I see you, Mother.
You are mine. A gift.
I take a minute to see of all the good in you, and it takes many minutes as one memory leads to another.
Minutes tick, memories come, and I know some of the most life- giving and life-serving moments you gave me, are the ones that I have no memory of.
I see Mom, young
The moments you spent with me as a babe, nursing & bathing. Whispering sweet nothings and singing melodies. I know you sang to me with that beautiful voice of yours, so beautiful that at one point in time you traveled and shared with others your melodic singing voice.
You have told me so many times that some of your favorite memories are of us as babes, on your hip. You would recount the memories and start to bounce, and I can picture it years before, Mother bouncing daughter on her hip. A mother’s hip, the perfect perch, a shapely mold made for bouncing babies.
I grow, as do my 4 siblings, and Mother grows busy. I now am grown and have 3 of my own, and I, too, have grown busy. How oh Mom, did you do it with 5?
I know you sacrificed. I know you spent days serving. Constant mouths to feed and bills to pay and house to clean, laundry to fold. So many underlying worries that I was too young to understand.
You did her best and yet would say your best was not good enough. Don’t we all, us Mothers, feel this way? I disagree, Mommy, I saw your best. What more can one do but their best?
I see Mom, sad.
The day wedding ring slipped & flew across the floor and disappeared forever in an air vent. You walked committed to a marriage, with a finger naked too many years. Oh if only I were older then and known better, I would find a way to get a ring right back on that finger. I would make you one if I had to, for I know this absent ring broke your heart and you longed for the symbol of completeness and commitment. These things matter to us women. I am now woman and I play with my own wedding ring as I pause from writing, thinking of your pain. I remember your beautiful ring, and those long elegant fingers, and I too, now mourn. I mourn for what became and how your heart broke when marriage broke and the pain nearly split you in half. I mourn that I was not able to comfort you in your pain, for broken marriages bring pain to whole families, and my own paralyzed, as did my age.
I see Mom, happy.
You sing silly. Do YOUR Ears Hang Low? Do They Wobble To & Fro? Can You Tie Them In A Knot, Can You Tie Them In a Bow? and How Much Is That Doggy In The Window? I hear your giggle, I see at times your child-like delight in the quirky details that to many walk through this life and miss. I see you embrace the part of yourself that is free spirit, I learn to let go of my control as I watch you delight in the free.
I see Mom, most loyal.
One of the most precious gifts you have shown to me is how to be loyal. You never speak ill of your children, especially from one of your children to another. You do not judge us. You are not a gossip. I know I can share with you and you will keep it to yourself.
I see Mom, forgiving.
In many ways, but one specific is we both know I can be so slow in returning phone calls. Your forbearance in this makes me want to call. I will show the same grace to my children, for I have learned from you.
Happy Mothers Day!