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FAMILY/ Love/ Music Renews/ Spiritual

Held Together By The Breath Of Heaven

I have always loved this song, but it took on a special meaning for me last Christmas, as I was weak from finishing 4 rounds of chemotherapy, and knew a double mastectomy was coming my way right after Christmas.  I found much comfort in this song, especially the chorus.  I find myself continuing to cling to the words the last few days.  My MRI was finally approved by insurance, and I will have it on Monday night, results a few days after. 
I honestly don’t know what I would do without the hope of Heaven, and His comfort– His breath whispers to me– as I continue to face my own mortality.  It is a place I don’t like being, but at the same time, it is a place where I have the opportunity to release myself completely to His plan, and to practice a deep trust.  It is a place where I am able to practice what I proclaim, and a place where what I proclaim has become so very tangible and real.  These are the gifts, ones I am beginning to think I would not trade, even for health.  
For my heart is healing, which is so meaningful and life-giving.  Far beyond physical healing.  Of course I would love to stay physically healthy, but I now know deeply what matters.  Would I have been able grasp this without the tangible fear of death? Would “I know, that I know, that I know,” without pain and suffering?   I do not think so.  Would I be able to “remember the works of the Lord” and who He became to me in these moments?  The memories would not be so vivid, they would not “stick” so easily. 
Would I know what it means to be “held together by the breath of Heaven?”  Maybe, but I don’t think it would be as sweet, and I would not allow myself to be held as readily as I do now.
The breath of this God-child, this God who “became flesh and dwelt among us,” to bring hope & healing–this is why I celebrate, and this is why I love Christmas.
Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Love/ Music Renews/ Spiritual

Health Update

{my momma came and took some pics of me}

Well, I saw Dr. M today, my Oncologist.  She is the most calming person!  She walks in and brings her smile, knowledge and care with her, which I always appreciate.

She felt my lump area, and was able to push through it and find a 1/2 centimeter area that she is wondering about.  It is in the same area that a lymph node was found in my upper chest, right under my old port incision.  She wants to look into it further with a breast MRI next week.  I have an appointment on Monday and will have results a few days after that.  Even if it is just a lymph node, it is right in the path between where my old tumor was and positive nodes under my arm, so she wants to keep a close eye on it.  She also said that usually you should not be able to feel lymph nodes, and this is the second time in a month that she has, so an MRI is the way to go.

{It snowed today! Snow boots rock!}

She still feels like the largeness and roundness of what I can see in that area is due to radiated tissue moving around and bunching.  That was relieving, in that if we do find cancer, its not this large tumor growing out of me.  I’d much rather be dealing with cancer in a lymph node than a secondary tumor.  I breathed easier when I realized this.

I could feel the area roll under her fingers as she felt around and it was a small bit tender.  It gave me the ebee-jeebies when she would do it.  Blech.

My initial blood work came back perfect.  All white and red cell counts are right on!  I look really healthy on paper, and feel pretty healthy, so I have decided to stop worrying (as much as possible) and act like I am healthy!
{reading blood test results}

I am doing much better emotionally.  I say this every time– but the minute I let you all know about any health concerns, I am blanketed in peace.  I know this is your prayers for me and it really is amazing.  You help remind me that God has been and is so close and has brought so many amazing things my way while dealing with this cancer crap.  He knows what He is doing, so I can let go.  Why do I so often forget this??

Love to you all.

Holidays/Parties

I Need Your Help

I need your help.  My heart is breaking for a woman who I call neighbor, who is doing her best to provide for her family, despite hard circumstances.

She recently heard that I had a hard day and that I was waiting for test results (they came back clear).  She heard of this and set about making a gift for me, despite having her hands full of kids and house and life.

She left the gift on my porch, then texted me, telling me to check it.  My heart melted at what I found, a card and homemade love inside.  I know she does not have the funds to buy a gift.  The one I hold is priceless, made sacrificially by her, despite having full hands.  It makes me think of the first time we met, when she again, gave to me despite her own need.

I get an idea, and here is where I need your help.  This gift of love that she made could help provide for her family.  I suggest she make some more to sell, and her reaction is excitement and hope.

Will you take a minute to read the rest of her story, and look at her hope-filled homemade’s?  If you love what you see, or if her story touches your heart, would you consider buying one?  I so want to see blessing rained down upon my weary friend.  Even if you are unable to buy anything, I pray you are blessed by reading of her story below.  I wrote it months ago right after I met her.  I wanted to tell of her story, now, months later, I get the opportunity to!

THE WOMAN ACROSS THE STREET SHINES SUNLIGHT


Across the street, a house becomes a home before my eyes.
A man who now has my heart and prayers goes about, making old become new.


Porch blocked from view
Due to a tree
Yet sounds of children tell of its use.
A family fellowships.


A woman pregnant, whose hair shines in the sunlight
Sits in the grass and yard works
A beauty making beauty while beauty is knit within her


Fast forward to winter–
I am sick.  Meals are being brought.
Our phone rings, expected meal cannot come.
I crawl in bed, unmotivated to solve the meal issue.


So He does, my God, the Problem-Solver.  The Story-Weaver.


The doorbell rings and awakens me.
Confusion sets in as it sounds like a meal being delivered?


I hear husband speak gratitude.
I feel my kids excitement from an unexpected guest.


It is the woman from across the street that shines sunlight.
Her food and story provide nourishment, as she also shines Savior, a sister-in-Christ.


She shines despite pain.


As she speaks, I think back to fall.
I saw pink balloons tied to a now quiet porch, to announce and congratulate.
A little girl was born.

I have thought of providing food nourishment and an introduction of self.
But, my pain keeps me from it.


It is now winter and she hurries across the street with nourishment for me.
She is no longer with child, the babe is 11- weeks old.
Her tale tells also of a 3- year old and a 6- year old. Both boys.
These precious babes, too, have pain.

Why?


The man who makes beauty, her husband who turns old to new, house to home– his presence no longer fills.


He is now in prison for a crime committed before Savior set him free.
He is a man, changed.  Repented, but who knows he must still pay the penalty.


He leaves what could be a 5 year hole, a void, in this house made home.
And in the hearts of his children, his lady.

She bears this burden
She lives this pain
Yet, she hears of mine and provides a meal for me & mine.


Oh Lord, keep my new friend, her and hers.
Lord, shine through our stories and make sense of our pain!


Lord, keep her man filled with You and free.
May many who are imprisoned see his freedom
Weave prison stories, Lord, weave to set free.
May he find family and fellowship within walls.
May these 5 years not be wasted.


Lord, keep this precious family
Fill all voids, mend holes in hearts
Be Provider and Strength, comfort and heal.
Bring peace, provision and HOPE to this house turned home across my street.


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As you can see, she is lovely both inside and out. The gift she made for me is this beautiful beaded “A”  I love it.  It hang it from my rearview mirror in my car and feel very loved every time I look at it.  It catches the sunlight and shines, reminding me of my friend, of course.
I am planning on having her make a few for me to use as Christmas package toppers.  I also want to use them on these mugs for teachers gifts. I will have her to customize them, choosing which letters and asking her to use beads in reds, greens and golds.

She also made some cute little hair pins that my girls saw and are begging me for.  
Will you include her creations in your Christmas shopping so that she and her family can be blessed this Christmas?

I would be ever so grateful if you help my friend.
Here is her Etsy store.  Just click to see her Hope-Filled Creations.

Holidays/Parties/ HOME/ Homemaking

Getting Ready For Thanksgiving

The house is clean and smelling like Cranberry Pumpkin Bread! A mix from Trader Joes, I added the cranberries.
 I am ready for my 14 guests to arrive, and feeling very, very thankful. 
{Thanksgiving Day 2010}
Last year at this time, it was chemo week, the last of my 4 month cycle. I felt sick, weak, in a fog, my taste was off, my hair was gone, and I felt my body breaking down. I slept through most of Thanksgiving Day. I remember feeling so thankful that I didn’t have to have another cycle of chemo.  I knew my body would not have done well.
{I felt weird when photos were taken, like, are they taking my picture just in case?  I really didn’t know if there would be more Thanksgivings.  I was so fearful, despite the brave smile.}
 I have had no trouble giving thanks this year.  I do not take life for granted, and feel extreme gratitude for each and every day!  I especially feel thankful that the feeling of fear is gone.  I hated that.  
I am so excited to be hosting Thanksgiving again this year. I decided to keep things casual and simple, so I could really focus on the meaning of the day.  Paper plates pretty much rock…
…and so does Pumpkin Butter from Trader Joes!
My sisters laugh at my organization. I like to know what dish is going where, what order I will be cooking/baking it all in, and if I have enough pots.  I do the same with my serving dishes.
My two youngest are home from school today, and have been great helpers.

My youngest sat in the kitchen with me, in her fuzzy froggy jammies, and asked if she could “help.”  She loves writing lists, so I put her to work.  It helped to get the thoughts out of my head and on to paper!  Don’t you love the spelling of a nine year old?  So precious.
Happy Thanksgiving To You All,
FUN/DIY/ Homemade Gifts/ RECIPES/ Sides

Harry & David Onion Pepper Relish Knockoff

{this is a repost, hope you enjoy seeing it again!}

I am a huge fan of Harry & David’s Onion Pepper Relish, (just not a fan of the price!) so when I saw a recipe for it at Skip To My Lou, I knew I had to try it!  Oh boy, am I glad I did.  I could not believe how similar it tasted to Harry & David’s, I actually think it is slightly better!  It is sweet relish with a bit of a spicy bite.  I served it to a group of my girlfriends last night and it got rave reviews!

Onion Pepper Relish

36 oz canned diced tomatoes, drained (I used 2 1/2  14.5 oz cans)

3 bell peppers, seeds and ribs removed (I used one green, one yellow, and one orange)

3 cups sugar (I used pure cane sugar called Rapadura, it keeps your blood sugar levels from spiking!)

1 Tablespoon salt

1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

3 jalapeno peppers, seeds and ribs removed

11/2 medium onions

1 cup white vinegar

1 small box powdered pectin (1.75 oz, found in canning supplies of most stores)

 

Chop all vegetables.  This is the hardest part of the whole recipe, the rest is a breeze.  A food processor makes the chopping go much quicker.

 

Mix everything together, except for pectin, in a large pot.  Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for about one hour.  Add the pectin and let boil for 1 minute.

 

Pour relish into half pint jars, leaving about 1/2 inch room.  Store in refrigerator for up to 2 weeks, or freeze for up to 2 months. Or, if you are into canning, this would be the ideal recipe!

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I love to serve it dumped over a block of cream cheese surrounded by pita chips or crackers.  You can also mix the cream cheese and relish together to make a creamy dip.

This would make a great gift, just attach a tag with serving directions on it.

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FAMILY/ Love/ Music Renews/ Parenting/ Spiritual

For My 3 Lil’ Lovlies

My babies are now 12, 10 and 9!  I just can’t believe it!  Where do the years go?  I am loving every minute of being a mom.  I feel so very lucky to call these little lovelies mine, always remembering that they ultimately are His.  I know He will always take care of them.
I love you, my three beauties!

I remember singing this hymn as a child, for it was sung to me. 
This remake of it is so pretty.
Love.
Be not dismayed what e’er be tide

God will take care of you
Beneath His wings of love abide
God will take care of you

God will take care of you
Through every day, o’er all the way
*He will care for you*
God will take care of you

Through days of toil when heart doth fail
God will take care of you
When dangers fierce your path assail
God will take care of you

God will take care of you
Through every day, o’er all the way
He will care for you
God will take care of you

God will take care of you
Through every day, o’er all the way
He will care for you
God will take care of you

Love/ Music Renews/ Spiritual

Being Made New And Beautiful

{push play, then click through to YouTube.  It is worth it}
Our worship leader in church today lead us in prayer.  In the middle of the prayer, she said “Lord, you make us beautiful.”  This song above, “Beautiful Things,” immediately came to mind and it has been on repeat in my brain all day.  It is a favorite of mine.  Its words go perfectly with a reading I have found lately that has also been on my brain.  I thought I’d share them with you:
From Jesus Calling:
     As you become increasingly aware of My Presence, you find it easier to discern the way you should go. This is one of the practical benefits of living close to Me.  Instead of worrying about what you should do if…or when… you can concentrate on staying in communication with Me.  When you actually arrive at a choice-point, I will show you which direction to go.  

     Many people are so preoccupied with future plans and decisions that they fail to see choices they need to make today.   Without any conscious awareness, they make their habitual responses.  People who live this way find a dullness creeping into their lives.  They sleepwalk through their days, following well worn paths of routine.

     I, the Creator of the universe, am the most Creative Being imaginable.  I will not leave you circling in deeply rutted paths.  Instead, I will lead you along fresh trails of adventure, revealing to you things you did not know.  Stay in communication with Me.  Follow My guiding Presence.

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I love that my Creator does not “leave me circling in deeply rutted paths” but “leads along fresh trails of adventure.”  As He does this, He guides me, changes me, grows me.  Sometimes it is painful, change often is.  Refining often comes through fire, and oh, how uncomfortable it can be! 
Malachi 3:3
He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver..

A good refiner never leaves the crucible but, as the above verse indicates, “will sit” down by it so the fire will not become even one degree too hot and possible harm the metal.  And as soon as he skims the last bit of dross from the surface and sees his face reflected in the pure metal, he extinguishes the fire.
Arthur Tappan Peirson

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. 

Isaiah 64:8
But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

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