Cancer Journey/ HEALTH

Body Images

So many body images taken
Vulnerable insides exposed
Ultrasound
X-rays
Cat scan
Bone scan
Pet scan
MRI
Images show so many shades of grey,
Sliced shapes of organs..
Tell me they are ok?
Images of this body of mine
Fragile with disease yet so strong
My brain works, fingers move
Digestion. Menstruation.
Walking. Talking. Fine.
But not.
Images show a cluster of cells that don’t belong
Cells that have the ability to meander
To go with the flow and end up where they may.  
They multiply and make friends,
Their celebrating clusters destroy my tissues.
So we take images..
We peer into the insides
Looking for the “don’t belong’s”
I lay on display, cold and in dismay,
Enveloped in large, rotating tubes
Small tubes inject a solution 
So we can find a solution
Tubes rotate
I lay and pray
For what my 3 girls will learn
At the end of this day.
The same 3 girls
Look at their own body image
So many times I’ve whispered,
“my lovelies, its what’s on the inside that matters“
This is one moment when I wish that were not true.

I peer deeper,
I see Him in whose Image I am made.
I find the solution.

22

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June 22, 2010
  • Amanda
    September 13, 2010 at 12:31 am

    That is so beautiful and so painful at the same time. I am still thinking of you, you are in my prayers.

  • Page
    September 10, 2010 at 2:14 am

    Wow…what a powerful way to share your heart. You have been on my heart often – I am praying for you!

  • Jen
    September 10, 2010 at 4:55 am

    I also have young girls, I also strive to teach them a person’s not beautiful unless their heart is beautiful, and I also had a breast mass removed a little over 10 years ago and have been experiencing odd things lately. I just found your blog yesterday via a link to one of your recipes, and today I was perusing it and hit “home” and read this. Shocking. I will be praying for you and your family. We know God is sovereign, but we’re also human and we are weak and struggle with living out that knowledge. When you mentioned your hair loss and weight loss, it all seemed to fit. My family recently went through the trenches of cancer with both grandparents, and the cancer is such a thief it robs your body of every.single.thing. Arm yourself with all the knowledge you can on how to feed the healthy cells along the way. Praying for you.

  • amy b
    September 9, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    Hi amy
    I discovered your blog about a month ago, and want you to know that it has encouraged me in so many ways…I just read your entry about breast cancer.
    I will pray for you and can’t wait to hear about how you fight this battle .
    remember..your savior loves you.

  • GunnyMom
    September 9, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Amy- You are such a beautiful lady. God is with you. Keep thinking positive thoughts. Stay strong. Praying for you.

  • Tracy
    September 9, 2010 at 9:59 am

    So moving Amy. Praying for you and your family in this unfathomable journey.

  • Jan @ bobbypins boardwalk
    September 9, 2010 at 3:03 am

    Well, Amy, believe it or not I’ve left three comments for you today and none of them have gone through. I suppose I’m just too long-winded. I am so sorry for your pain and also understand the frustration you must be experiencing. I want you to know that I am praying for you, my friend. I pray that you experience a speedy resolution, that God heal you of this illness and provide strength to you and your family. When I see you, I don’t picture you laying on a table getting tests, even though I know you’ve described it so well. I picture a beautiful lady smiling shyly down from the corner of her blog, making everyone who visits her blog feel like they are being welcomed into her home. That’s how I see you, Amy. I want to feel better so badly. Would you like me to add you to my prayer request on my blog? I would be happy to do so. In any event, I will be praying for you!

  • AshFaith1
    September 9, 2010 at 3:21 am

    Amy,

    This is Ashley Snowdon, Kathy’s friend. I just wanted to let you know that Ryan and I are praying for you! I cannot imagine all that you have been through and the journey that is ahead of you. It is clear (from the responses on your blog) that you have a great deal of love and support, but just know that you have two more people praying for your swift recovery!

  • Anonymous
    September 9, 2010 at 2:48 am

    Amy,
    You don’t know me and we’ve never met, but God keeps bringing you to mind all day so that I can pray for you. Lovely poem….your girls have a wonderful mommy who truly is a beautiful example of faith. Bless you and all your family.

  • Kelly Morris
    September 8, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    You are processing your fear and heart in a beautiful and inspiring way…so proud of you!

  • John Rathbun
    September 9, 2010 at 12:11 am

    A beautiful blog from a beautiful daughter! No amount of cancer can diminish your outward beauty or detract from your inward beauty. God is using you in so many ways to so many people. When you’re at your weakest, He is at His strongest to do His work through you. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I love you, Dad

  • jeana
    September 8, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    Beautiful Amy. I think and pray for you often.

  • Anonymous
    September 8, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    I have been reading your blog from the beginning and have loved it and you! I am angry–you are fit, healthy, eat healthy. My mom had the exact same deal–they told her “don’t worry about it, it’s scar tissue from you old biopsy. We see this all of the time. Then…it wasn’t ok” She’s thin, eats healthy, worked out, breast fed her babies (which is supposed to help cut the risk), didn’t smoke…etc. It’s been six years and she’s fine today. You’ve been thought about nonstop today and prayed for numerous times. I just am in shock. Beautiful writing by the way.

  • Kel
    September 8, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    Amy,
    After reading your blog I instantly felt like we have so much in common. I am so sad to hear you have this diagnosis. I was diagnosed three years ago with cancer. I wanted you to know I will be praying for you and your family. In Christ’s Love,
    Kelli
    randkglass@msn.com

  • Amy Kinser
    September 8, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    I have thought about you often today. Still praying for you…

  • Linda
    September 8, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    Wow! You are a gifted writer. Praying for you all.

  • Ali
    September 8, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    When you write about “it’s what on the inside that counts,” the message you have whispered to your daughters . . . oh my, I am in tears.
    Love and prayers to you from Ohio.

  • Marie @ Chocolate-Covered Chaos
    September 8, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Beautiful, Amy. You have my prayers and tears in this very moment. Thinking of you often…

  • elizabeth @ twelvecrafts
    September 8, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Brings tears to my eyes . . . profound words.

  • Dawn
    September 8, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    It’s a lovely way to describe something so ugly. Keep the faith.

  • Theresa
    September 8, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Dear Amy, My prayers for you and your family. May the love of HIS healing hands rest upon your shoulders. Theresa xoxo

  • amydelle
    September 8, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Beautiful.

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