husband Archives • New Nostalgia

Let Me Tell You About My Todd

Let me tell you about my Todd.

I’ve had the privilege of calling this man my husband for 20 years.

I’ve watched him morph into uprightness, right before my eyes.

Don’t get me wrong, there has always been good and beauty in this man of mine. I’ve learned from him since day one.

Over the years, pain and struggle have entered our world and has softened and humbled him. He has chosen to see the beauty in the struggle and it has made him beautiful.

In my struggle with cancer and mental illness, he has come alongside. Not perfect, but persistent and ever-present, accepting what is and allowing me to heal and grow.

Right now he is in a season of hard work and problem-solving. He is working harder than I’ve known him to and that says a lot, for my guy has always given 100%.

Here is what I’ve noticed:

He’s working harder than ever at this problem solving, yet comes home with enough in him to solve our family’s everyday problems.

I witness this and I know where the goodness, gentleness, humbleness, and persistence comes from. I know his help is from the Lord.

He comes home long after dinner in this season and doesn’t miss a beat. Teenage girls go straight to their Dad with their everyday problems.

Problems that feel anything but every day to them, because everything is big when you are a teen and really, it is. He welcomes them and their words and struggle. They know they can always go to their dad.

I listen to father and daughter’s voices drifting up from our downstairs. Our daughter shares what is on her heart, hard decisions she needs to make, her voice young and shrill and a bit frantic.

His voice? It is the voice I fell in love with 20+ years ago, deep and gentle and calm. He is right where he shines, in problem-solving mode. He problem solves by listening, truly hearing, and possessing the wisdom to know what to say, when to say it and how.

He weighs the future and gives insight into moving forward with the best goals in mind. He does all of this without forcing, controlling or manipulating. He helps her sort out thoughts and come to her own conclusions.

His calm words of wisdom and acceptance calm her and I notice her voice gets quieter. After about 1/2 hour of processing with her Dad, her tears turn to laughter.

She has experienced the love of her Father through words of her father, given to him by his Father.

All is right in her world again.

FAMILY/ Kids/Family/ Marriage

3 Ways To Respect Your Husband

by Cassie Celestain | Marriage Contributor

I have said it once and I will say it again: Respect is one of the most important traits to make a marriage work. I am not the only one saying this. When asking newlyweds and seasoned couples alike what the most important trait in marriage is I am most often answered with “Respect.”

Depending how we were raised respect may mean something different to each of us. Also, respecting men and respecting women can look a little different. Our Love Languages could also affect how each of us feel respected. So finding the best way to show respect to your man may take a little time and practice. However, these are three habits that make most guys feel respected.

Build Him Up- Give him praises. Let him know that you appreciate what he does for you/your family. Tell him all the things you love about him. When you do these things be specific. It ensures that he knows you really mean it rather than being vague. If he does something that really blows your mind build him up in front of other friends or family members. Not only does it let him know you think highly of him, but you want others to know just how awesome he is!

Trust His Decisions- As women I feel like we often think we know what is best for us, our kids and our family. I mean we do have motherly instincts, right? But I believe we are called to trust in our husbands’ decisions. He is called to lead our house, but how can he do so confidently if we are second guessing and questioning his decisions? It is okay to not understand his choice or even feel as if we would make a different choice. The respecting part comes in when we show our husband we trust his decision even when we don’t understand. This process takes faith and prayers for many to accomplish!

Check Tone of Voice- A simple reply in the wrong tone can be considered rude. We have all done it before: Something has made us upset. Someone says something to us. We respond with a tone indicating we are upset which really has nothing to do with the person talking to us. Or there is the opposite situation. Hubby says something and we respond right away with a tone of voice that clearly shows our true feelings about the topic. I am not saying to hide your feelings in any way. I am however, saying we should take a moment before responding to make sure our tone of voice is showing respect to our men!

Using these three habits to make sure we are showing respect to our lovers is a great start! Use these techniques as you discover other ways to respect your man. Feel free to ask him, “What are things I can do to show you respect?” Or “When do you feel respected most?” Our men want our respect and we should want to respect them!

What is a way you show respect to your husband?

“Marriage is Not a Destination, But Rather a Life Long Journey”