Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Spiritual

Riding The Twists And Turns

I’ve talked to you about this roller coaster called LIFE that I feel like I am on.

Lately, I’ve been in a line, feeling stuck.  It is called the “waiting- for- test- results” line, and it seems never ending because the results of these tests need more tests, and on the wait goes.  It is not fun.

 I think that I tend to stand in this line, to the side of this coaster called Life, almost paralyzed, sometimes being willing to take the ride, but lots of times I am distracted, just standing in line, waiting, because that seems like the natural thing to do.  It is what is expected.

I feel like something has been revealed to me.

I see some empty seats on the coaster ride that I had not seen before.  Why have I spent time waiting in line when there are empty seats that need filled?  Not only are they empty, but the ones I am meant to sit in are made only for me.

I am learning how to resolve myself to the inevitable twists and turns that come while I am on.  I am learning to buckle up and find joy in the ride, despite the uncertainty and insecurity it can create in me.  The extra brave hold their hands up, even when the coaster seems to be spiraling out of control.  I want to be extra brave.  I want to hold my hands up in glee, letting go of all control, because I know the buckle will hold me.  He is my security.  He is trustworthy.

He has reason for my ride.  He has seats that only I can fill while on it.  He knows the joy and freedom I can experience when I am being exactly where I need to be, buckled in at all times. If I refuse, I am missing out on this Joy ride.  I’m especially missing out on those riding around me, for you see, they too, have twist and turns that are scary.  

I REFUSE to be one who gets stuck and distracted, with what seems like important busyness, when really, all it is that I am doing is


but waiting in a line that is meaningless, when there are empty seats.  Custom made seats for each individual who are willing to jump on.  Who are willing to see those around them, who are willing to see that together, if buckled in, they can do amazing things for eternity.

All that to say, I’m gonna ride while waiting.
God, give me the courage to keep hoppin’ on.

I heard this song yesterday called ‘I Refuse“by Josh Wilson and I LOVED IT!!  IT’S MY NEW FAVORITE!
It made sense of all the things on my heart lately.  It was fitting that the first time I heard it was on the one year anniversary of the Haitian Earthquake. Take a peek/listen (lyrics are included) if you please.

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  • Emily
    January 16, 2011 at 6:24 pm

    That is really great! It made me think of a quote I have written down for myself (can’t remember where I got it.) “I discovered an astonishing truth: God is attracted to weakness. He can’t resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need Him. Our weakness, in fact, makes room for His power.” Ahh, every time after I read that it makes me want to make more room for His power!

  • Eileen Smithdeal
    January 14, 2011 at 3:50 am

    What an amazing example you are to those you come in contact with (like me), the ones gripping to the handlebars for dear life. Thanks for taking the time to teach us how to raise our hands through the twists and turns of life.

  • elaine @ peace for the journey
    January 13, 2011 at 9:38 pm

    On the ride with you sister; with moments of raising my hands high, and moments of gripping the bar for all I’m worth! It’s been hard for me to always embrace the beauty and joy in this journey we call cancer, but I’ve had a few great ones.

    And for that I am exceedingly grateful, and I would have missed them had this not been my portion.

    Strap in and live the ride… fully. Highs and lows, bends and twists, dips and elevations. In the end, you’ll land safely home. So will I.

    Love you. Prayers for the waiting.


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