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Leaving A Legacy For My 3 Girls – Find The Gifts

As a 2-time cancer survivor, I look at life with tangible knowledge that life could end at any given moment. None of us know how long we have here on this earth. This legacy series to my 3 girls…my lovelies… is my way of attempting to leave a legacy for them. To speak of what is most important for them to know from me, their forever Mom.

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{25.00 printable from Breazy Tulip}

Hello Lovlies,
It is June 2013 and you are all three home for the summer. I can’t tell you how much I have enjoyed having you all home. Honestly, in past summers I had to adjust to a house full, but not this summer. This summer I am reveling in the moments, and I love watching all three of you just be who you are throughout the day. I am so proud to be your Mom…and so thankful for you.

I wanted to share with you how I have discovered how to live this verse.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice evermore.
Pray without ceasing.
In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I remember reading this verse when I was younger and thinking…how? HOW IN THE WORLD does one rejoice evermore, pray always, & give thanks for everything?

But I have learned.

I have learned that rejoice evermore is so not a fake smile and a pretending to be happy at all times. It is a deep joy, that even in life’s hardest moments we have hope of heaven & the knowledge that God loves us, more than we can even fathom.

I have learned how to pray without ceasing. It is just an ongoing conversation, a relationship with God and an acknowledgement of Him in your day. You don’t always have to be on your hands and knees, although there are times for that. Most of the time it is just heart whispers between me and my Creator. Sometimes just one word. Like, “Help.” If you are in relationship with someone, you are aware of their presence. Become aware that He is with you always, ready to listen, totally understands it all, and loves you, loves you, loves you.

I have learned what it looks like to give thanks for everything. Does that mean I do it all the time? No. But I get what it means and have experienced the freedom and peace that it brings, which is so very beautiful. I get why God tells us to do this. And…I believe it is the key to living this entire verse.

I read Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts, and it changed me. She encourages you to count gifts throughout your day. From the big–like health & home; to the seemingly small–like a smile from a stranger. She asks you to start making a list. I did just that on this blog in my One Thousand Gifts series, and even made it to 1,000.

Here is what I learned:

~When you start to list gifts, your eyes are opened to the many, many gifts you would have missed otherwise. I found myself rejoicing in awe at a seed that becomes a plant, or the specks of green in your eyes that match mine, or a curl resting on your cheek. Noticing the things I usually would not notice brought great joy. This is how I am learning to “rejoice evermore.”

~When you list gifts, it starts to become part of your thinking, and you find yourself giving thanks in everything, even the hard moments. You remember how God was faithful in previous hard moments, as you looked for what to be thankful for within them. You know He is faithful and will do it again. He shows us the most precious parts of Himself and our need for Him in those hard moments. Without them, we would not need Him. This is how to be thankful for the hard. This is how to “give thanks in everything.”

~When you list the gifts, you form a heart of thanksgiving, and when you are offering up thanksgiving, you are praying. This is often how I find myself “praying without ceasing.”

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It is not always easy to have a thankful heart, God understands that. But strive for one. I can’t tell you how much this has helped me in life, and I know it will help you too.

I Love You Mor’n,
Mom

FAMILY/ Kids/Family/ Parenting

Spiritual Health Books For My Girls

Todd Bowman and purposeful Living Series

These posts are designed to model a system of purposeful living. At least once a month, Todd spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

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Correct Priority #5 – Social Health- Immediate Family-Children (Spiritual Health)

Goal Set – November 2012

Goal:

Develop a detailed family spiritual plan to better ground my three girls in God’s word. Specific elements of this plan include the items listed below.

Develop a plan to help each girl identify Christian books to read.

Goal Status

Completed

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Thoughts – Updated

The week after Christmas I rounded up the entire family and we drove to Omaha to Parables Christian Bookstore. It is a nice store and they have a large selection of Bibles and books.

I tasked each of my girls to find one book to purchase. My only stipulation is that had to be a book that would spur their spiritual growth.

Amy & I walked them through the different parts of the store and helped them identify sections and types of books they might like. After looking around for a while they all made great book selections.

Teagan selected the book Live To Give by Austin Gutwein. It is biography of a teenager who turned a love and passion for basketball into a non-profit organization with 40,000 members and has raised over $3 million for AIDS relief in Africa. I love that Teagan’s faith is active. Her love for God inspires her to make a difference in the lives of others.

Colsie chose the book From Blah to Awe: Shaking Up A Boring Faith by Jenna Lucado. It is a non-fiction book written for teen girls. It talks about how to have a vibrant and radical faith while navigating the challenges of middle school and high school. Colsie just entered sixth grade and is learning how to navigate challenges that didn’t exist in elementary school.

My little Avery was more ambitious. She picked a book called The Secret Power of Joy. It is a FaithGirlz Bible Study on the book of Philippians. While it is written for children it is a pretty intense Bible Study involving reading Bible passages and then answering a set of questions based on what was ready. Avery seems pretty excited about it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs some help getting through it. I will monitor her progress and work through it with her if she needs extra motivation.

{Looking for books and hanging out at Parables}

{Love my girls}

{Money well spent}

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Thoughts – (previous post that spurred on this November Goal)

I spent a great deal of time over the past year planning our family Florida vacation. This planning paid off with an amazing trip. It may have been the best two weeks of my life.

But in the process of planning this vacation I neglected many other things, including being a good parent. I have been convicted since returning from out trip that I need to dedicate more time and do a better job in a variety of areas that are far more important that vacation.

One area in which I know I need to improve is being the spiritual leader of our home and doing what I can to better ground my girls in their faith. Each time they step out of our home they enter a world where many despise the gospel of Jesus Christ. They enter a world that is hostile to God’s word.

When my children our older they will have to decide for themselves what they believe. But there is zero chance I will stay silent while they are bombarded with messages contrary to what God wants for them every day of their life.

My first responsibility is to model for them what it means to live a Godly life and be sensitive to His will. My next responsibility is to make sure they know what is true and right. I will not ignore either of these responsibilities.

Amy’s Thoughts –

I think back on this fun family day trip to Omaha with fondness. We ate out at 5 Guys (Todd’s fav) and hit up my fav (Starbucks) on the way home! I was really proud of the choices my girls made in books. I love the pic of Todd holding up his purchases with a twinkle in his eye…we both know it is investment that will not return void.

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Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Outline

FAMILY/ Leaving A Legacy/ Music Renews/ Parenting/ Spiritual

Leaving A Legacy For My 3 Girls – A Plea & A Prayer

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Dear Lovelies,

I don’t have many words of my own for you today, just a verse which is also a plea, and a prayer. I may even go find a song for you if your lucky. 🙂

My Plea for you, my 3 lovelies:

Ephesians 4:1 I…beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling. For you have been called by God.

How I pray for you:

Every time I pray I think of you and thank God for you! I ask Him to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing Him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what He is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for Christians. Oh the utter extravagance of His work in us who trust him– endless, boundless strength!

Be assured from day one I have not stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds & spirits attuned to his will and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. I pray that you live well for the Master, making Him proud of you as you work hard in His orchard. As you learn how God works you will learn how to do your work.

I pray you will have the strength to stick it out over the long haul, not a grim strength of gritting your teeth, but glory-strength that God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful He has for us!

By giving Himself completely at the cross, actually dying for you, Christ brought you over to God’s side & put your lives together, whole & holy in His presence. Don’t walk away from a gift like that! Stay grounded and steady in that bond of trust, constantly tuned into the message, careful not to be distracted or diverted.

I Love you More’n,

MOM

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The above are Paul’s prayers, so wonderful to pray over your children. They are taken from:

Colossians 1:9

Ephesians 1:15-23

Ephesians 3:14-19

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FAMILY/ Kids/Family/ Leaving A Legacy/ Love/ Parenting/ Spiritual

Leaving A Legacy For My 3 Girls – Whiter Than Snow

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Hello Lovelies,
It is a January snow day today and you 3 are just thrilled! It is 11:30 and we are all still in our jammies. You are all having fun on your iPods & I’m just sitting here thinking about what it is I want to tell you.

I will keep it short and simple.

The snow is beautiful outside, everything covered in white. I think of just yesterday when I stepped in mud on our walkway, tracking it all the way up our stairs, spreading the mess. Everything was brown, grass dead.

It seems like I just blinked, and woke up to all the mess now covered in pure white. It is so beautiful. I know when it melts the mud and gunk will be washed away, and the dead grass will be nourished to spring green again, come spring.

And it reminds me.

This is what Jesus does for us. He takes our mess, washes it clean on the cross, makes us pure white and new. Gives us life.

It is so easy to get stuck in our mess and forget that we have been washed clean. HE SEES US CLEAN. Our mess is removed “as far as the east is from the west.”

God sees us, covered in white by His Son. Pure.

Next time you are down on yourself, feeling funky & a mess, remember how your Creator sees you!

All sparkly white and made NEW!

I Love You More’n,
MOM

FAMILY/ Kids/Family/ Leaving A Legacy/ Love/ Parenting/ Spiritual

Leaving A Legacy-A Post For My 3 Girls

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It’s funny, my girls. I’ve wanted to write this series for awhile, but where to start? There are so many important things I want to tell you, and frankly I fail at this so often. I try to tell you verbally, and I know, especially now that you are older, that it often turns into a lecture.

So, I’ve decided to start with a journal entry I found, dating back to the year 2008. I remember writing it. I was at the Lied Lodge in Nebraska City, having a day set apart for just me and God. I remember a feeling a strong sense of unease, like something big was coming up and I needed to prepare both myself and my family for it. I didn’t know what that meant, but I had this pressing desire to express to you words that I would want to say if I ever was not around to say them.

This was 2 years before my cancer diagnosis. You were only age 9, 8 & 5. Precious wee ones. I’ve decided to share this with you as the first post of this series because I thought it was fitting to start with truth, and an apology.

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{Mother’s Day 2011}

Journal Entry March 18, 2009

For My Girls:

You are God’s precious treasure.

So very precious.

He also has treasure for you!

Receive the treasure He offers you.

The treasure of Jesus.

Nothing compares to Him! He will never leave you or forsake you. You will never be alone. He holds you in His hands. I entrust you to him, you are His, not mine.

Forgive me, my girls. I know I am not patient. At times my words can be harsh and my temper gets the best of me too often. God is working on me, and I promise to continue to grow in Him. He is creating a work in me. I pray He protects you from my shortcomings and my growth process. Oh, how I long to be a Mom who is already complete in my wisdom. But, until Heaven, when we will all be perfected and will all act perfectly, I will keep running forward and doing my best for Him in this crazy race of life. What a blessing to get to run this race with your Dad as my husband (he is SO wonderful) and as you 3 as my girls. You bring me so much JOY! God is only getting started with you, this is only just the beginning! He has so much for you. His way truly is the only way.

Follow Him. Keep His commands. Accept His forgiveness.

Have patience while He completes his work in you and don’t give into Satan’s lies. He will tell you that you are not good enough. He is a liar, a deceiver. Fill you mind with God’s truth about you so you can discern when Satan is trying to trick. He is sneaky. Watch for his craftiness BUT BY NO MEANS BE FEARFUL of him.

Our God is so powerful and so much bigger. Get to know God’s promises and cling to them, to Him, for He is truly awesome.

I Love You More-n,

Mom

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Source: unafloresita.blogspot.com via New on Pinterest

FAMILY/ Kids/Family/ Love/ Parenting/ Spiritual

Parenting Pre-Teens

{Momastery.com}

“Don’t let yourself become so concerned with raising a good kid that you forget you already have one.”

BAM!

When I saw this graphic on PInterest it hit me right in the head and heart. Hard.

My girls are now 13, 11 and 9. They are great girls.

But, we have definitely hit middle school years with my two oldest and as I watch them try to maneuver in the muck of what middle school years can bring, I have felt fear creep in.

Amy + fear = not a good thing.

It creeps in on me, one thought will enter. Another the next day. Before I know it my stomach is in a ball of worries and I feel the world is on my shoulders and it is up to me to save the world.

What am I afraid of? Who do I think I am that I can save the world?

It seems to come down to this. I don’t want my kids to struggle. I don’t want them to learn life lessons the hard way. I don’t want them to make bad decisions in these years that will take a lot of years to work through & heal from. I don’t want them to walk the path I did, a path that started in middle school.

Fear. Fear. Fear.

It is interesting.

When they were little, their struggles and misbehavior brought out something else in me.

Pride.

It is really easy for a fit throwing 3 year old to make Mommy look and feel like a total loser parent. I cared about how their behavior made ME look.

God and I worked through that one, and honestly, I kinda miss that being the issue, for I’d rather be in pain and have to work through it then see my girls experience pain and them have to work through it. Bring back the 3 year old fits!

I’d take those any day over watching my girls sort out who they are and seeing them struggle with what we all, especially as females, can struggle with– identity.

Identity is huge in middle school. What defines me? My friends? My clothes? The phone in my hand? The brand of my boots? The way my hair is curled that day?

The world and their peers scream YES, these things matter and define you. You and your peeps need to look and act a certain way for you to be accepted and loved. This leaves the question constantly on their middle school brains “Am I ok?” “Do I fit?”

I feel like my words are whispers they cannot hear over their peers screams right now, and honestly that is my fault.

My fear causes my reactions to be in the moment and they take on a lecturing tone.

Mom lecturing = blank stares, eyes rolling & a mind and heart that is tuned out. My whispers fall on deaf ears, although my lectures are far from whispers.

Why do I fall into this–the lecture?

Back to the yuck–I’ve seen one of my girls think that if the other sister dresses and looks what they would define as “dorky” that it somehow defines her or in some way reflects on her and makes her look bad. What? Oh that is yucky…so yucky that when I realized that this was an issue last week it was my turn to stare blankly with my mouth hanging open, silenced–but only for a minute before my lecture started.

But, can’t I relate to that? I used to let my 3 year olds fits define me as a mom, and I was a grown woman.

I should not have been surprised when the next day, as I was wearing an over sized Nebraska tshirt with jeans and we were expecting family company, my daughter was horrified that I was actually going to wear it. Now there are even opinions on what I wear? Oh Lord have mercy! I did look silly and it WAS a shirt I usually wear with pajama pants, but REALLY? Do you really feel less because your Mom looks a little dweeby? Does this really effect how you see yourself and feel about yourself?

Why am I so surprised when they struggle?

My heart felt heavy a few days ago with all these issues on my brain. I had lunch with a super great girlfriend, whose gentle encouragement pointed out all the wonderful things she sees in my girls. She put the graphic above into her own words, which I think is why it hit so hard when I saw it today on Pinterest. God has to do that with me you know…work in themes. Say things in more ways than one. Hit me over the head a few times, lovingly of course. I love it when He does this, for He knows what is going to work on my heart.

The same day my Mother-In-Law had to drop something off for me, and the timing was perfect, as I was still sorting through my thoughts and emotions when it comes to this parenting thing and they came blurting out the minute she sat down.

She gave me such practical advice. She helped me figure out how to stop the lecture and just simply talk to my girls. She gave me example questions to ask them, to stir their own thinking and their own little hearts. I felt hopeful right away, stomach unknotting and weight off my shoulders.

It is working. I am seeing that my lecturing can be very shaming and guilt producing, and that is so not what I want to do. Instead, I want to ask them about their hearts, to guide them into thinking about who they really are and who they want to be. To remind them that God thinks the world of them and loves them fully, and that there is nothing they can or can’t do to make Him love them more or less. These are the things that bring on true identity.

I don’t have it all figured out yet, and I definitely want to get my thoughts together more when it comes to revealing to my girls all the amazing things their Creator thinks about them. Identity is my key word that I will focus on, and I will teach them who God says they are.

I will also choose to look at the good in them. There is so, so very much. When I chose to see all the gifts in them, it calms fear and puts it in its place. It reminds me Who has the them. It takes the world off my shoulders and puts it where it actually is and where it belongs; in His hands.

FAMILY/ Parenting

Paying Attention To Our Children-Part 3 – Purposeful Living

Paying Attention To Our Children–Part 3 – Purposeful Living

These posts written by Todd (Amy’s husband) are designed to model a system of purposeful living. At least once a month, he spends time setting meaningful goals around one of seventeen core priorities.

If you missed it, consider reading the foundation post – Purposeful Living #1.

Correct Priority

Priority #5 – Social Health – Immediate Family–Children (Avery-Social & Emotional Health)

Preface

Many dads get the big stuff right. But it is the little things that make our children feel special, valued, and cherished. Paying Attention To Our Children will be an ongoing series highlighting the little ways in which I purposefully notice the little things in the lives of my girls.

In most cases I think I care far more about the details than they do, but even in these cases there is one thing of which I am certain – they know I love them. And a child who feels loved and cherished by their father (in addition to mom) is a child better positioned to thrive.

Goal Setting & Reflection Date

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Goal

Fix the rocket ship projection alarm clock she got for Christmas.

Goal Status

Completed (Ongoing-Monthly)

Thoughts

Avery received a Blue Hat Kids Rocket Ship Projection Alarm Clock for Christmas. I am going to be upfront with you from the start that this clock is a disaster. I am including a link back to Amazon so you can check out the clock for yourself, but you really do not want it. If you read the rest of this post you will find out why.

The clock looked like a rocket ship. The picture on the box looked pretty cool because you could project the time on to the ceiling in the dark. Avery was excited about the clock.

That evening my heart melted when I walked by her room after she had fallen asleep. She had pulled a chair right up next to her bed and the Rocket Ship Alarm Clock was sitting on top of it. And the time was being projected on to the ceiling. It was very cool looking and she was so cute!

About ten minutes later the alarm on the clock started beeping. I went into her room to turn it off so she wouldn’t wake up. I fiddled around with the buttons and the alarm did turn off. For five minutes. Then it started beeping again. Finally, I unplugged it.

The next night the same story happened all over again. Avery plugged it back in and fell asleep watching it project the time on to the ceiling over her bed. Around 11pm the alarm went off again.

This time I unplugged the clock and took it out of her room to figure out how to work the alarm. After 30 minutes of fiddling with it (including using the directions) I could not figure out how to work the alarm.

I wanted to toss the stupid thing at that point, but the memory of Avery’s joy in falling asleep while watching the time being projected over her head wouldn’t let me get rid of it. I was determined to figure out this ridiculous toy.

A week later I carved time out of my schedule to figure out the alarm. It took me over an hour, but eventually I figured out every single button including the alarm.

The Amazon reviews for this clock are scathing. And the reviews are deserved. Turning the alarm on and off demands a Master’s Degree in Engineering. It is pretty much impossible to teach to a young child. In addition, the time display does not light up and is impossible to read during the day unless you push a specific button. Finally, the Amazon reviews indicated the projection bulbs would burn out very quickly.

But I didn’t care. Avery loved it. And I loved watching Avery love it. The clock was worth saving even if it was hard to operate and wouldn’t last long. We will both enjoy this Rocket Ship Alarm Clock as long as we can.

Foundation Post

Build Your To-Do List Around Correct Priorities – Purposeful Living #1

Outline Of All Purposeful Living Posts

Purposeful Living Series

Additional Posts In This Series

Paying Attention To Our Children–Part 1

Paying Attention To Our Children–Part 2

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