself,
                                                                                  the Other Person
                                                                                  Has Enough To
                                                                                  Make It On Their Own.

I Am a Manipulator                                                 I Am a Helper and Guide

I Expect the Person to Live Up to My                     I Can Trust, Let Go…
Expectations!!        

               Curing                                                                Caring

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  • Kelly Morris
    June 20, 2010 at 4:24 am

    Amen!!! Good stuff!

  • Leslie @ Farm Fresh Fun
    June 19, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    Just perfect for me! Will print out!!!
    Thank you AGAIN! 🙂

  • Jodz
    June 19, 2010 at 9:13 am

    Wow! Awesome post. Thanks

  • Julia
    June 18, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    Well, this knocked me over the head with a sledge hammer. I have been feeling responsible FOR my mother and I should be feeling responsible TO her. Now, for the process of changing how I look at her situation, and mine. Thanks. I have been feeling very stressed and like things should be FIXED.

  • Sarah
    June 18, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Sarah
    June 18, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    This is just what I needed to read today . . . thank you!

    Best,
    Sarah

  • Theresa @ 612Riverside
    June 18, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    Wonderfully said, I need to learn to follow this, I tend to see myself on the wrong side as I read it. Thank you husband for me. Theresa

  • The Pennington Point
    June 18, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    Very good post! The Bible gives us our places of authority and we are definitely not responsible for anyone else. It is freeing, like you said, relaxing. What is hard for me is that sometime people read my unwillingness to rescue them as coldness. But it isn’t. It’s a love for them and an understanding of my place. I appreciate you sharing this. I am going to mull on it today, pray that the Lord will use it to encourage me, and your readers. Thanks. Lisa~

  • Brook
    June 18, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    This is a wonderful resource? Who can I give credit to so I can use this with my clients? 🙂

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