A Real & Healing Transfusion

I need help to love from an outside source.
A transfusion.
Less of me, more of Him.

He is True Love
He is a life-giving flow that pulses through my veins.
Without it, without Him
My heart is..

Empty.
Weak-pulsed.
Sick.

Unable to keep up with the demand that life brings,
Everywhere I turn
Vessels waiting to be filled
Yearning and crying out for nourishment.
They are small, weak, frail.

Dying.

Some are my own
Some are not.

Why do I try to give an infusion without the life source supply?
I’ve been given un-ending flow of red, spilled for me

Given a promise that allows me to live,
That gives me breath-
And movement-
And life.
Instead, I stick myself and others with what is meant for good
But instead– it hurts.

I want to love.
I want to have patience.
I want to be a life giver.

But–a crucial step is missed.

I forget about His
Never- ending
All- powerful
Miraculous
Infusion that is before me at all times

Hanging within arms reach.
A price paid by the Father God
The spent and spilled blood, meant to transform

I just need to look up.
There it sits. Hangs, really.

Untapped.

At times I glance up, then life distracts.
I try to infuse,
Sometimes clumsily,
Sometimes with great skill,
But it is useless, as there is

No motion,
No connection,
No awareness.

Just distraction.

How am I  to love without Love?
How am I to give life without Life?
How am I to love without living loved?

What am I hooked up to?
Am I trying to survive by plugging into others love?

Worthless.
Unfulfilling.

Reminders of my need of True Life.
Reminders of my weakness.

His blood alone, not others, will heal.
Will quench thirst and sooth veins,
Plumping and making them strong again.

I look to the source
I see the red flowing
A beautiful journey though tubes of mercy and grace

Dancing, moving
Always moving towards me, not  away.

Ready to enter in.
Ready to give life.

Needle inserted
It will bring healing as I allow His blood love to flow into me,
Infusing me.
In with Him, out with me.

From weak and dying
To strong and restored to life.

I am now ready.
I can now give,
I can love
I am tapped in.
Ready to love living loved.




The prayer that followed:


Lord, I feel numb and tired. 
So tired of this fallen world, of my flesh and the drowning.  
The enemy continues to fulfill his plans in those I love.  In me.
But, you say you know your plans for me.
I know nothing happens without your awareness and that your eyes are on this child. 
I’ve been trying to love without Your love.  
You’ve given me a clear answer, to plug into your love, to fill up with your love
Then I will outflow love.
Show me how to do this.
I want a year full of plugging into you.
You through me.