by Cassie Celestain | Marriage Contributor
I have said it once and I will say it again: Respect is one of the most important traits to make a marriage work. I am not the only one saying this. When asking newlyweds and seasoned couples alike what the most important trait in marriage is I am most often answered with “Respect.”
Depending how we were raised respect may mean something different to each of us. Also, respecting men and respecting women can look a little different. Our Love Languages could also affect how each of us feel respected. So finding the best way to show respect to your man may take a little time and practice. However, these are three habits that make most guys feel respected.
Build Him Up- Give him praises. Let him know that you appreciate what he does for you/your family. Tell him all the things you love about him. When you do these things be specific. It ensures that he knows you really mean it rather than being vague. If he does something that really blows your mind build him up in front of other friends or family members. Not only does it let him know you think highly of him, but you want others to know just how awesome he is!
Trust His Decisions- As women I feel like we often think we know what is best for us, our kids and our family. I mean we do have motherly instincts, right? But I believe we are called to trust in our husbands’ decisions. He is called to lead our house, but how can he do so confidently if we are second guessing and questioning his decisions? It is okay to not understand his choice or even feel as if we would make a different choice. The respecting part comes in when we show our husband we trust his decision even when we don’t understand. This process takes faith and prayers for many to accomplish!
Check Tone of Voice- A simple reply in the wrong tone can be considered rude. We have all done it before: Something has made us upset. Someone says something to us. We respond with a tone indicating we are upset which really has nothing to do with the person talking to us. Or there is the opposite situation. Hubby says something and we respond right away with a tone of voice that clearly shows our true feelings about the topic. I am not saying to hide your feelings in any way. I am however, saying we should take a moment before responding to make sure our tone of voice is showing respect to our men!
Using these three habits to make sure we are showing respect to our lovers is a great start! Use these techniques as you discover other ways to respect your man. Feel free to ask him, “What are things I can do to show you respect?” Or “When do you feel respected most?” Our men want our respect and we should want to respect them!
What is a way you show respect to your husband?
karin
July 27, 2014 at 12:01 pmI understand that this blog is rooted in a religion that I don’t practice, but I can’t help but notice how patriarchal it is. The three points have merit, but it makes me sad to think (wonder?) if they don’t apply for a husband towards his wife.
Denise
June 22, 2014 at 6:03 pmI totally agree with the tone of voice example. Along the same lines, sometimes a comment (second-guessing, correction, criticism, etc) said publicly can feel disrespectful when it could have waited to be mentioned privately. A favorite book on this subject is Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.
Cassie
June 23, 2014 at 8:20 amOh very true Denise! Thank you for bringing that up. I have not heard of “Love and Respect” I will have to check it out! Thank you for the suggestion 🙂
Elizabeth
June 21, 2014 at 8:37 pmWell said! I have definitely found less commenting and more praying and trusting to be very helpful in marriage.
Cassie
June 22, 2014 at 12:49 pmElizabeth- I know for me sometimes I have feelings that maybe I shouldn’t have or shouldn’t express. That is when I turn to prayer to ask that my mind be cleared and to view my husband in a positive manner. I think we all have times that we may need to do this!