Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Spiritual

Do Not Fear

It was 2 days after being diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer.  I was sitting here at this computer, feeling in a daze, scared and numb.  It was early September, and it was raining outside with an  occasional clap of thunder.  I vividly remember a very large, loud  thunderclap.  It shook our windows and me, and I had this thought… “that is the sound of the power of God.”  I instantly felt a peace, knowing I was in the hands of the same God whose power is displayed in so many ways, including raging storms.  I felt like he was saying, “Amy, I am in this with you.  I will walk with you through this storm.”A song that we occasionally sing at church then popped in my head, so I went straight to YouTube to find it.  I found the above video, and I watched it at least 3 times, with tears streaming down, each time feeling more and more calm.  I love that song, and the chorus has played in my mind many, many times the last few months.

I have been pretty reflective all weekend after receiving such great news of a clear scan on Friday.  I’ve had a sense of awe, and calm, and extreme gratefulness.  As we were scurrying around getting ready for church Sunday morning, I was thinking how fear was almost non- existent all weekend.  What a much needed break! I then thought “I would love it if  ‘Do Not Fear’ was one of the songs we sing in church today!”  Sure enough, it was the second song we sang. As it started, I excitedly whispered to my girls, “It’s mommy’s song!”  They knew what I was talking about as I had played it for them and sang it with them.  I just could not stop smiling while singing, it was another kiss from my God who truly HAS been with me.  My heart almost burst.

Back to that stormy evening.  I kept watching this video, and I knew that He was not promising that I would live. Yes, I longed to hear that, but only God could know the outcome.  He WAS promising that He is with me, and that even in death, I am not consumed!  Because of what Jesus did on that cross I had HOPE, and I had the reassurance that I would be with Him forever, no matter what.

Raging waters are scary.  They take your breath away and cause panic.  They take all sense of control.

Passing through fire is painful.  Hot. Uncomfortable and at times unbearable.  It strips you.

I felt all those things in this battle with cancer.
I cried out many times in lament before my God.

He was there. 

He constantly gave me His Word through people, books, His book, and His creation.

I would not be overcome because HE HAS OVERCOME!
He has overcome death for me, so I can have eternal life.
Oh, how I long for life!  I want to live!!
I asked God to live, and He is teaching me what living really means.
He is teaching me that HE IS LIFE.
He is helping me understand that HIS LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE.

“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” Psalm 63:3

When you pass through the water I will be with you,

And the waves they will not overtake you.
Do not fear for I have redeemed you.
You are mine.
For I am the Lord Your God.
For I am the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I am the Lord. (Women: Do not fear.)
I am the Lord. (Do not fear.)
I am the Lord. (Do not fear.)
I am the Lord. (Do not fear.)
I am the Lord.
When you pass through the fire I will be with you,
And the flames they will not overcome you.
Do not fear for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name.
You are mine.

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  • steve
    December 15, 2010 at 8:53 pm


    What exceedingly good news! A clear scan is a wonderful Christams gift. Thanks for posting that video… “Fear not” are two of the best words in scripture… Especially in this time of year, can’t you just hear the angel Gabriel telling Mary…”do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.” (Luke 1:30) So, just maybe, through all of this you are learning to trust the voice that says…”do not be afraid, Amy…” Wow!

  • elaine @ peace for the journey
    December 15, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    A good, honest word, straight from the heart. Thanks for giving it to me this morning…


  • The Polka Dot Closet
    December 14, 2010 at 4:43 am

    OMG I missed your last post!!!! MERRY, MERRY, CHRISTMAS!!!!


  • Lyndee @ A Recovering Craft Hoarder
    December 14, 2010 at 12:53 am

    Wow! That is seriously awesome! Congratulations on a clean scan.

  • Rachel Hodges
    December 13, 2010 at 11:13 pm

    Hey Amy,

    As I was reading your post I was reminded of the sermon my pastor gave yesterday on suffering, in which he said that when you suffer well, it is good for you and for those watching you — as unbelievers will be intrigued, and believers will be encouraged. Thank you for sharing this walk with us readers, and being an encouragement.

    So thankful for your health. You are loved more then you can ever grasp by our great Father.


    Here is the address to the sermon I referenced – it is the one at the top of the list titled “Generosity”

  • Lana
    December 13, 2010 at 8:44 pm

    So glad you are receiving many blessings! Enjoy that feeling of calm, embrace it, and keep it with you always or at least where you can easily reach for it, like maybe in the form of a book?

  • Amy
    December 13, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    God is good!!! I’m so happy for you and your sweet family. This is one of my absolute FAVORITE songs, and I began humming it when I read the title of your blog post. And then I got tears in my eyes as I read the rest of it.

    I’m so glad God is blessing you and your sweet family. Prayers and hugs are being sent your way!

  • Anonymous
    December 13, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    Wow, I’ve not heard that song. I was thinking it was going to be the one we sing in church a lot. It starts “Even though I walk thru the valley, of the shadow of death….I will fear no evil, for my God is with me…” It’s patterned after Psalm 23, I think and is on the radio still quite a bit.

  • Amy @ Increasingly Domestic
    December 13, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Wow Amy!
    Okay, I am seriously bawling my eyes out right now. You have a gift; a very powerful gift and I believe that God has great plans for you my friend.
    I feel like I was just taken to church;) Love it!

  • Lelia Chealey
    December 13, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    AWESOME!!! I will share this with Patti right now as she head to Omaha. You’re amazing Amy and I saw how proud your little girl is of you last night. Out of all the lives you have affected on this journey, the most important ones got it. They saw you, heard you and took in every step you let them see you walk. Hand in hand with God. Mother to mother I only hope I show the devotion, passion and dedication to God you have showed your daughters even when I face not only the big stuff as you have, but also the small stuff. You have impacted them huge Amy and you the impact on your girls alone has to make this all worth it.
    So glad you’re sunroom door was locked last night because I was just going to drop it off and leave. A blessing of an hour.

  • Aimee
    December 13, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    Beautiful, Amy! Just beautiful. Praise God for your good report!

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