From our new Monthly Contributor, Cassie from True Agape:
Over the past few weeks I have been talking with a group of ladies about what their biggest frustrations are in marriage. This helps guide me in what kind of resources I provide on True Agape. Through talking with these women I started seeing a pattern. Ladies often listed their frustrations as either their husbands not helping enough around the house or not spending enough quality time together.
This automatically made me think about the 5 Love Languages.
I then asked each of them:
1) If their Love Language was Acts of Service or Quality Time (whichever one corresponded with their frustration)
2) If so, did their husband know that was their Love Language. Almost all the women responded that yes indeed their Love Language was the one correlated to their frustration. However, the response was varied on if their husband knew it was their Love Language.
This got me thinking…
We all want our love tank to be full! When it is not getting filled on a regular basis we can feel down about our relationship, it can cause frustrations and even resentment. That is why we are going to talk about a few important things. Today we will look at how to make sure your husband knows your Love Language. Next week we discuss what you can do about it if he knows your Love Language, yet you feel like he isn’t speaking it.
First let’s start by making sure your husband knows your Love Language. Here are a few ways to ensure this.
1) Take The quiz together- You both will find out each other’s Love Language. (You should know your husband’s as well!) You can tell him you heard about the 5 Love Languages and are interested to see what the quiz comes up with for the both if you.
2) Create a list- Tell your man you are wanting to be a better wife. You really want to know the things that you do for him that he appreciates the most. Ask him to write the top ten things that make him feel loved. You create a list as well. When he gives you his list, give him yours. Chat about the things on the list and the commonalities you see. If a lot of your things are acts of service sum up the conversation with something like, “When I made my list I noticed I listed many things like you helping around the house and with the kids. I really feel loved when you do those things.” Through this activity you have given your guy prime examples of what fills your love tank, but also the broader area so that he may choose to do other things not on the list. You also find out what fills his love tank!
3) Plain good ol’ communication- At the end of the day or week when you have your check in time bring up the 5 Love Languages. When he asks how your day/week was tell him you were reading a book/blog about this concept. Tell him about the 5 Love Languages. Ask him what he thinks his is, tell him what yours is. This can even lead to completing number 1 or 2.
I do realize however some couples do not have this open of communication. Therefore, you may want to try something like above that may seem less intrusive.
It is really hard for your husband to speak your Love Language if he does not know anything about the concept and/or he doesn’t know yours. Do you and your man a favor by taking a little bit of time to find out what both of your languages are! This will make a difference in your marriage!
Next week we will look at what if you are sure your husband knows your Love Language, yet you feel like he doesn’t speak it.
-Cassie {Marriage Contributor}
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“Marriage is Not a Destination, But Rather a Life Long Journey”
You can also find & follow Cassie & True Agape Here:
Cassie has put together an amazing resource on this marriage. The Secret to Making Your Husband Feel Loved: 75 Ideas Using His Love Language. She has made this FREE for us and you can download it by clicking HERE.
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