Cancer Journey/ HEALTH/ Spiritual

A Double Dad Day

Today truly was a wonderful day, with a little melt down thrown in to keep things interesting.:)

My dad and step mom came to visit and go to church with us. It was so great to see and hug them, and it was so comforting just having them sit with us in church and to worship together.  We were then treated to lunch, and spoiled with brand new Nebraska Husker shirts for the whole family from Grandpa.  I love mine.  It is a cozy, warm fleece. It will be wonderful for fall, and I will feel wrapped in my dad’s love when I wear it.

Once home, I was quite tired and looking forward to a nap.  I realized I was supposed to take a certain medication in preparation for my first chemo treatment tomorrow, and sent Todd off to Walgreen’s to pick it up.  When I took the medication, I realized it was a steroid treatment to keep me from having an allergic reaction to the chemo.  I have to tell you, it is hard to go from a pretty “all- natural” type girl, to a girl with a large Ziploc bag full of all kinds of drugs.  I felt the steroids kick in, and this is when I had a bit of a melt down.  I was ready for a nap, but instead felt jittery, sweaty, and nauseous.

My fit was about loss of freedom.  I feel like I have lost the freedom to decide what to do with my time, what to put into my body, and even when to eat and sleep.  I cried to my husband & he listened. Then I wrote in my journal and just “kept on keeping on.” (the advice of a wise reader–thank you!)

I felt God whispering even in the midst of my tears that HE is in control.  HE has led me to the right doctors, and I have to trust Him to lead me to whatever He desires for me to put into my body.  Right now, it has to be what the doctors are telling me, so I can fight this head on.  The sermon at church today was about trusting God’s divine, sovereign, and perfect plan for our lives.  Trusting in His timetable.  I keep feeling Him tell me to just rest and trust.  Surrendering my fears, feeling them, then giving them to Him.  Releasing them.  This means even releasing my cancer treatment and all it entails to Him, knowing He is in control.

An hour or so after I had calmed down, I got a surprise visit from my father-in-law.  It was perfect timing to just get another reassuring hug from a dad who loves me.  God knows just what I need and provides it  at just the right time.  After he left, we sat down to a meal that was lovingly prepared for us by a good friend.  The rest of this evening I have just been basking in the love of my Father, grateful for the two dad’s He has put in my life.  Their love reminds me how deep and great is the Father’s love for me!

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  • Angie
    September 17, 2010 at 4:56 am

    How nice that is that all the men in your life are so comforting and supportive. It has to be terrible to have to take all of this however it comes but I do believe that God only brings you to what he can bring you through.

  • Jennifer @ Studio JRU
    September 14, 2010 at 2:53 am

    What a wonderful DAD day! And a warm, of course HUSKER, fleece… just like a big ol’ hug! 🙂 I am so grateful for you that you are hearing God’s voice and that you know HE is right there with you, through every step.

  • Jill Nogales
    September 13, 2010 at 5:09 pm

    My thoughts are with you, Amy. Especially today. I remember dealing with the loss of freedom/control issues too. Not easy. Maybe it will help to remember that although you may have been surprised by this whole cancer thing, God wasn’t surprised at all. He has been preparing you for this. And He has been preparing those around you to minister to your needs in the most loving and best possible ways.
    Big hugs to you!

  • Kelly Morris
    September 13, 2010 at 10:29 am

    I don’t know if your remember that old Tom Petty song “Free Falling” but that has become my anthem the last 17 months of change in our home. I can’t fix, control or change anything, all I can do is ‘free fall’ into the loving hands of my heavenly Father.

    That song’s for you right now, sister.

    I hear you sentiments about all the meds, I would feel exactly the same way, and have! But this isn’t a time for prevention, it’s time for the big guns, so to speak. Natural choices are mute for now, but they will likely play a part in your long term recovery.

    Trust Him, Amy, trust the process and praise Him that the cancer was found when it was.

    Big fleece hugs!


  • Beth
    September 13, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    So really it was a Triple Dad day, as you were comforted by your Heavenly Father all along. Thanks for sharing, as always. These temporal bodies of ours are a bit frustrating! So glad you can find your strength in the only place that can truly get you through this- God!

  • Gloria (The Little Red House with the White Porch)
    September 13, 2010 at 11:10 am

    Hello, Amy. You’re right: you have to put it all in His hands. When I am at my wit’s end, I just say to myself: “Throw it up to God!” and I actually FLING my hands and arms up to Him. Do it, you will feel good actually performing that act and you will then know that you truly have given it up to Him to handle. 🙂
    I will continue to pray for you, Amy!
    Best regards,

  • Aiming4Simple
    September 13, 2010 at 3:46 am

    I appreciate your honesty and your testimony of faith in the midst of this ordeal. I am glad to hear you were able to spend time with your family today.

    When you are feeling a little better, perhaps you could put me in touch with someone who is coordinating those who want to help your family in practical ways. I’d be happy to run a few errands for example.

  • Mom on the Run
    September 13, 2010 at 3:22 am

    This morning our minister’s sermon was from Jeremiah and he said “the good news is that God is coming….but the news isn’t good. But the good news is….God is coming.”

  • Destri
    September 13, 2010 at 3:21 am

    You know it was funny, I was grocery shopping tonight and was looking at marinara sauce. Instead of grabbing the generic on sale, I reached for the organic version with no high fructose corn syrup. It made me think of you. You taught me that. 🙂 And just recently my husband has had some health issues and it has forced us to look at our diets. I pulled up your list again and read through it. Such wisdom.
    You continue to teach me miss Amy.
    You will be in my prayers and thoughts tomorrow!

  • Marianne
    September 13, 2010 at 3:21 am

    I read Psalm 30 and I think of you and hope it will give you comfort.

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