It’s a slow Saturday morning. I’m sitting in our sunroom, crossed-legged on the hard porch swing with a fly buzzing around my head. It’s hot and muggy, but the cloud cover and breeze in the trees makes me hope for rain and a bit of respite from the heat.
I woke up thinking about the past week, how summer has me frustratingly busy and unable to find time to write a decent post for this blog. Photos need edited and social channels need updated and I love it all but find myself wanting to post like the old days. The days when I would just type my thoughts and put up a photo with dull lighting and finish feeling satisfied instead of relieved.
This blogging turned job thing is an amazing but interesting blessing. I love taking time to give my best, post with excellence and capture beauty through the lens to share it with you. There is something about working hard to produce good content, to push the publish button, share social content and meet deadlines. I love it and cannot believe I get to call it my job.
But I miss this. This just typing away, unedited blabbing, starting a post without an outline or idea of where it will go or end. How pushing publish can give the same therapeutic feeling I get after spending time with a good friend. I miss it so I’m doing it. Thanks for allowing me, my good friends. I plan to do it more often.
There is so much to love about this summer! Comparing it to last summer, well, there really is no comparison. Last summer was filled with doctor appointments, tears, illness and fear. This summer is not perfect, but oh what a difference! Doctor appointments do not consist of issues dealing with life or death. There are still appointments, but they are normal and for my teens. Orthodontist for brace tightening. dermatologist to keep teenage acne at bay, dentist for cleanings and optometrist for replacing teen’s lost glasses for the THRID TIME (insert sigh and eye roll here.) Life is still busy and the calendar full, but it is a bearable busy and I’m grasping to hold on to all these fleeting, beautiful moments.
This holding of moments is intensified because I now have a teen driver who is working all of the time! What a relief it has been for me to have a driver, and a responsible one at that. My Teagan walks out the door daily and I watch her back and wonder when my baby became a beauty that sprouted wings and is soaring. Her summer is spent watching and keeping others safe while lifeguarding in a red tank top with a cross on it, and nannying 3 littles on her ‘off’ days. She is scent of sunscreen, sun-kissed hair in a bun, whistle around her neck, Bible and journal in her bag –just in case she gets a few minutes of quiet. She is laughter with friends often bringing them home unexpectedly to entertain and kick us out of the basement mid-movie so that she can connect and socialize. My baby is beauty and I’m missing her already and she has not even flown away yet.
My Middle went last week, took a friend and had a blast meeting more. My Youngest goes this coming week and I am excited for the fun she will have. I’m ready for the longing I will have for her to come home that creeps up about 2 days before she is due. With Oldest working all day and another at camp, I get focused time with the one left. This is a new blessing, a quieter house with just one to love on. I’m looking forward to the week and purposefully kept my calendar as empty as possible.
Everyone should have a Cory in the family. He is my hard-working brother-in-law who teaches during the school year and constructs during the summer. His work is seen all over our home, from the swings in our backyard, to our porch, porch railing, drywall in basement, a new kitchen–the list goes on. Last year he gutted our failing kitchen and created a new one that I smile at daily. I have yet to share it with you all but I will! This year he is tearing down old siding and putting up new. It is a gift to have him around. I learn from watching him, he teaches while constructing, showing by example what quality and hard work looks like. His hammering starts most mornings at 7:30, it is a familiar routine that brings a surprising comfort instead of intrusion. I sit and have my coffee, toast and journaling/prayer time with the background music of a saw and hammer. It pushes me to start my day and continue on, working hard with a servant’s heart, just like Cory.
Grandpa and Grandma have a pool. The are amazingly generous and let the family use it. They have a pool house which is very convenient; we don’t have to intrude with our wet suits into their home. They set up a family google pool calendar which allows us to reserve it and share it with others. This has been going on since my 13-year-old was 3 and I still can’t get used to the gift that is. We’ve made so many memories there, and each summer more are created.
I am learning this. I love a schedule and predictability, which is probably why I find comfort in early summer morning sounds of tools. I love knowing what to expect. Summer is always a challenge for me to adjust from a schedule to none, especially now that I am a work-at-home Mom. I’m learning to let go of expectations and roll with the punches. I’m learning that parenting teens means being available when needed but letting go and letting wings spread at the same time. I’m learning there is little to no predictability when it comes to teens and summer.
Today I thought my Oldest would be life-guarding all day and my Middle would be with friends all day & I would have a full day at home to do whatever I want until a family wedding tonight. At the beginning of this post I wished for rain and it came and caused both of my girls plans to change. I stopped this post right in the middle of talking about the family swimming pool to rescue my girl from the farmer’s market crowds and rain. I drove with bedhead and in shorts and my Todd’s t-shirt, my slow morning became fast & off I went. It might be uncomfortable at times to release my schedule, doing whatever I want, and babes who are becoming beauties, but really, is it? It all depends on my perspective. When I think of what could be and what is, I’m so very thankful. Thankful for life, for family, for summer days that bring sun or rain, and for you–my good friends who let me share about it.