Wounds To Wisdom

I’ve learned enough in the past to know that when hardships come, I need to be alert to the lessons.

Most are small, tweaks to the character.  But there are times when I feel turmoil that is bigger, and I then know that God is brewing something good, and I brace myself for the type of love and growth that comes through a storm.

When life is smooth sailing, nice and cool, I rest.  These times of rest are precious, but I also find I get lethargic and lazy to the lessons.  Days slip by and before I know it, I have not called out His name for far too long.  A longing starts to stir within and I am missing the one who knows it all and all of me.

James 1.  I would say this is my favorite chapter of mine in all of His word.  Here is verses 1-5. Love.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” 

My heart has been heavy, and for once it is not due to health issues.  A different storm stirring.  New lessons brewing.  In the midst I have had sweet reminders of His presence.  A note from my former youth pastor, with words sweet and timely.  A gift in the mail from my sister fighter friend, a necklace that brought an instant stream of tears as I felt it rest around my neck.  It wrapped me not only in her love, but brought a whisper from Him–“I see you, all of you, and you are fully loved. This gift is from her & through her, but I led. I work through my people and my timing is perfect.  Wear and feel my love around your neck.”

“Ok child, it is now time for this.  Let’s conquer this one together.”

Sometimes I mistaken the imperfect packages He brings these lessons in, as the enemy.  They are not.  They are just messy, broken humans, as am I.  I am learning to forgive and look past the package.  I am learning to not take things so personally.

How?  I am seeing myself through God’s lens.
Pure.  Forgiven.  Made new.  Growing.

Learning is the key word here.  My initial human response is defensiveness.  Self pity.  Lists of all the things I am doing right.  Lots of “yeah, buts..”  When any fault is pointed out in me, this is my natural response.

But, something is changing.  It may be my initial response, but it is quickly being followed up by the sweetness of God whispers..”Forgiven.  Made new.  Growing.”

These beautiful song lyrics “you are more than the problems you create, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create.  You have been remade!” {You Are More by Tenth Avenue West}

Swapped thought patterns, happening much more quickly.  Growth.

This new storm brewing?  It is hard to name, and honestly, it may just be more of the same, just deeper–from a different package.  But sometimes the package it comes in makes all the difference, and makes a lesson thought conquered, brand new and intimidating.

But, God’s questions to me end up being the same..

“Do you trust me?”  “Do you believe you are who I say you are?”  “Is my opinion of you enough?”  “Can you let go of defensiveness?”  “Do you believe that I am good?” “Do you believe that I am just, that I will take care of others, that is is MY job, not yours?” “Do you believe that the good work I have started in you, I will be faithful to complete?”

Yes, Lord, I believe.

I trust.
You ARE good.
You are enough.
I will let go.
I give you the others.
I give you me.
You are faithful.