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Staying Connected In Your Marriage Through Changes

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by Cassie Celestain | Marriage Contributor

Staying Connected through Changes

My husband, Ryan, over the past few months has had his responsibilities change at work. He is now overseeing more projects and stepping up into a leadership role. We also just passed our 32 week mark on our first pregnancy. With these two things going on I have started to feel some changes taking place in our life. And I know when baby comes that will be a big change too!

Through this change with Ryan’s work and our pregnancy we have been trying very hard to make sure we stay connected. We believe we are each other’s support system and no matter what adjustments our life begins to make we must have a solid foundation at home and with each other. Having that stable base between us allows us to go into the world and conquer so much more than we could without it!

“Changes” can be anything from career moves to physical moves, from sickness to regained health, from family issues to big family monuments. All of these things can create a large amount of change in our lives.

Here are four ways to stay connected with your husband through these changes: 

Accept the Change– These alterations in our life can be hard to get used to. We can even have negative feelings about how it is effecting our life. The first thing we must do as a couple is accept the changes (assuming they cannot be helped or the couple has decided that the changes are the best choice). Being on the same team about the changes taking place is the best way to stay connected through them.

Daily Interactions When our life is starting to be modified it often takes time to get into a new routine. We must make an effort to have daily interactions with our husband even through this phase. Finding time to  connect when busy can be difficult, but it needs to be done! Some can have daily interactions together with a cup of coffee in the morning or some at dinner. Some even get their daily connection at the very end of the day as they are in bed next to each other. This daily interaction leads to our next point of having real conversations.

Real Conversations Having these real conversations allow you both to know how the other is feeling or coping with the differences taking place.  Communication about tough topics may need to happen as well. Just know these real conversations continue to draw you closer together!

Discuss Needs– This one is personally hard for me. Sometimes it is necessary to let our husband know our needs. No beating around the bush or giving hints, but flat out saying what we need. Sometimes this includes me saying I feel that I need more of his focused attention when he is at home or even a task I can’t complete on my own. Other times it is the need for a date night or cuddles. We must be open and honest about our needs through these changes taking place.

Although life events can seem as if they are drawing us away from our husbands there are ways for us to help ease through those transition times. With a commitment to stay connected with our husbands we can do just that by keeping the four above things in mind. Remember staying connected does take time, energy and effort. But it is completely worth it!

What changes have you and your husband gone through where you had to focus on staying connected?

“Marriage is Not a Destination, But Rather a Life Long Journey”

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  • Beth
    May 21, 2014 at 11:15 am

    I love this, Cassie! You have much wisdom beyond your years and I didn’t know you are expecting! Congrats! Oh, and I love the new look at your blog–back at your place. Thanks so much for sharing your heart and challenging us to stay connected through the changes. Marriage is not for the “faint of heart!” Hugs!

    And thank you, Amy, for sharing Cassie’s post. I’m not familiar with your blog, but I want to visit more!

    • AmyNewNostalgia
      May 22, 2014 at 10:21 am

      So sweet Beth. She is wonderful, our Cassie…isn’t she? I learn from every post she writes.

    • Cassie
      May 27, 2014 at 8:25 am

      Thank you Beth. My mom always said I had an old soul my whole life 😉 Life constantly changes and our marriage has to be flexible to work around that as well! Thank you for visiting!

  • Pam Green
    May 19, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    I just got a teaching job for next school year and my husband has to be in a different state a couple times each year for a month straight for his work. So we will have to learn to cope with being apart for two times during the year and keeping connected. I will have to take your advice especially for asking about what I need to feel we are still connecting even when physically apart.

    • AmyNewNostalgia
      May 20, 2014 at 12:14 pm

      Whoa that is a long time to be away from hubs. I love that your heart wants to connect and you will be rewarded in big ways as you seek to do this. Congrats on the new teaching job!

    • Cassie
      May 27, 2014 at 8:28 am

      Such an exciting time for you with a new teaching postition! But speaking from experience I know how much work that is! That is great you want to still make sure you are staying connected when away from each other. A few posts back I wrote about “Ensuring Quality Time During Long Distance” that you might want to check out. You can find it here:

  • Christina
    May 19, 2014 at 7:37 am

    Love the new website design. Looks much easier to find things and I’ve been following for quite some time. Keep up the great work, Amy.
    Your friend and fellow survivor/champion of breast cancer.

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