Purposeful Living

FAMILY/ Parenting

Charts, Chores, Allowances & Behavior-Part 3-Purposeful Living

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority

Priority #5 – Children (Emotional Health)

Goal – March 2012

Invest in the emotional health of my children by revising our chart, chore, allowance, and behavior system.  Specifically this means:

• Revising our list of morning, afternoon, and evening routines/chores.
• Developing an easier system of connecting routines/chores to an allowance.  The system must be easy to record and monitor.
• Developing effective and easy to implement consequences for misbehavior.   

Goal Status

Completed

//

CHORES

ORDER – Obedience – Kindness – Peace – Honesty = BOWMAN FAMILY BEHAVIOR PLAN

Our method for managing the behavior of our children is captured in five words.  

ORDER refers to Daily Routines (Charts), Chores, and Allowances.

Chores

Chores are different than routines.  Chores typically take longer to complete than routines and are not necessarily done every day (although not always the case).  

I am a fan of chores.  Chores teach responsibility and hard work.  They allow a child to positively contribute to the family.  

There is no right or wrong way to do chores.  

Amy has a unique system where most days she gives each of our girl’s three chores and writes the chores underneath their name on the white board in our living room.  If necessary, there are also directions and a time frame written with the chores.

After our girls complete a chore they check off or place a line through the chore indicating it has been completed.  These chores typically change every day and are based on what Amy needs done around the house.       

But the three chores a day system isn’t the only way to distribute chores.  You can also assign children specific chores to do every day for a specific period of time (week, month, etc.).  For example, one child may do the dishes for a week while another is responsible for vacuuming.  

There are probably many other ways to distribute chores along with a million chores children could complete.  

The expectation in our home is that chores should be completed within the communicated time frame without complaint or argument.  

I have added Chores to the Evening Routine Chart.  Chores are assigned throughout the entire day and in the evening we determine whether chores were completed correctly or not.  Chores must be completed properly and without complaint in order for this box to get checked on the Evening Routine Chart.  

Complaining results in an automatic loss of allowance.  Refusal to complete the chore results in a significant consequence.  

In our home, chores are mandatory.  And our girls are expected to do as much or as little as Amy and I feel we need them to do.  Some days we work them hard.  Other days not so much.  

//

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

Chores, Charts, Allowances, & Behavior – Part 1
Chores, Charts, Allowances, & Behavior – Part 2

1

FAMILY

Physical Health Report 2013 – Purposeful Living

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority

Priority #7 – Physical Health

Physical Health 2013 – Age 43  

This is my annual physical health report for 2013.  This report included both reflection and a rating on how I think I’m doing in each core area of physical health.  Physical health includes the components listed below.  

Weight

Nutrition

Sleep

Aerobic Conditioning

Strength Training

Weight – 9 ½ out of 10  

I am 5’ 7” (yes, I’m short) and for the past three years I have maintained an almost ideal weight of 150 pounds.  This is the area of physical health where I am currently strongest.  It is also an area where I am somewhat proud because I had to lose a bit of weight to get here.  

Three years ago following several Christmas celebrations full of good food I stepped on the scale and was in for a shock.  

For several years I told myself that as long as I stayed below 170 pound I was okay with that.  The scale was now reading 173.  I had crossed a threshold of what I considered acceptable and had entered a place where I knew I was considerably overweight.  

I read the book You On A Diet by Dr. Oz which was recommended to me by my wife.  The primary take away for me from that book was that fiber is my friend.  Foods high in fiber are best at curbing hunger.  

Over the next two months I went on a crash diet and lost 25 pounds.  Slim Fast shakes were my best friend during this time.    

The second take away for me from that book was to find healthy foods I liked and eat them every day – make my meals automatic.  

After ending my crash diet I revamped the foods I eat every day.  Strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries with a bit of yogurt became my staple food up through dinner.  Then for dinner Amy always makes something healthy.  

Eating foods high in fiber has enabled me to eat far less food.  This has allowed me to maintain my weight loss.  

Sleep – 9 out of 10

I get about seven hours of sleep at night.  I think that is pretty good and seems right for my body.  If I sleep longer than eight hours it throws me off and I end up not being able to sleep at all the following night.  

Nutrition – 6 ½ out of 10

The Good

I eat fairly healthy – most days.  On a normal day I eat blueberries, strawberries, black berries, organic multi-grain hot cereal, vegetable soups, and bean soups.  

In addition, my wonderful wife cooks healthy vegan meals most evenings for dinner.  She is a fantastic cook and I thoroughly enjoy her meals.

Even more important are the foods I avoid on a normal day.  I avoid meat and sweets.  

The problem is not every day is a normal day.  

I have a very strange nutrition plan.  I eat healthy 4-5 days a week.  I eat unhealthy 2-3 days a week.

On normal days when I try to eat healthy I could still do much better.  I need to add more fruits, vegetables, and beans to my diet.  

And more important I need to eat healthy 6-7 days a week rather than 4-5.  This will be quite a challenge.  I really like my junk food as you will read about below.   

The Bad

As I described above, there are 2-3 days each week when I eat unhealthy.

And when I say unhealthy I mean unhealthy.  I really love junk food – chips, candy, ice cream, cookies.  I really, really love junk food.  And on a day where I have given myself the freedom to not eat healthy, I eat whatever I want.

I also drink about five 2-liters of diet soda a week.  

It has worked for me.  My primary goal when it comes to food has been to maintain an ideal weight.  This eating plan has enabled me to do that.  

A secondary goal has been to improve my nutrition.  And I have done that as well – at least to an extent.  Most days I eat relatively healthy foods.  I just don’t do it every day.

This drives Amy nuts.   

Aerobic Conditioning – 6 ½ out of 10

I walk at least 20 minutes nearly every day.  It is something I look forward to.  I own a treadmill and walk while watching my favorite television shows or movies.  I even purchased a nice pair of wireless headphones in order to get great sound while not bothering the rest of the family by turning up the television full blast.

To improve my cardio at least somewhat while walking I crank the incline on the treadmill as high as it will go.

I also walk a lot outside.

Studies show walking provides many of the same benefits to the heart as running.  And I burn around 100 calories a day just through purposeful walking which helps me maintain my weight.

The reason I give myself an “Okay” instead of “Good” in aerobic conditioning is because I am currently finding it hard to do more strenuous exercise that gets my heart rate up.  

I had knee surgery about a year ago and have not been able to fully straighten my left leg ever since.  Trying to run when a leg won’t fully straighten is potentially dangerous.  I could easily further damage my knee.

But I really need to figure out how to do strenuous aerobic conditioning for 20 minutes at least three days a week to push this area into the “Good” category.  

Strength Training – 0 out of 10

I have not lifted weights or done any strength training since college nearly twenty years ago.  There is significant room for improvement in this area.

====

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

2

FAMILY/ Parenting

Goal Setting & Reflection | Children {Mental Health} | Purposeful Living Series

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Goal Setting & Reflection-July 2013

{Our Colsie, lighting off sssssnakes on the 4th Of July}

Correct Priority #5 – Children (Mental Health)  

Goal – July 2013

Identify important topics to share and/or discuss with my daughters on a regular basis.  

Thoughts

On a regular basis I will read something or learn something that I think would be valuable for my daughters to know, be aware of, or understand.  Then minutes later I forget about the topic never share it with my girls.

Rather than getting by on good intentions, I want to start keeping a list of these topics and then engage my girls in discussions about them on a regular basis.  

These topical discussions don’t have to be long.  They can be short, some just a few minutes.  

The inspiration for these topics can come from anywhere including Youtube videos, snippets from books or magazines, television or movie clips, etc.      

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

FAMILY/ Parenting

Charts, Chores Allowances & Behavior – Part 2 – Purposeful Living

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority

Priority #5 – Children (Emotional Health)

Goal – March 2012

Invest in the emotional health of my children by revising our chart, chore, allowance, and behavior system.  Specifically this means:

• Revising our list of morning, afternoon, and evening routines/chores.
• Developing an easier system of connecting routines/chores to an allowance.  The system must be easy to record and monitor.
• Developing effective and easy to implement consequences for misbehavior.   

Goal Status

Completed

DAILY ROUTINES

ORDER – Obedience – Kindness – Peace – Honesty = BOWMAN FAMILY BEHAVIOR PLAN

Our method for managing the behavior of our children is captured in five words.  

ORDER refers to Daily Routines (Charts), Chores, and Allowances.

Own System

There are many chart systems out there, but none of them connected charts to an allowance in the very specific way we wanted.  So we created our own chart, chore, and allowance system.  

Daily Routine Charts

A routine is something necessary, but simple, that is done nearly every day.  Routines typically take just a few minutes to complete.  If the activity takes several minutes, it may not be a routine, but rather a chore.  

A chart system is perfect for routines because instead of following your children around nagging them to do things like brush their teeth or make their bed, you can just tell them to go do their chart.  

A good chart system both teaches responsibility and makes a positive difference in keeping a home organized.  The expectation is they complete the entire chart correctly.  If they choose not to complete it properly, they receive a consequence.  

In our case, Amy & I create new charts as often as we feel we need to, usually at the beginning of each school year.  The routines are always changing based on the ages of our girls and based on our own experience of things we consider important.  

Below is a list of the routines found on our charts for morning, afternoon, and evening.  

Morning Routines

Click here for an editable version of our Morning Routine chart

Allowance – Carried Over

Allowance – Upon Completion

No Screens

Breakfast

Clear Dishes

Vitamins

Dressed

PJ’s Away

Make Bed

Hair

Brush Teeth

Homework In Backpack

Backpack Ready

Lunch Box Ready

Shoes Ready

Coat Ready

Pick Up Personals

Allowance Total

Afternoon Routines

Click here for an editable version of our Afternoon Routine

Allowance – Carried Over

Allowance – Upon Completion

No Screens

Shoes In Basket

Backpack Emptied On Table

Backpack Hung Up

Lunch Bag Hung Up

Snack

Snack Cleaned Up

Allowance Total

Evening Routines

Click here for an editable version of our Evening Routine.

Allowance – Carried Over

Allowance – Upon Completion

No Screens

Snack

Pick Up Personals

PJ’s

Dirties In Hamper

Clean Clothes Hung Up

Brush/Floss

Clean Sink Area

Devotions

Chores

Allowance Total

   

Chore Chart Definitions

Allowance – Carried Over:  Our girls earn a small allowance each time they successfully complete a chart.  This box keeps a running total of the amount they have earned.  

Allowance – Upon Completion:  This box indicates how much they will earn upon successful completion of the chart.  

Allowance Total: Allowance–Carried Over + Allowance-Upon Completion = Allowance Total

Here is the board we use.  It is in a very central location in our home and works really well.

We print out our charts, laminate them, and attach them to our white board with magnets.  They are not pictured above, but fit perfectly under the area where we list daily chores for out girls.

To learn how Amy put their names on the board, click here.

—————–

 

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

Additional Posts In This Series

Charts, Chores, Allowances, & Behavior–Part 1

FAMILY/ Parenting

Strengthening Our Daughter’s Knee – Purposeful Living

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority

Priority #5 – Children (Physical Health)

Goal – March 2013

Assist my daughter Colsie in daily completing her physical therapy to strengthen and repair the damage in her knee.  

Goal Status

Completed

UPDATED Thoughts About Goal – June 2013

After setting this goal in March I spent an entire week reminding Colsie in the kindest and most motivating manner I could muster that she needed to be doing her leg and knee strengthening exercises multiple times a day.

I offered to help her with her exercises, but she had no interest in this whatsoever.  She gave me that “absolutely not” look.  So I limited myself motivational reminders.

{Isn’t she a cutie?}

It was a struggle most of that first week.  She wasn’t in a habit of doing her exercises twice a day, didn’t like doing them, and lacked motivation.  But my gentle reminders did result in her completing her exercises more frequently.

After a week of consistent exercising, Colsie returned to the physical therapist and received a report that she had made significant improvement.  Her knee was healing and strength was improving in her leg.

Colsie was so excited at this report that she started doing her exercises four times a day instead of two and completed many more repetitions than was required.  She no longer needed my encouragement and was working hard on her own.  Each week of therapy her diagnosis continued to improve and at the end of April she was told her knee was back to full strength.  

This is a big deal because she has been suffering from this injury for nearly a year and there was a general feeling through the first few weeks of therapy that things were not improving and more surgery might be needed.  

I am proud of Colsie and the hard work she did to get better.   

ORIGINAL Thoughts About Goal – March 2013

I purchased several volleyball training videos and had planned to use this time right now to work with my middle daughter Colsie on developing her volleyball skills to prepare for playing on a team this spring.

Instead she was diagnosed with a severe knee injury which will prevent her from playing sports of any kind for some time.  

Since this diagnosis I tend to forget about it most nights.  I depend on Colsie to find the motivation on her own to put in the work to get better.  Reviewing my Correct Priorities list today I felt I needed to be much more active in motivating and working with her in strengthening her knee.  I can transfer the time I was going to spend with her on volleyball to helping her get better.  

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

2

Books/ FAMILY/ Sponsored

Learning The Love Languages Of Children & Teens

 

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

 

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

………………….

 

Correct Priority #5 – Children (Emotional Health)  

Goal – June 2013

Formally identify the primary Love Language for each of my three girls.   

 

Thoughts

I have assumed for a long time that I know the primary love language for each of my three girls, but realized recently that I am not certain about any of them.

Whether through a simple test or through conversation (or some other method), I am going to take time to more formally assess and identify the love languages of my girls.  

Knowing the primary way my daughters feel loved is super important to me as I set goals every month to try to speak that language for them on a consistent basis.  If I am making mistakes or missing the boat in this area with any of them, I want to figure this out.   

Seeing as this is such a priority to me, I am thinking it makes sense to purchase and read the following two books which can best provide an overview of this topic.  I don’t want to assume just because I have read the adult book that I fully understand how the Love Languages apply to children and teens.

 

The 5 Love Languages Of Children by Gary Chapman

 

 

 

The 5 Love Languages Of Teenagers by Gary Chapman

 

If you can’t tell, I am a huge fan of the book The Five Love Language: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman.  There are a million marriage books out there, but this one may be my favorite.    

 

The Five Love Language: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman.

 

…………..

 

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

……………..

 

 

{Try it for free, keep it for $9.95 a month}

 

…………..

 

FAMILY/ HEALTH

Physical Health Comes Eighth – Purposeful Living

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living.  At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

………………….

Correct Priority

Priority #8 – Physical Health

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor god with your body.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Being physically healthy is not the most important element of personal health.  In fact, among the five core elements of personal health (spiritual, emotional, social, mental, physical), I have placed physical health last on the list. In my list of priorities, I have it as number eight.

I view all personal health first through the lens of how effectively it enables us to be in proper relationship with others.  God has called us to love our people, and being a healthy person better enables us to love people.    

In the specific area of physical health, I know many people who are overweight or sick, yet are able to have profound positive impact in the lives of others because they are spiritually and emotionally healthy.  

With this caveat out of the way, it is still extremely important and there are many benefits to being physically healthy, and that is why it is number eight on my list of correct priorities.

Having stamina and energy to fully engage with people and with life is a benefit.  Living as many years as possible to care for and enjoy family and friends is a benefit.   

I imagine someone who is extremely sick, debilitated, or battling a life-threatening illness would give just about anything to regain physical health. I watched my wife fight cancer, and I saw this first hand. A healthy body is precious gift.  It is something to be valued and cared for.  

In addition to personal benefits, we have a responsibility and a duty to be physically healthy.  Our bodies are the dwelling place of God and He desires that we care for them.  

For me, physical health includes the components listed below.  

Weight

Nutrition

Sleep

Aerobic Conditioning

Strength Training

Like many people, I am doing well in some areas of physical health, okay in other areas, and poorly in a few areas.  

Future posts will detail where I am currently in regards to physical health, goals to improve, and hopefully details about how I have managed to improve my physical health.  

……………..

{Try it for free, keep it for $9.95 a month}

…………..

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline